Lourdes made her way to the back of the auditorium. She
managed to ditch Corey and Alby in the crowd of people at the
very beginning. They had been sending each other random text
messages all morning, letting them know each others whereabouts.
Lourdes of course, gave them phony locations. And if they were
smart, they already knew she was lying. And to be honest, who was
she kidding, if there was a possibility that she could get a
glimpse of Alex, without him knowing that she was there, then she
was going to take it. It took her all of five minutes, to find
the room with the panel interviews and she sat all the way in the
back, so as to not be seen.
She watched Alexsander smile and charm the fans and press
with complete grace and ease, for almost an hour. Despite
everything that happened last night, something had changed in her
and she didn't know what. She felt completely out of
After the press asked their questions, it was time for the
fans to ask theirs. Lourdes tuned out most of the questions asked
and focused on the ones directed at Alex. There was no wrong
answer with him. They loved every word that came out of his
More and more hands were being raised to asked questions, but
there was one particular person that stood
Lourdes squinted, leaning forward in her seat. She was pretty
sure that one of the hands that she saw raised
Albear turned around in the middle of the audience, looking
directly at Lourdes all the way in the back. He smiled at her as
one of the convention workers tapped his hand to let him know he
was next to ask a question. Lourdes bugged her eyes and shook her
head slowly, pleading with him, not to do anything. Alby turned
around waiting for his turn.
fuck are you doing?" Lourdes said under hear breath. Her cell
phone chimed. She pulled her phone out.
Fancy meeting you here, I thought you said
you were on the other side of the
"Fuck you Albear." Lourdes said under her breath jamming her
phone back into her purse. She stood up, getting ready to leave,
she wasn't going to be apart of this. She would kill Alby
It was too late.
"Yes I have a question for the thousand year old, vampire."
Albear's voice boomed.
Lourdes stopped in her tracks and turned around. It was like
watching a car crash, she didn't want to, but she just had to
"I heard your vampires character is actually bi-sexual," Alby
said, "Do you suck much cock in real life?"
"Oh my god!" Lourdes said to herself as she saw Alex
recognize Albear in the crowd. Lourdes kept going, she couldn't
bear to watch any more.
"You're dead meat Albear Sebastian." She mumbled to
A fan tapped her on the shoulder, bringing her out of her
thoughts. Once the auditorium had cleared out, then it was taking
pictures and signing autographs time. Lourdes had regained the
courage to get another glimpse at him. Especially since Albear
was nowhere to be found this time.
"Don't you just love the show!" She said. "I'm completely
obsessed, isn't it the best?"
Lourdes smiled and looked at Alexsander. "The best." She
said. "I'm completely obsessed too."
"What are you going to say when you get up to them?" The girl
asked. "Who do you want to take a picture
Lourdes giggled. "I don't know," she said, "to be honest, I'm
completely starstruck, and I'll be lucky if I can get any words
out at all."
"Me too!" The fan said. "I know just what you
Lourdes smiled again. But what the hell was she doing? This
was insane. She should totally get out of here. "Excuse me." She
said. "I think I need some water."
"What?" The girl asked looking confused. "You'll lose your
place in line and miss your chance!"
"It's okay." Lourdes said. "I'll just come
"Okay." The girl frowned. "Well if you come back before I get
up there, I'll save your place."
"Thanks." Lourdes said. "I appreciate
Lourdes got out of line and started walking away. But what
was the point? She had made it this far. She could either chicken
out and live out the rest of her life in peace
She turned around.
Lourdes walked slowly, smoothing out her labeless dress from
last night and looking down at her black stilettos, wishing her
feet forward to make it to the front of the
She was maybe ten steps away from him and every step was
becoming harder and harder to take. All kind of thoughts were
running through her head. Would he see her? If he did see her,
would he talk to her? Or would he act like he didn't even know
her at all?
He was taking a picture with a fan, oblivious to the fact
that she was only a few feet away. She was getting closer. He was
bending down to talk to the fan as she approached them. Lourdes
stood there only for a second, before she kept going, she didn't
want anybody to think she was cutting the
He hadn't noticed her.
remembered to start breathing. She kept moving, slowly picking up
the pace, when her cell phone chimed loudly. She looked down at
the phone. It was a message from Albear.
Are you still being a stalker? Let's meet
up in an hour, this place is complete
torture...Lourdes smiled sticking her phone back in
her purse. He had no idea what kind of torture she had in store
for him later. She looked up and Alex was staring right at her.
Her heart started pounding. She smiled at him. Then she turned
and continued walking. She was almost to the end of the hallway
when she turned around
He was still watching her.
smiled again, and stood there a moment too long, so he could get
She turned the corner and stood out of view. She leaned
against the wall, trying to figure out her next move. It wouldn't
be a problem for him to excuse himself for a bathroom break, if
he wanted to. If he came after her, then it definitely meant that
he wanted to see her. She figured if he stayed and continued
working, then he was still pissed at her for storming out last
night. She would count to ten and hopefully she could come up
with an answer.
One. Two. Three...
She pushed herself off the wall.
Four. Five. Six....
She got ready to leave.
Seven. Eight. Nine....
Alexsander turned the corner.
Lourdes' mind went blank as she tried to think of what to
Alex walked past her not breaking eye contact. He walked
ahead a few feet more, then opened the door to a private
Lourdes followed slowly. She stopped when she reached the
door. He left it open for her. She lingered in the doorway for a
moment. She glanced around quickly. No one seemed to notice.
Lourdes walked in and closed the door.
It was an empty convention room. Alex stood off to the side,
pacing back and forth. He stopped when he saw
"Nice dress." He said. "Walk of shame?"
"No." Lourdes shook her head. "No time for a change of
"What are you doing here?" He asked. "Did you and your friend
plan that little stunt back there?"
"What stunt?" She asked innocently.
"You weren't inside the panel room?"
"No." She said.
"Where did you go last night?" He asked
"Does it matter?" She said.
"Yes." He nodded his head. "It kind of
"To a friends." Lourdes said coming closer to
"I'm working." He said. "You can't just ambush me like
Lourdes stopped in front of him. "It wasn't intentional." She
spoke softly. "I had no idea that you would be
"Is that a
fact?" He said. "This doesn't seem like your
Lourdes nodded her head. "That's a fact. I didn't even know
that I would be here, until Corey showed up this morning with
"Let me guess, he invited you and
"You got it." She tugged on the bottom of his blazer, then
looked up at him, smiling with her eyes.
"You drive me fucking crazy." He said looking
Lourdes rubbed her hand up and down his shirt. "The feelings
mutual buddy." She smirked.
"I'm not kidding!" He said.
"Be nice," she said smiling and continuing to feel on him,
"if you're sweet, I might even give it to you family
Alex snatched her hand away from his body. "Get away from
me," he said starting to walk away from her, "I don't want any
part of your games."
"Too bad," Lourdes called after him as she leaned back
against the wall, "cause it's a good game."
Lourdes tried to keep herself from smiling. She could be
arrogant too. Generally she didn't think that cockiness and
arrogance was an attractive trait on a woman, but between Alby
and Alex, some of it was bound to rub off. He turned back around
and marched up to her angrily. He stopped right in front of her
ready to spew obscenities, but Lourdes stopped him with her
smile. He was all worked up, but she was on a mission. Generally
he used his powers of seduction on her. Courting her, sweet
talking her, all the letters, all the messages...But she already
knew that he loved it when she pursued him too. And she knew how
to manipulate him as much as he did her. His face was angry, but
his eyes were already telling her something different. He still
wanted this. It wasn't going to take much work to make him be all
over her again.
"Last night you never wanted to lay eyes on me again." He
"I changed my mind." She said running two fingers across her
"You hate me."
"What about all the other bullshit?"
"I can get past it. I already am."
"This is some kind of trick?" He said.
Alex studied her looking confused. "Then tell me
"Why what?" Lourdes asked.
"Tell me why I should believe you?"
Lourdes looked around the room taking a deep breath. Should
she tell the truth? How vulnerable did she want to
"If I wanted to say..." She trailed off. "That I wanted to
see you still...that I wanted to see those eyes one more
time...or have the freedom to call you up whenever I wanted...in
spite of all the damaged we've done..."
He was silent. Not sure how to take her words. "Talk to me."
He said quietly.
"It's not that I don't want to have you in my life, it's
just, I'm the one I need to be true to." Lourdes
He looked as if he was taking in what she was
"I think you know some real bad tricks and you need some
taming. And I gotta let you know, before I completely let you
in... that I'm not looking for you to complete me. But that
doesn't mean, that I don't want to be with
Alex watched her silently, contemplating what to say. "I
don't get it." He said. "What has changed?"
"I don't know," she shook her head and shrugged her
shoulders, "the sunlight, maybe the moon and
"Your having a laugh at me." He smiled.
"I'm not." She protested. "Maybe I'm just finally willing to
let myself feel the feelings that I have. Whether it's right or
"And what are those?" He asked.
She walked into that one. "Right now their undefinable." She
He shook his head. That wasn't good enough for him. "In your
mind, what do you tell yourself that we
Lourdes was quiet for a moment. She sighed softly. "I tell
myself that we are having this great affair. Because it is an
affair Alex. As fucked up as this situation is, I keep thinking,
this how it outta be. And it's so easy to be with you, but how do
I know what you feel for me isn't just from the excitement of
"See that's where we think differently," he said, "because I
never once thought of it as us having an
Lourdes was silent.
"I never once categorized it as an affair, because affairs
end. They end in chaos and disaster and usually both parties end
up getting hurt. I think of you as my friend, my lover. You
belong to me."
Lourdes started to protest but...why did it sound so nice to
hear him say that?
"Well your more mines than you are Gabe's." He said. "And he
won't be around forever."
She wasn't sure she fully understood his meaning. "Alex, I
"What I'm trying to say is," he continued, "is that none of
this ever seemed like an affair, because it always felt right.
She slowly nodded her head.
"No matter how far away I am," he said, "each time I come
back, it always feels like I'm coming home. I know what I have to
look forward to. You."
Lourdes smiled. It was nice to see things that way, even if
it was a little romantic and sentimental. And
"Having said that," he paused, "since we're putting our cards
out on the table, I do have a confession..."
Lourdes crossed her arms over her chest, bracing herself.
"You wanna clear the air," he said, "you want to start fresh?
Then you should know the truth about why I never told you about
Lourdes stood still and waited for him to
"When we met last summer, I was so into you and you were very
good at masking your feelings for me. But when I saw how
independent your relationship with Gabriel was....I knew it
wouldn't be hard, to try and make you fall for me. I saw all the
things that were missing from your relationship and I made it a
point to fill in that void. And once you finally started
reciprocating, I knew that I had you."
"So what are you saying?" Lourdes asked. "Are you trying to
tell me, that you've just been playing me?"
"What I didn't know," he went on, "is that once you saw all
sides of me, once I broke your heart, would you still want to be
She waited for the punch line, but he was dead serious. Stone
face, blue eyes unwavering.
Lourdes had a knot in her throat. She swallowed hard and
chose her words very carefully. "You didn't brake my heart," she
said, "you deceived me, you betrayed me."
"Yes," he said, "and it was
"Yeah," she nodded, "and now you're saying that you
intentionally never told me about Celia, because you wanted to
He started smiling. "At first I wanted your unconditional
trust. Then I wanted your unconditional
"Your a piece of shit!" She whispered
"Yes," he said seriously, "I am sometimes. You see, I can be
a piece of shit. I can be worthless, and a lowdown dirty bastard.
But right now, I would do anything to hear you say that you want
to be with me again."
Lourdes stood there stunned. Alex was known to be a bit of a
mind-fucker, but this was too close to the bone. She decided he
was a liar. She decided to call his bluff. Lourdes shook her head
slowly. "I'm sorry." She said. "I think, I made a very serious
She turned to walk away....
Exactly thirty minutes on the dot and Lourdes was back alone