It is a strange thing to wish to die. Strange to see the jaws of
death open wide, see the bottomless darkness inside and find your
heart with numbed fear. Instead you are eager for the point of
that brief pain…
I am a single tendril of the
wind, weakened by ages of weariness, renewed by divined wills. I
blow around all the four directions, moved by a perfect system set
by the One God.
I have no home.
I am always on the move.
But now I stand still, watching a crack in the system I have
always worshiped in the poise of a man standing at the very edge
of the bridge's rail. I know who he is.
His back is hunched, his skin is reddened by the sting of sun,
his hands are roughened from the handle of his ax that had grown
a part of him. And many times I have watched wrinkles form around
his eyes as he squinted to the sun of every day's end and inhaled
air he had once so loved and smiled.
I know this man, yet it is hard now to recognize him.
He is stooping, he is beaten, the arms have lost the support of
muscles, the face has forgotten how to draw a smile, and the
eyes… striking in their haunted gaze.
The river stretches quiet below his toes, deep and thick with
bottom that no feet can reach. He doesn't look down, he stares
ahead , lost to the world, swept aside by the tide of the
But we both know what shall take place. We both know and it can't
It looks like it is too late.
So before I take off like I always do, I stand still, a different
atom in this strange atmosphere, and I listen on his
It all starts and ends with a sigh.
God sighed into Adam and he came to life. Mother sighed when the
last push was over and I was born. And I sigh now, but I don't
I am looking at you.
Who are you? what have you done with the one I'd once
Unanswerable questions, I wonder how many times I have
I see the world is increasingly taking after you. There is
something dreadfully wrong
The air is tainted with smoke, the water is stale, murky with
sneaky poison, your features are changing grotesquely and you are
ugly like a nightmare from realty.
Oh, Great Mother, you once upon a time were a lighthouse of
goodness, the beams of light that no body could put out, the one
component that gave everything else
Oh, time is treacherous, it feels like it never
I witnessed your rises and your falls. At your core I choose no
where else to go.
What is it that altered you?
Do you now feel old? Do you now feel the weight of
Are you about to buckle under this burden?
Do you know who am I? Do you remember my face?… or have you
The years I broke my bones building you
The times when I suffered to hold the columns of your greatness
The centuries I bowed my head in respect, always loving you
even when you shut the arms of comfort in my
And when you stepped on my spines to reach for the stars,
spilled my blood to mark your
Who was there for you, Great Mother?
Don't turn the other cheek! How dare you deny
It is me!!
I made you… I charted your plan on the desert sands. It was with
the sweat of my brow that it became green. I constructed your
cities, brick by brick… Taking pain and insults for the sake to
see you great.
And I loved you.
From your short nights to the hard sun…
From your soil and dazzling gold…
From your floods to reemerging of life…
While your bones rusted and as I scuffed them
Your lapses and regeneration of your cells…
Along tunnels of darkness with ends of blinding
I may not know the
reasons for my many questions, so I won't ask you why or press
you to recall what happened.
Because now as I stand
on the cliff of mortality and take a look around you, knowing
that you're mirroring so much that is happening beyond you I know
that it is no longer a matter of what or
It is a question of
A moment, a drastic
detour, another sigh, but I am sure that it is the truth beneath
the mask of lies.
It all happened when
your eyes were blindfolded, and gave in to the resistance of the
when you like the way
you held the sword of power and went around acting like a
when you lied and said
"I am doing it for others"
when you thought you
were here to stay
when you shed my skin
and looked down on me
when you turned your
back and put on strange ropes, built towers and dams, believing
when you held a gun
against a poor soul… and when my trees were bared and you did
One fallacy after the
And when you walked
down the road of forgetfulness…
You've forgotten who
you are, what you were of
You've forgotten the
beauty the beauty I still see in you
You've forgotten that
you were people who once worshiped this river and lived on hopes
to see the dawn spead its rays over this
You've forgotten that
you knew how to love, and were in harmony with all
You've forgotten what I
am to you and took the turn of sorrow with no
Who are you? I hear you
Well, I am life and now
you seem to be losing that too.
Then he took the plunge, closing his
eyes in surrender to the inevitable. A fall as silent as the fall
of tears in this vast emptiness.
What a tragedy!
Other winds catch at me, trying to
carry me along, but I am adamant. I want to stay. Even though I am
but air, I cannot be contained.
I cannot be tamed.
And maybe, just maybe I will grab the peasant in time.
Maybe I will heave a sigh of freshness into this messed-up
My tears dried and I glided forward, certain that rotting in
place is like the impact of whip on naked flesh… hopeful that
this death would spring a new life.