My mother and I, we enter the new man's territory. He glides in, us behind him, pushes his two girls towards me, forced grins all around. Two pairs of eyes glued on me, I want to ask why. Behave they say and leave, and now we are the only ones left. Left to bond. I ask the girls if we're expected to have a chick flick night with popcorn and nail polish. Their eyes turn on each other for the first time, they share a glance. Every door is shut, all of the blinds down. It's cold. I ask why and one of them says that's the way he likes it to be. I know I won't get anything more out of them.
We do nothing. We watch television. They're huddled and whispering, I am not. I try to start conversation, they do not.
Later in the night they approach me, all eyes, ask what the plan is. I say what plan? They say, what will they do when they get back? I tell them that the new man, their man, will drive my mother and I back to our home, new territory for him. They ask when he will come back. I think, what weak girls. One of them older than myself and needs to know when daddy will be home. I tell them late because that is what she told me. They exchange another glance. They slink back, whisper, one looks at me. The bolder of the two. Eyes wide, afraid, warning. I'm about to ask why, frowning, when the door opens and they are back. I look back at the girls and both of them are looking at me in that way. The smaller one floats a shaking hand towards my own like she'll take it in hers, but she stops before she touches mine, her hand suspended, then she lets it drop to her side. The girls tell me goodnight, eyes intent, and retreat down the hallway, entering the same room. Quiet.
The man drives slowly, carefully. Mother smells sweet, her eyes drooping, her smile getting wilder every time. Looking back, stupid face. I don't like my mother impaired. The man does. He puts his hand around her neck, he smiles back at her. He smells the same but has no effect.
In new territory for him. Go on mother says. Lights are dim, candles are lit. Wine is opened. I go up a level, brush and wash and change and lay in my bed, warm, cozy. All I hear is soft music and quiet chuckles.
I see those girls coming towards me, eyes bigger than their head. They shriek, squeal. Their fingernails rip my skin and they pull my limbs from my body. I open my eyes, darkness. I am stuck to my bed, can't move. Heavy breathing, my limbs are attached. I feel the pain that was absent from my dream. I feel the reality. I feel what they feel. My breathing is muffled, my face hot. I feel fingers and throbbing and scratches. My eyes won't adjust, all I see is darkness. I smell that sweetness. I smell the perfume my mother wore tonight. I am cold but my face is hot with my breath. I hear wind. I never open my window. This must be the new man's territory. Tears stream down my face for those girls. I see their eyes full of fear and warning. I understand them and feel the chills they must get in their home. I cry, knowing why they would. Their fear and pain is in me and it hurts. It bruises me, smothers me, crushes my chest.
Then it abruptly stops. I feel nothing for a moment. My bed shifts. I hear my bedroom door open. I push the covers from my face, search for my door with my eyes that were covered. I look at their fear and their fear looks at me. He leaves my room and shuts the door. The man is fulfilled, satisfied, done with me. I hear wind.