My exam is totally horrible, it wasn’t easy as what everybody expected, it will really make your head swell, and it is a long process before you answer the logic behind those odd lines. But all I can say is Exam’s over and finally I can rest my back for a long hour of deforming it.
This is an unfamiliar city, I rent an apartment because I live far from here, I came somewhere in a small province up the mountain and haven’t known civilization for a very long time.
I dreamt to become a teacher, travel abroad and be a photographer, that was weird I didn’t even know what I’m saying I just read it out in a thing they called magazine brought and left by the tourist who visited the province for a simple feeding program. I keep watching those pictures and so in my heart I know that’s what I really wanted to be. We don’t have a proper education there, there’s no teacher who dare to come up to teach because it’s a long walk before you reach the province. And so children there grow up without a dream. I am the eldest of eight and I don’t want my siblings to grow up unknowing the main reason why they exist.
I used to wake up early in the morning, boil water for papa’s corn coffee and cook six pieces of Kamote, try to fit it all in a ten members of a family. I do house chores everyday and there’s no time for playing, and so I keep now in mind that if I sleep, I still wake up with a life like this. Mama is a housewife and papas a corn harvester having a profit that won’t even help comply a family’s needs.
I use to be with my friend Ambroshia, a black beauty woman with a curly long hair, we talk about such little things that could make our life sensible, she said she wanted to become a model but honestly accepted the fact that that particular thing is too far to be possible, and as a friend though I don’t know how or when it’ll happen, I still encourage her. Suddenly, I heard papa’s loud voice that echoed calling my name and I came home right after. When I come home I saw mama crying in the stair and papa sitting in a long wooden chair and he signed me to sit beside him, I asked papa what happened and mama told me everything with her having teary eyes. I’m 15 at that time but I’m 5’6” in height the tallest girl in our village and I’m proud of it from the start I got that magazine full of pictures I know that I will have a better future under this mountain. Parents here, in bluntly speaking, used to sell their children, when they reach the right age (actually 15 is qualified), to marry an unknown stranger from a family having a “Large-backyard” as we call it and I know honestly deep inside them, my parents, it’s out of their will but they have to, in order to raise their big family. They’ll sacrifice me for a month or even just a week of food supply. Papa told me that tomorrow will be the wedding ceremony. As I watch my baby brother sitting at the corner having just a piece of cloth without underwear and thumb sucking, I cant help but cry, my siblings who used to be with my side give me a hug that feels like I’ll be going somewhere without going back anymore. I looked at the whole family and deeply felt so pity for them. I taught my brothers and sisters not to cry and so they didn’t, I told them they have to sleep early before a witch visits and collect children in her sack and so they ran upstairs to sleep and without a word to my parents, I go after my little brothers and sisters.
Its 3 o’clock in the morning and everybody’s asleep and so I begun packing my things quietly and slowly I came out to reach our little kitchen, I was so shocked when I saw my mother who packed the only food we have as Pabaon, she knows I’m leaving. Mama knows what I feel and so she gave me a goodbye kiss that cost large and unstoppable teardrops down my cheeks. I asked her why but she doesn’t say anything except goodbye. She locked the door and she whispered “Run before your father wakes up!” and so I run in the midst of nights darkness I ran through the forest, run and run like a wild pig being chased by a hunter. I don’t know where the fate will bring me, all I know is I must escape from the dark future awaits tomorrow if I still stay.