Jamie and Ted
Jamie and Ted had been together for three months. It was a nightclub romance. Introduced by mutual friends, they liked each other immediately. He'd never met a girl called Jamie, the only man she'd ever known named Ted was her Grandfather. They had talked until past midnight, he worked in a warehouse, she was a hair dresser, and they had both been single for a month. They went back to his flat and had sex, it was a nice release. His dick was bigger than her last boyfriends.
The next morning he was still being nice to her, he brought her toast and coffee on a tray. She sat up in bed eating it, wearing one of t-shirts and they talked about growing up and growing old and saving money and how winter had been too cold. They wanted the same things in life and knew how to get them. They had sex again before he took her home and by the time he dropped her off at her door she was in love with him.
The weeks passed with dinner and movies, picnic lunches in the country and afternoon tea in up market city cafes. She started to keep clothes at his place and he began looking for a ring. It was time to meet the parents. At her parents' home, over a meal of cold meat and salad, his intentions were made clear and approved of, as were his good looks and his four years service in the army. Jamie and Ted held hands under the table and washed the dishes together. The whole afternoon went well and she was so happy, life was moving like a whirlwind and it was exciting, but there was still one important meeting to go.
Jamie spent hours going through her wardrobe searching for the right thing to wear; she wanted to look appealing, but not provocative. Ted's mother had died when he was only five and his father had lived alone since then. It was obvious that Ted had a strong bond with his father and that they were more like mates than Father and Son. She wanted to make a good impression, but she'd heard some rather unsavory things from some of Ted's mates. She was nervous, but she knew that she had to keep an open mind. She chose her black slacks and a light blue shirt. She tied her hair up, she looked nice, perhaps a little too much like a police woman, but she felt right.
'Dad can't wait to meet you,' Ted told her when he picked her up. She didn't know what to say, she just smiled. 'Dad and Eliza never really hit it off,' said Ted of his last girlfriend; it almost sounded like a warning. Jamie had a strange feeling inside of her, like she didn't want to be going there. She calmed herself with the fact that most married couples had little to do with the man's parents, but the uneasiness would not go away. The suburbs slipped by unnoticed as Jamie tried to picture what Ted's last girlfriend had been like.
'Here we are,' Ted announced, after they had been in the car for almost an hour. They were in a country town, so small that if you blinked you'd miss it. They were parked out the front of a fibro house where the grass was so long that anything could have been hiding in it. A couple of windows had chipboard where there should have been glass. Ted noticed Jamie's look of shock and laughed. 'Dad's never been much of a gardener, or a handyman for that matter.' Jamie could see that Ted was past being ashamed of how his Father lived. She laughed nervously.
Ted opened the door without knocking; a scruffy black dog shot out and relieved itself against the wheel of their car. Jamie followed Ted down the hallway; the carpet was so threadbare that she couldn't tell if it had once had a pattern or if it was just stained beyond belief. Indefinable smells combined with ones that she knew quite well insulted her nostrils. Peering into the rooms as she past, she saw that the inside of the house was worse than the outside. She thought of how her mother had cleaned like a madwoman before Ted had visited and let out a huge sigh. She had already decided that her kids would not be ever left alone in this place. 'Where are you Dad,' Ted called out.
'Down here mate, in the kitchen,' came a croaking reply, as if a frog from the bog had suddenly been given the gift of speech.
'Come on,' Ted said excitedly and grabbing her hand moving quickly towards the back of the house.
After the rest of the house, the kitchen was pretty much as Jamie expected, only worse. The rubbish bin was overflowing onto the floor, there was dishes in the sink that looked as if they had been there for years, there were stains all over the walls and floor, to say the place needed a bloody good clean was putting it lightly. Then there was Ted's father. It was immediately obvious that Ted had got his looks from his mother, his Father was disgustingly awful. Jamie tried hard to hide her shock at the sight of this obese man, standing there in shorts and a singlet, both filthy and too small for him. He had several days' growth on his face and from the smell of him several days ago was when he last washed. His long greasy grey hair was carelessly combed over his bald patch. However despite it all, the worst thing was his eyes, which were bright green like those of a cat and they leered from side to side constantly.
'How are going mate,' Ted's Father asked, furiously pumping Ted's hand with his own that only seconds earlier had given his ball a vigorous scratch.
'Yeah alright Dad, this is Jamie,' Ted replied, pushing her forward. She didn't extend her hand, so the old man reached over and pulled her in for a bear hug, causing her to realize that her assumption that he had not washed in a week was completely true. The embrace lasted well past Jamie's comfort zone before she was realized, but not before he planted a big wet kiss, which smelt of old cheese and beer, smack on her lips.
'How are going love,' the father asked Jamie. She actually felt quite sick, and unable to speak from shock, so she nodded. 'Jeez, you've picked a goer there mate,' the Father said to Ted, with his eyes leering all over Jamie and the two of them laughed uproariously. Jamie looked at Ted with daggers as three dirty glasses and three bottles of beer were set down on the sticky table in front of them. 'Let's have a drink and celebrate,' urged the father with another cackling laugh.
The first and second bottles disappeared quickly and were replaced with two more. Jamie drank the beer to feel comfortable in an environment she thought degrading, for a while it worked. She wasn't included in the conversation, but she didn't want to be. Ted and his father spoke about cars, fights and women. Their language was course and Jamie began to wonder if Ted remembered that she was there. A foot touched her calf and slid down the rest of her leg. She glared at Ted and kicked him sharply with the toe of her shoe. Ted kept talking unaffected, it was his father who gasped in pain, and Jamie panicked. 'Where's the toilet,' she blurted out.
'I'll show you, gone through you like a sieve has it love,' said the Father, his green eyes leering more than ever. Jamie hit Ted and glared at him, as if to say you show me the way, but Ted ignored her. The Father stood up and led her to the toilet and Jamie, not knowing why she did, followed him. 'Here it is,' he told her, pushing open the door to the cubicle which was as dark as a dungeon and ten times as filthy. Jamie stepped in and as she did, felt the unmistakable tweak of a thumb and forefinger on her bottom, right near her bum crack. She turned around angrily to face the Father, and he was grinning, his eyes unnaturally green, if she'd dared to look down she felt sure he would have been playing with himself. She slammed the door in his face and slumped down onto the toilet seat forgetting how filthy it was. She felt like crying, how could this be happening to her.
The Father's footsteps died away as he headed back to the kitchen, her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the toilet and she saw that there were literally hundreds of cut out pictures on the toilet walls. Women in various states of undress, some of them could have been classed as pornographic. To add insult to injury there was a turd in the bowl and no toilet paper. Jamie realized that she couldn't stay in that house a minute longer, she flung open the toilet door and ran, down the hallway and out of the house.
She'd been sitting in the car for fifteen minutes when Ted finally came out. He looked angry as he strode towards the car. 'What's going on?' He demanded to know as he opened the car door.
'Your Father grabbed my arse,' she spat.
'What! I think you might have imagined it,' he said. That comment hurt more than anything else. She pulled the door shut. 'You're being rude,' he shouted at her through the window. That was a joke, she thought, her the one being rude, Ted had been rude to her all afternoon. She wound the window down a little.
'Take me home now.'
'What's your problem?'
'He also felt my leg under the table.'
'I'm not listening to this shit,' Ted told her as he stormed back into the house. Jamie considered trying to find her own way home, but Ted came out after a few minutes and they left.
They didn't speak on the way home, when Jamie brought up the pictures that adorned his Father's toilet he told her to shut up. He dropped her off and she went inside and waited all night for him to ring and say he was sorry. He didn't call that night or any other, and after a few weeks Jamie was glad that it was over.