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Sunshine13

Essay By: Sweetstar584
Memoir



Musings


Submitted:Mar 5, 2013    Reads: 56    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Does anyone understand me? How can anyone understand me if I don't understand myself.

What's my point? What am I trying to prove?

Does it matter that I don't think I want kids now? Will I miss out on life?

If I'm not here to procreate then what am I doing here?

Palm trees and sunshine. Where do I belong? I want to belong to someone, somewhere. Feel loved. Feel loved, properly.

Soaring high in the sky. Sunshine on the horizon. Waves rolling into the beach soon to be filled with spirited people. Boardwalk empty. Wind blowing gently. Sunshine in the horizon. Palm swaying softly. Birds soaring high in the sky. Courts empty, net swaying. Sweet smell of summer. Waves in and out of the sand. Riding with the top down, sunshine on my face. Feeling warm. Breeze. Sweet smell of summer. Sunshine high in the sky. Warmth on my face. Palms swaying gently as we roll past them. Coastal road, driving. People on the beach, running, walking. Dogs leading through the sand. Sunshine rays along the water. Blue horizon, blue ocean. One leading into the other. Warm breeze on my skin. Sweet smell of summer in the air. Palm trees tall. Birds soaring up above. Freedom.

So now you have freedom. You still have yourself. Your thoughts. What do you do with yourself. What do you do with your thoughts? You're free. Are you really? What do you do with yourself. Walk endlessly down the beach, the boardwalk. Who are you looking for? There's no one who can help you. No one who can help you be with you. Be with yourself. Who are you looking for? There's no one there.

You keep walking, hoping. So long as there is hope, there is life. So you walk and hope. Palm trees and sunshine. Warm breeze and sunshine on your skin and your face. People pass by. Some smile, others don't see you. You are not exceptional. You are not special. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. You are you. Be with yourself. Be yourself. Love yourself. Be happy with yourself. Be happy. Be yourself. Be happy by yourself. Freedom.





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