"Cause I miss you, body and soul. So strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and soul and pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right. And though I can't be with you tonight
you know my heart is by your side..."
--If your not the One by Daniel Bedingfeild
When will this part of my life end? When will I stop losing the ones I love? Yes, I understand that's life. We are all going to lose people we love, fight with them, but when is it ever enough? When are people going to realize that even though its easy to walk away from a situation the problem is still unresolved. Its always going to be there no matter how long time passes by...Came to a point today when I had to start thinking like this; I have no control of whats to come. Its not my job to change people, that's God's job. They and they alone are the ones who make the decition to want the change.
Whether or not I get the ansawers I need, the apoloiges, or the forgiveness I'm seeking I still have to keep moving forward. Having faith that no matter how painfully slow this part of my life is going that will will end. What else is there for me to lose that i haven't already loss? Maybe the reason why this part is moving so slow is because I'm not learning something God want's me to learn. Then the next question will now be; What is it that you want me to learn God? You already tought me how to humble myself, that apoloiges aren't for the weak, and how to let people go, so what else am I to learn? Again, so many questions never enough answers or really never the right timing. Timing is everything you know?
Sometimes having hope or believing in a simple thought or dream isn't as pointless as many people may think it is. For example, I have the simple hope that even though I can't change my family, they will one day accept me for who I am and the changes I've made in my life to become a better person. They might have walked away and cut all contact with me but I shockenly still love them. I have faith that one day no matter how long it takes they will find themselves like I've found myself or still am. This entry isn't going to be very long as you can tell but I will end with this.
Even if some of us are abandoned by the people we love and had to let go or forced to let go of the ones we love, remember in time things will be unfolded or answers will be brought out. Don't be so quick to look away and leave situations unsolved or lable yourself as the 'Forgotten' cause your not forgotten, just underappreciated. And even though I may not know your situation and you may not know fully about mine, don't lose that hope or faith that everything will be okay one day. Just don't give, no matter how hard it gets. And never over look the people who love you and care for you. I'm telling you this because in a way I'm tellimg myself this as well.