News update on Adam. He’s become even more of a scumbag. We lost our virginities’ to other people. Which is fine by me, but what isn’t fine, is Adam going around acting like a baby Ron. Jordan told me a very emotional story, well, at least for me. I couldn’t believe as childlike as Adam is,doing something so cruel. Than again, it was a childlike act after all. He was currently dating this cute, tiny, Asian girl.
One of men’s many fantasies. God, is anything ever enough for that gender? They were at one of Adam’s friends houses, he leads her into his friend’s sister’s bed. How disgusting, I can only imagine how I’d feel if Jack invited some of his friends and they retreated to my bedroom… I wouldn’t be able to sleep for weeks. Anyway, they had sex. Just like that. She was a virgin, and bled all over the place.
He just stuck it in her. Nothing, nothing leading up to the big finish. Just dick. I can’t even imagine. I thought Ron was inconsiderate, and quick, but this story brings inconsiderate and quick to a whole new level. The very next day, he broke up with her through text, the very next fucking day. It just disgusts me to the very extreme. I’m so repugnant towards sex, I don’t think I’ll ever partake in it again. I count my blessings each day that I lost it to a stranger, rather than a dog that lived close to home. Actually, if I had it my way, I wouldn’t of lost it at all, but I have to stop letting my past define my future. It’s slowly eating me alive.
Leah saw a picture of Alex and Danni, it was bound to happen, she made jokes about Alex’s face, how he looked like a ‘proud pop’ standing behind her, it was a picture of him, her, and one of his friends. I never got the chance to hang out with any of his friends. I was close though, but that was when Mom was bringing down the hammer, “Why doesn’t he ever come over here?, "You’re not allowed to see him, until he comes over here!” I would of appreciated her tight rein on me, if only I wasn’t tainted. Now, I just feel like damaged goods, honestly, I should be with whoever I choose to be with at this point.
Lucky for them, I don’t want to be. I’m done, my sex escapades are over. I think I’ll go cold turkey like Leah and wait a year before I join back into the whole intercourse thing. Dan and Jordan are already perusing me, but I don’t even want to think about committing to that kind of attachment. I’ve been honest with them for the most part about it. I stole some nail polish, and a pair of earrings today. I don’t know if this frightens me, or makes me feel accomplished. I just don’t care. Feelings have escaped me, and wanting to open up to anyone new is a total trial. I want to though, I want something fresh and interesting to get into. Yet, people utterly disgust me, hopefully, before summer vacation, I’ll grow out of this anti people phase.