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Chapter 11 Part 4

Book By: Nina Simone
Memoir



Take a look into the life of Lourdes. A fun, sexy, party planning chef, just shy of turning thirty, with a complicated side...


Submitted:Aug 15, 2010    Reads: 196    Comments: 41    Likes: 40   


Sin City was packed to the rafters and a soapy mess. Lourdes had no intention of stripping down to her undies and dancing cheek to cheek with anybody. She saw the boys off and made her way back out of the club to the cold night air. She walked around the side of the club, to the alley way, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up.
She looked around quickly, surveying her surroundings. Boys making out everywhere, and well...doing more than making out. She went back to her smoke. Albear's classic mustang was parked in the alley like usual.
"What are you doing out here all by your lonesome?"
Lourdes looked up. Albear took the cigi out of her hand and had a drag. His brown hair was tousled to the side and his lips and cheeks were pink and rosy.
"Where'd you come from?" She asked.
A guy walked by, giving Albear and Lourdes the eye. Albear looked at her smiling and zipped up his black jeans.
"Never mind." Lourdes said shaking her head. "Nice leather jacket, Hugo Boss?"
"Young Troy was attending to my cock, when I saw you and the guys walk up," he said ignoring her fashion comment, "so I shot my load and came right over."
"Thanks for sharing." Lourdes said taking back her cigi. "You know, Lita was pretty freaked out by what she saw earlier today."
"I don't give a fuck what the bitches you bring by my pad thinks." He said taking the smoke back.
"Correction," Lourdes said, "just one bitch, and you could have warned us."
"Hey you came to see me!" He said. "I do whomever I want, whenever I want, and where ever I want."
"You don't have to remind me." Lourdes said. "No guilt, no apologies."
He leaned in her face and kissed her on the cheek. "It's the only way to live."
Lourdes rolled her eyes.
"So this Lita chick," he paused for effect, "what's up with her?"
"Nothing." Lourdes muttered. "I like her."
"Yeah, I can see that." Albear said. "Haven't seen you for weeks, been spending all your time with her-"
"It hasn't been weeks and I never said that."
"So maybe you've been devoting some of your time to the new prime aged cock in your life-"
"Fuck off."
"Hey no judgment." He put both of his hands in the air. "The older ones don't cum as quick-"
"Alright, next subject!" Lourdes ran her hand through her hair.
"Plus I like a dick with experience as much as the next girl." He teased. "I always say, and man who's been around the block, always knows how to use his cock."
"Oh, you have no idea." Lourdes smiled.
"Really?" Albear asked intrigued, nudging her with his shoulder.
"But that's another story." She said changing the subject.
"Yeah I bet." Albear said still looking intrigued. "Alright, so you're having fun with your older gent, but Lita, she's pretty hot too." He was working up to some point, Lourdes hoped he was off the subject. "Where did you say you found her again?"
Lourdes smirked. "She's in my top A, I bagged her off of My Space."
"You're so fucking full of shit!" He laughed. Lourdes laughed too. "You've never been on My Space a day in your life. But that's why I love you!"
Lourdes nodded her head smiling.
"So did you fuck her yet?" He asked seriously.
"What!?" She said completely off guard. "What are you talking about!" Lourdes exclaimed.
Albear looked at her all knowingly, but held back for a moment. "Is she who you've been spending all your time with, now that you're on the rebound?"
"I'm not on the rebound! I have Gabriel."
"Yeah right!" Albear snorted. "Gabriel."
"Weren't you going inside the club?" Lourdes asked dismissing him.
"Okay, if you're this bitchy then I'm going to guess that you haven't hooked up with her. What happened, is she holding out on you?"
"What? W-we....we're not having sex and nothing like that's ever going to happen!"
Albear leaned close to her face. "Bullshit." He said. "Why are you so upset? Why are you overreacting? I saw the way she looked at you when I put my arm around you earlier. All kind of thoughts were flying through that pretty little head of hers."
"Oh,,,,let's just leave it alone." Lourdes sighed "I have enough problems."
"What happened? No chemistry?"
"Albear, I don't want to talk about it!"
"Jeez what the fucks your problem!" Albear asked. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say your in desperate need of getting laid."
"Oh fuck off Albear." Lourdes said beginning to walk away. "Is that your answer to everything?"
"Wait," he said grabbing her hand, and pulling her back to him, "oh fuck me, that's it. You saw him!"
"I gotta go." Lourdes said turning back, but Albear wouldn't let go of her hand.
"Go where?" He said. "Where the fuck you gonna go? It's too late for the train to get you to the other side."
"I'll take a cab." Lourdes said prying free and walking away.
"No way." He said jogging up to her and pulling her back. "That's forty bucks that you know you don't want to spend. I'll give you a ride. And I want all the details!"



Lourdes opened Albear's car door. She turned to him before she got out. "Tell me this is crazy." She said.
"It's crazy." He said.
"Insane." She spoke.
"Absolutely insane." He said.
"So what the fuck am I doing here?"
"What the fuck are you doing?" He shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess my stubborn skin is wearing thin."
Albear leaned over and kissed her softly, then he pulled back. "We don't need to go over this again," he said, "you know how it is when you want cock, all your rules and values go out the window."
"Right." Lourdes said frowning up at Alby, but nodding her head. That wasn't the only reason why she was here. But it was the only reason that mattered to Albear.
"So shit or get off the pot." He said.
"God I hate that saying." Lourdes said rolling her eyes and getting out of the car. Albear was still laughing as she slammed the door shut. She turned and pressed in the security code at the gate. It immediately began to open.
"Hey!" Albear called out to her as he rolled down the car window.
Lourdes turned around.
"You'll be fine." He said. "Just remember who you are."
"Who am I?" She asked.
Albear smiled at her.
Lourdes sighed. "I just feel so very...so completely...."
"Spit it out." Albear said.
Lourdes shook her head. "I just don't remember...how I let myself become so unraveled."
Albear nodded his head, understanding what she meant completely.
Lourdes shrugged her shoulders. "Don't you want to judge me? Just a little?"
Albear shook his head. "Are you happy?" He asked.
Lourdes got a sick feeling of deja vu. She said nothing.
Albear blew her a kiss, then rolled up the window and sped away from the curb.
"Right." She muttered to herself. "No guilt, no apologies." Lourdes turned and walked up the driveway slowly as the gate re-closed behind her. She reached the doors, still having no idea what she was going to say. She lifted her hand and pressed the doorbell. "Breathe." She said to herself. "Just breathe."
She stood outside for what seemed like forever, when the door suddenly opened.
Alexsander stood there with nothing on, but a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was still perfectly in place. He hadn't made it to the shower yet. Lourdes looked him up and down, this was going to be harder than she thought. What was she thinking? She needed to focus. "I came at a bad time." She said.
Alex shook his head no. He grabbed her hand and pulled her inside.
"I just thought maybe we could talk." She said.
"At 1am?" He asked.
Lourdes shrugged her shoulders. "If I don't do this now...."
He nodded his head. "Come in." He said, leading her past the second set of doors. They went and sat in front of his fireplace. Lourdes was already nervous enough, and with his towel being the only thing between the two of them, she couldn't focus at all.
"So what are you doing here?" He asked.
"I don't know." Lourdes said shaking her head and looking down at her hands. "I just thought....enough is enough. Maybe I could give talking to you another try." She looked up at him. "Work it all out this lifetime, you know?"
He put his hand on hers. Lourdes couldn't look at him when she spoke. "I'm dying inside, I can't stand this. This thing that I feel for you, I can't take this madness."
"That's why I couldn't understand, how you could act like what we had wasn't anything at all." He said.
She looked at him.
"It made me so mad, cause I wanted it so bad for us. You said let go," he continued, "but I kept on hanging on. Even though I knew you wanted it to be over."
"And you were gone." Lourdes said.
He slid closer to her. His towel was starting to come undone. Lourdes looked away trying to control herself.
"But every moment I was gone, it killed me, because I knew there was nothing that I could do." He put the tip of his fingers on her chin and tilted her face towards him. "But I still want to be with you."
Lourdes parted her lips slightly, but remained silent.
"And I kept on telling myself, that you'd come back around." He said taking his hand off her face and turning away slightly. "But obviously your silence was the biggest sound."
Lourdes continued to say nothing, but he was piercing through her armor.
"You see, I can't get over you now, no matter what I do." He turned back to face her, looking at her intensely with those eyes. "I still want to be with you."
"Why can't I stay mad at you?" She said more to herself, than him. "What is it about you that makes me so unraveled?"
"It's only you," he said, "that makes me, feel like getting, so completely...naked. More out of control than ever-"
Lourdes leaned over and kissed him. And just like that, it was on. Alex kissed her back, pushing her down with his body on the sofa. The world was falling away and she didn't care about consequences anymore. He unbuttoned her coat and pulled it off of her, tossing it to the floor. Lourdes hardly noticed as she pulled him back on top of her and continued to kiss him. This was probably the worst decision ever, but she could give a fuck. She wanted him.
"Let's go to my room." Alex whispered in her ear.
"Just do me right here." She kissed him.
"Hello?!"
Lourdes jerked up, slightly pushing him up.
"What?" He asked.
"Did you hear something?" She asked.
"What?" He said again.
"I thought I heard something." Lourdes pushed him off of her.
"Hello!" A woman's voice was calling from far away.
"Oh shit." Alex said sitting up and putting his head in his hands.
"Who is that?!" Lourdes asked.
"Hello!" The voice was getting closer.
"Oh fuck!" Alex muttered to himself.
They both stood up. Alex re-wrapped the towel around his waist.
"Oh there you are!" Some black chick appeared at the top of his steps. "Are you coming back?" She asked him. Then she noticed Lourdes. "Hi." She said cautiously.
Lourdes stood there shocked for a moment. She looked back and forth between the two of them. She started to feel sick to her stomach. There was something strange about this girl...Same long black hair. Same big brown eyes. Same complexion. Her dress was even, almost identical to the one Lourdes was wearing.
Lourdes turned and looked at Alex.
Standing there.
In his towel.
"Did you..." Her voice broke. "Did you fuck her?" She whispered angrily.
"Lourdes-" He started to say.
Lourdes grabbed her coat off the floor. "I must have been out of my fucking mind!" She screamed, running towards the door.
"No. Lourdes wait!" Alex said coming after her.
Lourdes flung the first door open, but he beat her to the second one.
"You can't leave like this, we have to talk!" He said grabbing her.
"Fuck you Alex!" Lourdes screamed at the top of her lungs, but he wouldn't let go of her.
The other girl came rushing down the stairs trying to make her way past them. "I'm going to go." She said to Alex, but he was too busy struggling with Lourdes.
"I think I should go." She said again stepping outside.
"Then why are you still here bitch?" Lourdes yelled. "Get the fuck out!" Lourdes cocked her fist and lunged at her.
"Hey!" Alex said yanking her back. "Stop!"
But Lourdes managed to twist away from him. The girl turned to run, but it was too late. Lourdes got a fist full of her hair and pulled as hard as she could. The girl kept running as the hair came off in Lourdes' hands.
A wig.
Alex grabbed her. "What the fuck are you doing! If you're going to be mad at somebody be mad at me!" He slammed the front door and dragged her into the house.
Lourdes threw the wig down to the floor and tried to hit him with all her might. He blocked her punch and grabbed her wrist and held them together with both hands, refusing to let her go. Lourdes screamed and struggled, until she was tired. Once she went limp, Alex loosened his grip. "Can I let you go?" He asked. She nodded her head without saying anything.
Alex unclenched her wrists and took a step back. He watched Lourdes as she clutched her arms to her chest and gently rubbed her wrist.
"Now," he said, "I'm going to get dressed, and come back down, and we're going to behave like two civilized adults."
Lourdes glared at him as he turned and walked away...



She could only stand still a total of two minutes before she was upstairs heading towards his bedroom. Lourdes stood in the doorway of the master bedroom looking around. The bed was still made, but that didn't mean anything for sure.
Lourdes could see his shadow moving around the bathroom inside the bedroom. She stepped back into the hallway and leaned against the wall. Alex came gliding out the room in jeans and a t-shirt and stopped in his tracks when he saw her. Lourdes turned her head and looked at him.
"Come in." He said reaching for her hand to pull her into the room. "Let's have a drink."
Lourdes moved her hand before he could grab it, but she followed him into the room.
Alex walked over to the mini tray of alcohol, picked up the whiskey and started pouring. "Ice?" He asked.
"I doubt I need it." She said.
He handed her the drink with the glass filled halfway up. Lourdes took it and drunk it down and handed it back to him. He looked at her surprised. He took a big gulp of his drink and set it down. "Want another?" He asked.
She shook her head no. It was burning all the way down, from her throat to her chest, and down to her stomach.
"Alright." He said. "Ask me."
Lourdes didn't hesitate. "Did you fuck that girl?"
"No." He said.
"But you were going to?"
"Yes."
"Thanks," she said, "that's all I needed to know." Lourdes turned and walked away. Alex came after her. "Don't walk away from me." He said. "Stay and finish this."
Lourdes spun around. "Who was she?"
Alex shoved his hands into his jean pockets. "Nobody." He said softly.
"Where'd you meet her?"
He looked down at the floor.
"At the bar?"
"No." He said shaking her head.
"So you picked her up somewhere else?"
"Kind of." He said.
"Kind of?" She asked shaking her head.
Alex stared back down at the floor.
"Oh my..." Lourdes trialed off. "Oh my god, is she a..."
Alex looked up at her.
Lourdes turned around and stormed off, but he was at her heels. He grabbed her by her shoulders and turned her to face him.
"Okay, I get it." He said.
"You do?"
"Lourdes, don't freak out."
"Don't freak out?"
"I know you." He said.
"You do?"
"And your eyes are going wild as we speak."
"They are?"
"Lourdes stop it!" He said shaking her.
Lourdes jerked away from him. She leaned back against the wall. Alex turned around, walking a few steps away from her, running his fingers through his hair. He turned back to face her. "Just say something." He said.
"What would you have me say?"
"I don't know. Anything!"
Lourdes shook her head.
"Don't do that!" He said. "Yell at me, tell me to fuck off, but don't go silent on me!"
Lourdes took a deep breath, then finally spoke. "You would have fucked that whore all night if I hadn't showed up."
"Yes." He said.
Lourdes pushed herself off the wall enraged. "Do you know how twisted and fucked up that is!" She started walking away again.
"Why?" He said following her. "What did I do that was so wrong! You weren't here!"
Lourdes spun back around at the top of the steps. "She looks just like me!" She screamed.
"I know that!" He yelled back. "That's what I asked for!"
Lourdes stood back stunned. She was so wrapped up in how she felt, she wasn't looking at the other side of things. "And, why would you do that?" She asked confused.
Alex scoffed tossing his hands in the air. "You're smart. Figure it out!"
"You saw...that things weren't going to work out between us tonight....so you went and ordered a prostitute, that looks just like me, off a menu, to make yourself feel better?"
Alex stood there rocking back and forth on his heels, saying nothing.
Lourdes went and sat at the top of the steps. "I don't know if I should be flattered or disgusted."
Alex came and sat down next to her. "Hopefully the latter." He said.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She asked.
"I had a rough couple of days," he said, "I was nursing my wounds."
"And this was your solution?"
"Haven't you ever slept with somebody else because you couldn't have the person you were aching for?" He asked.
"No!"
"Don't take your time and think about it, or anything." He said sarcastically.
Lourdes stood up and went down the stairs. "That's so fucking unacceptable." She muttered to herself.
Alex stood up and walked down after her. "Completely unacceptable." She was still muttering to herself.
"I just wanted to be with you." He said.
"That wasn't me!"
"Well it was the closet that I was going to get."
"Do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth?" Lourdes asked in disbelief.
"How can you treat me so coldly, when Gabriel does the same thing and you let him get away with murder?" He spat out.
"Oh what are you talking about?!" Lourdes asked turning away from him.
"Him and Stacy." Alex said flatly.
"Bullshit." Lourdes turned back to him, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Don't tell me you don't see it. Stacy's been working very hard to shine the light in your eyes."
"Whatever." Lourdes said. "And I'm supposed to trust you of all people?"
"You can trust the fact that I've seen it with my own eyes." He said.
"Your a liar. Your just saying this to hurt me and to absolve yourself."
"No I'm not." He said shaking his head. "I've kept this to myself for weeks. But you might as well know the truth."
"It doesn't matter." Lourdes said.
"How can you say that?" He asked.
"Because Gabe never promised me anything. He never had to. We have always known where we stood with each other."
"And just like that, you've forgiven him." Alex muttered in disbelief. "He's like teflon with you, none of the bad shit he does ever sticks!"
"No, I didn't say that." Lourdes said.
"I still want to keep the promises that I made to you." Alex said. "I want you to still keep the promises that you made to me."
"I never promised you anything." Lourdes said.
"Yes you did." Alex said. "Each time we were in bed together, when you kissed me, when you held me, those were promises."
"No." Lourdes said. "That was just fucking."
"Your a liar." He said. "It was so much more and you know it."
"Then you misunderstood me." She said coldly.
"I called you constantly to say I'm sorry." He said.
"I never listened to one message."
"When you finally did answer, you were unreasonable."
"Yes, because it was over."
"Was over?" He said.
"Is over." She said.
"And tonight at the bar, you made it very clear that you didn't want to be with me."
"Until I came here." She said.
"Yes. Until you came here. But Lourdes, look at it from my point of view. I did make some mistakes, but this whole time you always had a man lined up to replace me. And one little slight to you-"
"Little?!"
"And you get mad and wanna go and erase me?"
"You are unbelievable." Lourdes said.
"Hey, take a look in the mirror!" He yelled.
"Right." She said. "And on that note." She gathered up her things.



"Hey good morning!" Corey leaned over the bed and yelled in Lourdes' ear. His short black hair was gelled perfectly into place. He had on his favorite Superman tee stretched tightly over his swimmers build.
"Hmmm," Lourdes turned over trying to block out the sunlight, "is it morning already?"
"Yes!" Corey said cheerfully.
Albear turned over tossing a pillow at him. "Why the fuck are you here so early?"
"I was hoping we could go out to breakfast, then do the convention!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lourdes mumbled into the pillow.
"Oh come on!" Corey said. "I've been talking about this for weeks!"
"Yes, but I'm sure there is something better that I can be doing with my time." Albear said rubbing his face and sitting up in bed.
"Hey!" Corey said starting to get upset. "I always do everything that you guys want to do, and I never ask you for anything!"
Lourdes sat up also, resting her head on Alby's shoulder, but closing her eyes again. "What happened, did Tyler and Lamont tell you to fuck off?"
"Yeah." Corey muttered. "They said that they wouldn't be caught dead around a bunch of horny geeks and nerds."
Lourdes laughed.
"Corey," Albear said, "that is so pathetic."
"I know, I know." Corey said.
Lourdes dragged herself out of the bed. "I want first shower." She said. "And then Corey, I'd be happy to accompany you to this convention."
Corey's puppy dog eyes lit up and he smiled brightly.
"And so would Alby." She called over her shoulder as she headed to the shower.
Corey jumped on the bed, trying to tickle Albear in his happiness. Albear layed back down tossing the covers over his head.




"Okay guys, I'm glad that you two came with me," Corey said, "but do you have to stick out like sore thumbs?"
"What?" Albear asked, looking himself and Lourdes over.
"This is a convention and you two are dressed like your going to a goddamn fashion show!"
Lourdes laughed. "Hey sorry pal, but I never made it home last night, so take me or leave me."
"What's your excuse?" Corey asked Albear. "Plan on hitting the clubs right after?"
Albear put his arm around Corey's shoulders. "I just wanted everybody to know, that I clearly don't belong here!"
Corey jerked away from him laughing. "Okay, fine, I get it. Thank you for coming!"
"You're so very welcome." Lourdes said.
"So where should we start first?" Corey asked.
"I don't care." Lourdes said. "Your choice."
"Okay well, there's about a hundred comic book displays and..."
"Okay, I take it back." Lourdes said. "I do care, why don't we split up and get back to each other, that way we can cover more territory."
"Sounds great." Corey said. "Here's a pamphlet of everything that's going on here."
Lourdes looked over the pamphlet quickly. She wasn't interested in comics or toys at all, but... "Oh shit." She whispered.
"What?" Corey and Albear asked.
"It's nothing. I just didn't know that there would be so many celebrities at this convention."
Albear took the pamphlet out of her hand, getting her meaning right away.
"Well, yeah." Corey said. "Any and everybody will be here, promoting their shows, signing autographs, there's even an interview panel of cast and crew members."
"And what do you know," Alby added holding the pamphlet up, "a certain somebody is listed with his peers and cast mates to make an appearance."
"Maybe this wasn't a good idea." Lourdes said.
"Oh no." Alby said. "This is the best idea Corey has had all year."
"Hey!" Corey said.
Albear continued. "We are going to have sooo much fun."
"I was afraid that you'd say that." Lourdes said holding her hand to her head, as Albear looped his arm around both of theirs and pulled them inside..








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