2012 is coming to an end. The past year is finally curling up inside the covers of the perennial past. Taking away with itself the warm and cold memories and days. I still remember the enthusiasm with which I had begun this year. My youth was complementary to the youth of the first month of 2012. Impatient, dreamy and energetic. I had thought that by the end of this year I will be a very different person. I had no way of knowing how right I was going to be, only, not the way I had imagined it.
January had me coping with the distress of being stabbed by a dear friend who, I later realized was not worth all my affections. Though, the incident also proved that I have some real good friends as well who took a stand for me and refused to leave my side. January taught me to value relations and to value what I already have. The youthful month taught me the mature meaning of Friendship. It taught me better how to deal with the turmoil of my emotions. But somehow looking back now, I realize it made me more humble than I should be.
February made me realize how lonely I really am. I am not hated by many; neither do I feature prominently on most of the hate books. Yet, the melancholy of my life story is that I do not make it to the priority of anybody as well (probably except my parents). The month of valentine left me wiping away silent tears of lonesome. I certainly have never had a sweetheart, but the aloofness of my dear friends and their innocent ignorance left a deep mark on my heart. Though, they could not be blamed for anything. They did take their stand when the time was right and they are not to take the responsibility of me all life through or take care of me all along. I understand. Yet, these stupid emotions do not. Also, February brought the aching realization of how wrong a past infatuation of mine had been. I had been pushing myself to a vortex of negativity, sadism and masochism. This was only the beginning of the realization, the undercurrents of which I still feel.