........ I allowed my thoughts to flow, flow freely like an angry tide, washing away everything on its way. But I didn’t try to tie them down, and let them flow. All the chambers of memories were now open all those broken promises, missed hopes, tired efforts, achieved goals, lost love, materialistic gains and moments lost, they were all visually alive in front of my closed eyes. The waves of memory was pushing me, hurting me, throwing me and churning me upside down..
Outside the window, child still playing, dancing, enjoying every moment of that tireless untied wind and heavenly rain. I kept my eyes close and kept fighting those painful memories of time, they were strong, they were alive and they were repeating themselves again and again and then there was that lady, who quietly stood and saw me from far, with the tears in her eye and smile on her face.
I know I cannot go away without acknowledging and confronting her, without, apologizing to her, without going down on my knees and confessing to her, that oh my mother, forgive me, please forgive me, As I was not able to be the son you want me to be, was not able to give you time, was not able be at your side, was not there when you needed me the most, was not there when you were taking your last breath and was not there when you were going away, Mom, mom, maaaaa, maaa .....please please, please forgive me, please forgive me....She didn’t said anything, she remained quiet, she silently moved away from my eyes and I was left to stay alone again, slowly the darkness from my eyes started to move away. Somewhere in the justice of the heavens and in the presence of clouds I will have to pay, but not today, not today, as today I wanted to go out, shout and play, be that child again... Today, I wanted to dance...yes dance in that rain.
I felt little sensation in my feet as they were feeling free again, I knew my direction, knew what I was doing ,I ran straight out of my door, straight into the rain, but when I reached there, that little kid who inspired a confession from my broken guts was gone, he was taken away into his room my his mother, who was scolding him for being irresponsible and not realizing the worth of an expensive cloth, but in my heart I knew that on that day, if there was someone who actually realized the true worth of that expensive cloth was that little kid, as no money in the world could buy that priceless smile which was there on his face, when he was dancing seen in the rain. I saw that little boy quietly watching me from his window, inside the closed walls, while I was standing there smiling, smiling alone, in the rain.