Didn't take too long 'fore I found out,
What people mean by down and out.
Spent my money, took my car
Started telling her friends she gon' be a star.
I don't know, but I been told
A big-legged woman ain't got no soul.
All I ask for, all I pray
Steady rolling woman gonna come my way.
Need a woman gonna hold my hand
Won't tell me no lies
Make me a happy man.
----Led Zeppelin----Black Dog
On the cobblestone streets of London he stumbled. It was foggy,
but not so foggy as his mind. His clothes were tattered and so
was his heart. Lord Louie was short on hope. Lady Jane
Northumberland, lady in waiting to the Queen, had turned him down
flat. His proposal of marriage had failed to fly just like a led
zeppelin. So now after nights of gaming and whoring he stood
dissipated, lonely and forlorn, trying to remember his opium
dream from the night before.
He remembered the black dog. That and a sparkling golden stream.
What was it? Was it about the money? The money he squandered at
the races at Ascot? The thousands of pounds sterling he'd lost at
cards? The black dog was repaying him. That was it! A sparkling
stream of gold sovereigns tumbling down about his feet. It was a
He straighten his tie and his collar, rubbed his boots against
the back of his pants, took a breath and headed into the west end
in search of the dog.
After passing the flower sellers and buskers outside of the
National Theatre, he spotted it. It was a Labrador, all black and
friendly. A man and a Gentleman's best friend! It saw him at once
and came over.
It sniffed him and smiled a doggie smile. He fondly patted him on
his head. He noticed the collar around his neck. This dog of
fortune was no stray! The collar was fine English leather, the
tag was of silver. He must be lost, or jumped out of some fine
carriage. That was it.
This dog would bring him good fortune no doubt!
He peered down the street and noticed a black carriage with a
coat of arms on the door but it couldn't be read at that angle.
As he was looking he noticed something odd, not a thought but a
feeling. A warm sort of feeling on his leg. A warm sort of wet
feeling. You've got it!
The dog was peeing on Lord Louie's leg!
Out damn spot!
The carriage door opened. A fine delicate gloved hand appeared
and beckoned with a crook of a most feminine finger. Now the coat
of arms could be read. It was the house of Northumberland.
Lucky Lord Louie has a sudden reversal of fortune. He also
obtains a wet leg.
Even a lady in waiting can change her mind.