A Flashback Of Summer

 

 

I never knew you

Sitting to my right

Trained eyes looking forward

Watching his waving arms

With me

 

Sitting in a circle

Surrounded by little caves

Playing music

Playing cards

All of us.

 

A few months

I hardly think of you

Wandering alone

Trying to find my place

I keep getting lost

 

I can’t do this

Not anymore

Always my own leader

But not without

A voice

 

Counting down days

The warmth has arrived

Summer on my skin

Let’s keep it off

Of yours.

 

Pouring out a dish

Soothing a reptile

I look up

You walk in

With an escort.

 

Running through shade

Patches of horrid sun

At the forest’s edge

Comparing skin

That marked hand.

 

Barely escaped

Circle the parking lot

Well aren’t you confident

Never mind

Wrong bench

 

Rock-hopping

Slow down

You’re doing fine

Wait, you’re going to—

Fall

 

Carrying my Converse

Under the city

I’m sorry

I didn’t mean

To blur your lines

 

Brick wall

Red paint

Message received

Its time

We’re runaways

 

There’s the light

Can’t we just—

Oh okay

Wait up

My shoes are soaked

 

Cooling off

Yes that’s fine

You can lay back

No don’t speak

I’ll read you

 

Like magic

Thoughts on your face

Lips moving

No words emit

Emotional eyes dance

 

Into the cold

No chili please

If you’re a figment

My imagination

Is running rampant

 

I guess we have to—

Just a minute

I’d like to remember

The little face lines

Your laughter

 

You know my fears

Walking toward your car

Smiling next to you

But inside I scream

Please, gods. Don’t let him change.

 

Be honest with me

For in that moment

Eyes closed in jet city

You were ten feet tall

For once we were free

 

I made a mistake

If I had only seen

Our separate futures

I wouldn’t have walked away

Let you go

 

That night

Promised we will

Spoke openly the truth

For the last time,

"Worth every second".

 

Thirteen days, I hold on

Just a little longer

I remember what you said

I’m here

Strong.

 

One day before

A frigid plunge

Institutional ice

Hating myself

Walls tumbling down

 

You can’t help me

I understand

You’re tired

But as am I

I strike and kill

 

Next day

Hating myself

Voice in my head

He tried.

And you failed

 

Eyes barely see

Writing your soliloquy

Sincerely

If I bare myself

Tell you

 

What you mean

What you are

What you have become

What you will be

Will you do the same

 

For me.

And in every fibre

I know the answer

And I hate myself

For expecting again

 

Your whisper of someday

Of all the possibilities

Of six years, eight inches

A flashback

A foreshadow

 

Of summer