Ah, it was a good day. I felt relaxed, calm and peaceful. No one to nag me or to order me about not to this or do that. I was the master of my destiny. I could wake up when I wanted, eat what I wanted, do whatever came to my mind and much more. Of course that’s not possible when my wife Susie is around. You see she is the type of woman who likes to control and order about people. And that was exactly how my mother was with my day. Women! They are happy creatures till you do as they tell you. As soon you deviate, you are under their radar scanner. And they are listing all the glitches within your personality without realizing their own.
Women always like to be reminded by their husbands that they are looking pretty. It is imperative to remember their birthday and the anniversary date as well. They are always looking forward to the day when their husbands get paid. And they always seem to have a lot of things that they want to do especially when it comes to shopping. They want to buy new shoes, handbags, clothes, cosmetics, jewellery and the list goes on and on. Many of them are not keen to save. No! Life is short and as we are living in a world full of materialism, we want to pile in all those goods that make us look stylish, fashionable and modern.
Susie doesn’t like it when I buy things. No, I am wasting money when I buy something. However when it comes to her, she suggests that the things buy are what she needs. What about my needs, I say to her and she has no answers.
It is strange how women behave. One moment they are all smiles and the next they can be so critical of you. Typical clichés used by Susie include “I wish you could lose weight”,“ I wish you didn’t drink tea that much” and “ I wish you earned a lot of money”. Women are so focused about material possessions and looking good. And men like me just want good sex once in a while. But with Susie, even the sex looks to a crime. I am at times imploring her and she is pulling up excuses such as
“I got menses right now, some other time” or “I got a serious headache honey, not tonight”. And when you do have sex, she’s praying that she gets pregnant. There are times when she is so passive during the sex, that it’s as if you are making love with a sex doll.
Her favorite activity is shopping and mine is sleeping. I try to avoid going out shopping with her for she loves window shopping. Quite often, when she steps into a departmental store, she spends hours browsing through various goods and noting their prices. She had this compulsive habit of buying expensive cutlery and collecting mugs and various decoration items. And though I have tried hard to drive some sense into her obsession with these things, she always reprimands me. I try to reason with her that we barely have guests at our place; therefore collecting such stuff is a waste of money. On many an occasion we have had our rounded of heated arguments on this before I decided that to bring peace to my life, I would let her have it her way.
Another particular obsession of hers is with looking super beautiful. She has had her hair dyed in so many different colors that they have not become rather weak and sparse. Her weekdays are often spent attending coffee and tea parties or at the beauty and massage parlors. On other days, she goes often down to the beach to have a sun tan or to swim. And that’s how she keeps herself busy.
As for me, I often come home late from work. Sometimes at six in the evening and at other times at eight in the night. I often find Susie reclining in one of the leather recliners that lye in the lounge watching those soaps on television that seem to run almost forever. Most of the times she would have a big packet of Doritos or chips at her side. At the start, she suspected that I was seeing someone else but luckily her suspicions were alleviated after sometime.
Quite often when I reach home, she has my dinner ready for me. However she is the sort who always likes going out somewhere. It could be to the mall, to a restaurant, to a disco or even to the movies. And though I am often quite stressed out, she has all her night mapped out. There have been several altercations and pitched battles on this matter. And the meanest thing Susie had done as punishment has been to deny me sex for a whole month. On another occasion, she used her shoe to good effect for clobbering me. Who says women are gentle creatures? They can become quite selfish and mean if they want to.
The only recreation and outlet for escape is in the form of one of my friends who is still a bachelor. No he is not queer ! It’s just he doesn’t want the responsibility of caring for someone. His sole companions at his apartment are his Persian Cats. They are two of them for that matter and they are his kith and kin. I have often asked Sam why he is so averse to marriage and he said that if one can cohabitate why go through with the marriage. It is something which I don’t agree with but Sam is entitled to his perspective and views. Whenever I have trouble with my wife, I make my way to Sam’s apartment which is quite nearby. And he always chuckles and says “I told you marriage sucks”. The solace and peace that I get over at his place are overwhelming. Listening to that soft music and smoking weed often soothes my nerves after a battering at the hands of my wife. I have had the honor of meeting his live in partner namely Pamela. She’s a beautiful young woman from Brazil. Not only is she sweet and sexy but very charming.
After ten years of marriage to a woman, I have realized that men are often fascinated by beauty. But staring at women or talking to one when you are married is difficult. Marriage is a legal noose set on the man and woman to prevent them from adulterous relationships. However with so many nice women dressed up in loose and skimpy dresses, it is hard to resist the temptation of befriending them. Not that I have ever ventured to do something like that but at times, seeing the same person again and again or waking up with them becomes a dull and mundane routine.
If it were upto me, I would take a week off living with my wife during each month. Believe me the quiet, peace, solace and tranquility that come from not seeing an anxious and moody person each day, or having to bear and tolerate their constant and persistent nagging has far reaching impact your mind and body. You feel free. The freedom makes your heart joyous and the mind becomes free of a heavy responsibility. That’s how felt when Susie left to spend a week with her parents. For some reason, I was joyous and hyperactive. It seemed as if my youth had been returned to me. I was singing and prancing about for the first time in quite some-time.
My colleagues at work noticed my happiness and some of them hit the nail on the button by asking me if my wife had gone somewhere. However as the week progressed, being alone at the house started boring me. I called her up five days after she had left. And she had asked me in her typical nasal tone, “Why has it taken you so long to call me? Don’t you miss me ?”
“ I do, that’s why I have called you” I replied.
“Ah well, I will be coming tomorrow honey” she said.
So she was coming back. And I was looking forward to it. It’s strange how I missed her even though she could be so trying at times. Perhaps we humans are really thankless about what we have in life.