If Only!!!

IF ONLY!!!

I sat there gazing at the duckling swimming around their mother and father, O what a sight.

The ducklings swim without a care of the world, lost in their interests, exploring the area around them, their own little perfect world; how the time will change for them, their parents gaze at each other lovingly.

I too once loved with all my heart; I still see that warm smile and penetrating gaze, which melts my heart. I breathe a sigh and shed a tear when I remember the time, O how I wish to turn back that time...

I thought I had it all until that fine one day where I stood in line at the counter to be served, when I saw that bright face, gleaming smile and sparkling eyes, I forgot what was around me, I could only see her standing from me a few feet away, It felt as if I knew her from many years ago, but could I be mistaken!

I saw her a few times afterwards but didn’t have the courage to approach her. A few days later after many a sleepless nights, I build the courage to speak to her and get to know her better.

I saw her leaving the old church, when I decided to go up to her and introduce myself.

While I was walking up to her I somehow slipped and landed near her on my backside. She smiled at me and then burst into a fit of laughter, apologising at the same time, as to indicate she is not rude or impolite.

I may have hurt myself, but her laughter and smiling eyes, made me forget about the pain, as I gazed up at her.

She then reached out to me to help me up, I felt embarrassed, but happy in the thought that I have made her laugh and hopefully break the ice.

“Hi I’m Jenny” she said, for a few seconds I did not think about replying, when she again said “Hi I’m Jenny, are you alright?”

“Oh sorry, my name is Tom” I replied. From that day on we got on well and married soon afterwards.

One day when on our honeymoon I took her Horse riding, she said she was scared and that she didn’t know how to ride, “don’t worry, I’m with you” I told her. Next after a few yards her horse gallops away and I hear her screaming, I ride as fast as I can to catch her up, only to find her riding her horse gallantly without a worry in the world. She looks at me and laughs, “Then says “I can do a bit of riding”.

I smile back and we make our way back to the stables. A few weeks later, when all was forgotten I asked if she would like to learn to drive, she told me no and that she was scared. “Nothing to worry about” I told her and explained the different peddles to her and the gears of the car. We started of very slowly as not to go too fast. We entered a busty precinct, I asked her to be extra careful as not to hit anyone. Next she stepped on the accelerator as the car sped through the narrow streets and she was manovering as a pro, only to come to a stop next to a fountain and with the sudden breaking I went flying into the water, I was not too happy and she sat there laughing. She apologised when she saw how angry I was. “Never again” I said to her and I walked away to the hotel to dry up.

I forgave her after a short while as I loved her too much to see her sad.

Once back from our honeymoon and all was well until that one dreadful day when we were invited to a party, all was going well, but with the heat at the venue,  I decided to come outside for some fresh air by the pool.

A few minutes my lovely wife came to me to see if I was alright and we both sat by the pool and started to discuss our future plans.

I got up and saw how beautiful my wife was looking. I saw she was also sweating, I picked her up and looked at the pool and said to her “I see your hot, maybe you need to cool off by taking a swim?”

“NO, NO I can’t swim” she replied. “If you say so” I told her, “Just like the time you couldn’t ride the horse or the time you couldn’t drive the car”!!!

“I’m telling the truth, I can’t swim” She replied backed this time in a more frightened voice. I did not listen and threw her into the pool and told her “I would be back in a short while and hopefully you would have learnt to swim”.

I met a couple of friend and got talking to them, only to return an hour later to find Jenny still in the pool face down, her lifeless body floating in the middle of the pool. I let out a loud scream.

I can’t remember much after that, my mind is blank, oh why can’t I remember, WHY!!!!

“Come on Mr Payne’s, time to go” A voice replies, I look at this person with a blank look unable to say anything, Next thing I know I am being wheeled away back to a building with mental asylum written on it.

I try to scream, but no words come out, if only I could turn back the clock....