Cancer (MyStory Challenge)

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Poem By: Alice Oiseau
Memoir

Tags: cancer, death, ashes, challenge, battle

This is for MyStory's Challenge. She simply gives you however many words you ask for (1-10).
I asked for 10... not surprising... ha

Oh and the picture is just some random photo from photo bucket so don't ask. Yeah, it looks like it could have come out of my photo album, but it's not me or my grandpa.

This poem is dedicated to my Grandpa Lloyd who battled against cancer for nearly a year and a half.
He was on life support... the doctors were going to stop treatment and take him off life support because they said there was no way he would recover... the next day he was sitting up on his own and talking. Some people might call it a miracle... but whatever happened that night, it gave him a whole year longer on his life.
That didn't stop the cancer though... it came back... and then his time came and he passed away. But he was one hell of a soldier - not only did he fight off the cancer, but he also fought in World War II.
And so when I was given my words:
distance
last
battle
insidious
indestructible
confusion
unfathomable
overcome
flames

and finally

miracle.

It was miracle that triggered the memory and the poem.
Enjoy. View table of contents...

Submitted: Jun 25, 2008 Reads: 81 Comments: 23 Likes: 12

Cancer

By: Alice Oiseau

Dedicated to my Grandpa Lloyd

I watch from a distance,

Though I want to share this last embrace,

I can't - for we aren't even face to face.

The battle against the Crab begins,

Its an insidious enemy,

It stretches its legs,

Crawls inside your body,

There it spreads.

Indestructible.

Waiting for a miracle,

Confusion written on your face when they say,

"Six monthes left"

The Crab won't stop -

Its hunger is unfathomable -

To your skin

To your lungs

To your bones

To your brain.

It eats away,

until your final day.

A fight not many overcome,

... for the Crab has won...

Your body in the flames,

Your ashes in the river,

Your spirit in my heart,

My tears unending...

I miss you...

thblackandwhiterose.jpg picture by sweetncuteblondewriter

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Comments:

stephhlebreton

wow alice, you really taped in deep with emotion in this one, I think I felt my heart break. very well realised, you are great!
Steph(:

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

i didn't even get to you yet to even TELL you i had a new poem up! lol
thank you steph :) yes... this one is packed with emotion... my whole heart and memories went into this one entirely.
thank you ma belle ^^

Hugs and kisses

*sniffles* that is so good. I really am at a loss for words right now. But this is really, really good and I'm going to click the "I like it" button right now.

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

awww thanks hugs and kisses :)
*gives hugs and kisses a box of kleenex* there you go ^^

matthew smith

Oh Alice this is so sad and beautiful. Your Grandpa would be so proud of you. I like the way u describe cancer, the crab crawling throughout the body, persistent in its devastation. The flow and language is tender and meloncholic at the same time, which adds to the atmosphere of this piece. Very beautifully written Alice

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you matthew ^^

jadey oneil

Oh, that's really sad, Alice...:-(
I felt the same when mine passed away.

The good news is I LIKE THIS PIECE! ^^
The imagery is effective when you used the "CRABS" to represent cancer. Well, taking the crabs' claws, they're somewhat sharp and savage. And when they crawl with those claws, it's like they're out for a kill.

Great Metaphor, old grasshopper! ^^
(Sorry, Since I'm the young grasshopper, I was thinking you might be the old one. LOL!)

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

LOL woooow. i think i like teacher better. hahahahaha! being called "old" isn't really too flattering. hmm. maybe "wise" grasshopper would be nice... lol

i loved how you extended the metaphor by adding the claws - a great way to look at it. thank you jadey ^^

mystory

OMG this was so beautiful it made me cry! =( So sweet and deeply touching, I loved it. I love the whole concept, very creative. Absolutly beautiful. ^^

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

i told youuuu that you should bring some tissues! lol
thank you mystory ^^ i'm glad you chose those words... this was a nice way to remember my grandpa and write it for him. thank you for the challenge :)

Those

This is very good! THe emotion was great! I loved how you used the Zodiac sign for Cancer when you were talking about the disease. IT is very beautiful.

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

ah ha - you are the first to mention that its the zodiac sign ^^ yes, i got the idea from a movie. they were talking about cancer and he referred to it as The Crab and i was like hmmm. interesting concept. and then theres the whole cancer the crab zodiac thing. completely different - yet strange how the disease and fit with the crab and still stand alone as a zodiac sign.

thank you liz ^^

controverse

Very moving poem! You used your words well I say! I loved your word the "Crab", attaching emotional significance to something that is normally remote.

Very well done!

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

o.O i was expecting a longer comment from you mister lol oh well.
thank you controverse ^^ i'm glad it was moving... i really feel like i've done a good job with my poetry if i can touch the reader in some way, and tap into emotions.
thanks again ^^

AngelaSteele

Well... I don't think it matters... but I AM a Cancer. Lol. Sorry for killing people. Oops. My bad :) I can assure you it was not done intentionally.

Great Poem Alice! This was a beautiful poem, sad, but still beautiful. I enjoyed it. You mastered the words perfectly.... so on...etc. You know it was brilliant, there's no need for me to go on :)

I loved it!!!

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

lol i have nothing against Cancers - in fact my sister is a Cancer and she's the greatest haha. its just coincidental that that happens to be the zodiac sign and a disease. i dont blame you for anyones death angela hahaha

hehe :) thanks hon ^^

Chicka19

I know how you feel. My g-pa had lung cancer too... not very much, they caught it right away, but still. A wonderful poem Alice. =) Mandy

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

just knowing that someone has battled cancer sometime in their life... whether its a small amount or not... its something that the people they are close to can never forget. even if its a small amount, its still a scary thing.
i remember when i was younger, i had to have my birthmark removed because it started growing bigger and the doctors thought it was the beginning of cancer. dunno if it was. if it was, then they caught it right away like they did with your grandpa.
i'm rambling. -_-'
i tend to do that.

thank you mandy ^^

xXcoldXheartedXworldXx

.........that was amazing!
there are only a few things in this world that make me want to cry. and this is one of them.
awesome job ma chere!
i thot id throw some french in there for ya!
lol!

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

lol hahaha merci pour le francais ^^

i find cancer to be something that many people can get emotional about... because its just... its awful. it really it is and its something that many people have gone through with a loved one.
thank you frankie ^^

lemonluv

this was soooo heartfelt and deep. you could tell that it meant somethin to you. very well done! i really liked it. and the zodiac sign thing was a good idea. (even though i didnt realize that you did till i read the other comments.) anywho, i really liked this!!!!!1
~Lemon

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

haha thank you ^^ glad you liked it :)
yes... this poem really touches deep with me.
thanks again ^^

findingmyway

Wow this poem is so tender...I love it a lot. It made me think of my own grandpa (he didn't die from cancer, heart disease, but I still thought of him.) This was so sweet and I'm sure your grandpa would be very proud of you. :)

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thanks :) i'm glad it made you think of your grandpa ^^ though, i'm sorry about his passing...

thanks for the sweet comment
take care ^^

Pratibha

I felt as if a sharp dagger penetrated my soul....so painful ....but he sure has left his impressions in this world and through you we could feel his presence.....and fight...

GOD BLESS U SWEETHEART....

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

aww thank you pratibha ^^ god bless you too :)

James Woodrow

you really made me want to cry it's so full of emotion

Posted: Jun 26, 2008

Author Comment:

awww i'm running out of kleenex boxes to hand out to everyone!
thank you ^^

Laurel

That was so good! You're right, it was a little sad. Especially when you know someone like that yourself. Or should I say knew.

Posted: Jun 26, 2008

Author Comment:

yeah, but... people come and go. its a fact of life.
thank you laurel :)

whitehart

This is such a sad piece, but then death is always sad....well, mostly! Love the imagery use. Great writing.

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks deb ^^ yes, it is a rather sad piece, but as you said, death is mostly always sad - t'is a fact of life.
thanks again
take care :)

suzanne capleton

I dunno what to say... it's so beautiful... *sniff* i can really feel the emotions in this poem alice. This is really something that's one of a kind. I loved it. :) take care my friend...
~suzanne c.

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thanks suzanne :)
you too ^^

Anna Therese

Made me cry a little - my father too died of cancer. This must have been hard to write.

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

Author Comment:

well... its been about... a year and half since his death... so i've had time to think about a lot of things. so it wasn't too hard to write - but there were some memories and some moments where i had to pause for a bit... i'm sorry about your father :( that's really sad...
thank you anna
take care :)

Urja

The first paragraph was the most beautiful and the most painful. Exactly what I felt last October when my father lay on a ventilator in an ICU, battling blood cancer. It happened so fast that he didn't even know what he was dying of. He had always wanted all of us to be around when his time came, but when it did come, he was all alone in the ICU, among aliens and machines. I still miss him and your haunting poem brought tears in my eyes.

Posted: Jun 28, 2008

Author Comment:

aww urja i'm sorry about your loss :(
its always painful to lose someone we love... and especially someone so close as a father.
thank you urja
take care ^^

XBrokenHeartedX

Alice this is now my absolute favorite poem of yours. This is one of the best works I've ever read from you. I think that when you write about true experiences, your voice and your emotion is a lot stronger because you KNOW how it feels. I really REALLY liked the crab metaphor. Darling, it was absolutely MARVELOUS. You also used the words so well! When I read it through the second time I turned off the blue color for the words and just read it. And the words were put in, like I said, perfectly. This poem really reminded me of my dad. He's like a major smoker, and every time I visit him I get scared that he's going to get cancer. And if my dad died, I don't know HOW I would live. I'm really sorry about your grandpa, but goodness he was a fighter. If he could stand up against cancer....
Alice this was fabulous:)

Posted: Jun 29, 2008

Author Comment:

aww thank you zoe ^^ a new favorite? aww well thanks :) hmm thats interesting - the whole writing stronger if i've been through it b/c theres more emotion in it. i never noticed the difference - but apparently there is b/c you've always liked my more emotional writing ^^ so thank you! glad you liked the crab metaphor :)
aww, i would be worried too if my dad was a major smoker. i hope cancer doesn't come his way...

thank you zoe ^^
yes, he was indeed a fighter and i admire him greatly because of that :)

Ashleigh Butcher

Haha, alice. U make me laugh. I can't even comprehend how immensely talented you are. This is so, well, sad (for lack of a fancier word), and i loved every word of it. Please send me a message when you have your next one up...oh, and i'm sorry i haven't posted your challenge yet...truth is, i've been on holiday and i haven't even started! But i will now, and i'll tell you when it's up, i promise. Really nice words and topic, btw; so thanks!

Much love-
Ash

Posted: Jun 29, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thanks ash :) sometimes 'sad' is the only word that needs to be said, nothing fancy. i'll be sure to let you know when my next poem is up ^^
dont worry about the challenge. there is no rush ^^
thanks ash
take care :)