All LOVE of mine
With a song and whine; you are harsh and divine
Like truths and a lie.
But the tale ends not here; I have nothing to fear,
For my Love is hell of giving and hold on
And the bright Emptiness;
In a room full of it, Is a cruel mistress;
I feel this unrest, that nests all hollowness;
For I have nowhere to go in the cold;
And I feel so lonely; there's a better place than this……
And I am so lonely;
There's a better place than this…..
He took a deep breath when he was writing that poem on his diary, with teary eyes; the cloudiness and haziness of that gush in his eyes were brightening his lenses no doubt but the pain in them was unbearable enough for him. While imprinting that all he was lost somewhere deep in her thoughts….
''I promise you, I would never leave you all alone, you can't imagine the intensity of love that I have for you, I trust you even more than myself!''.
He clenched his fist after that sentence that he broke her trust when he had promised her. He felt a thwart and stymie in himself to even breathe peacefully. He had been apathetic to his emotions of grief and guilt for her too much; he had been stoic. Shahram wished intensely to emend his erroneous faults and cruelty but somehow sanaya was seemed to be intricate personality as maze in his life. She wanted to be vantage regardless of the way she behaved. He neither could live with her nor could divorce her. He was just meant those days to get roshini back in his life again at any cost. It had been his avarice to win her back.
He was lost in her when his cabin's door was knocked, shahram looked back at his door and he was somehow irritated to get sanaya there in his cabin. He wanted however some peace of mind and sanaya was not supposed to relax him at all.
Sanaya: good morning shahram! I am here with delicious breakfast for you. At morning you had left for office even without having a toast; I thought I must accompany you here, did you like the surprise? (She asked him pleasantly while seating)
Shahram: hmmm…..(he just nodded because he was not in mood neither to absurd her nor to cheer her up because of her unwanted and unpleasant antics).
Sanaya: look shahram! I know what bruises are being scared on your heart but it's not way to behave as you are doing! I mean shahram you can't live all alone by obscuring yourself from the rest of the world (she said placing her hand gently on his but he jerked back and stood near window which was brightening his cabin with its shine)
Shahram: sanaya I know what do you want from me but I am sorry, I can't stand by those all your wishes (he was still gazing outside from window not looking at her face)…. You know very well that I have been loving roshini since childhood; I rejected her because she was being disgusted at that time. There was left damn nothing for me except to leave her but my heart never left her and now I have been ablaze to get her back in life!
Sanaya: and what about me? (She at once spoke interrupting him in between his talk with welled eyes. He turned back to her, looking in her eyes)
Shahram: I don't know sanaya, I have never loved you (he took deep breathe)…..I married you because dad asked me and I could not refuse him. And you knew my weakest point damn it (he came close to her in anger while uttering that and grasped her arms in anger. she pushed him back with same force replying him);
Sanaya: stop it shahram, you are not alone who is tolerating this all; I am also suffering you and this disgusting relationship, my foot! (She said wiping her tears). It was really big mistake of mine to love you and for that all, I am being punished. You know what shahram! You actually don't deserve to be loved neither by me and nor by your damn roshini! She left you to save herself from you! I guarantee you Mr. Shahram; if she is alive, she must be happier than ever before today without you and without your so. called name. (She rushed out, wiping her tears. He clenched his fist in anger and frustrated himself by hitting his fist on glass window which injured him and blood oozed out of his hand).
After a few minutes shahram consoled himself to bring her anyhow back in his life and there was no way to live without her. It might be his guilt either, or love; what so ever but it had been his utmost desire to get her; it had been somehow bandwagon.