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I Wasn't Only Me. I Was Only Trapped. Now I'm Here

Book By: Abligate Icanthtinkofapenlastname
Memoir



Just me and my old thoughts, when I had issues... I still have them, but I'm alive now, and I'm me


Submitted:Aug 28, 2010    Reads: 71    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   


This is a happy story...

4-28-2010

12am

Being up is lonely.

There is hardly any sound and my thoughts seem like aliens in the silence, coming at me from every direction, telling me what's wrong even when it's not. I hear sounds in my stomach and pictures flash by on my computer screen. The time on my clock seems to go by extra slowly. I cringe at things I've done, though they should bring me pleasure. My mind isolates within me, feelings of inadequacy. My mind isolates me from the world, from my family, my friends, my success, my potential. My mind will make me believe it's really all just my body, all my issues will be solved the day I'm content in it. Somewhere distant I know this isn't true. I know that what i need is mental stability, to get where I want to be physically, socially...

Time goes by and the huge pressure of the silence seems to want to burst through my ears.

I'm cold and I'm gripping my journal as if it's precious, as if it's my life...it's not.

Claire...

I'm cold and I'm alone. My dreams seem like only that, not anything achievable anymore even though I know deep within me is potential. I know

Self fullfilling proficy

12:12am





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