Random First Lines: “The difference between you and me Kirk, is I can let things go, and be relaxed and calm about it,”... : Young Adult » Read
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This poem is dedicated to Ashley Miller, my cousin. She passed away last year. View table of contents...
Submitted: Oct 1, 2006 Reads: 84 Comments: 3 Likes: 0
She had cystic fibrosis
Or as some call it,
Sixty-five roses
She went into the hospital
Wasn't anything new
Was already on the list for a transplant
Not much else they could do
They all were so sure
That she was coming back
But she never did
Due to the lungs she lacked.
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i see this poem as having too much potential but i believe that you could have used words with emotion and power to hit directly to the centre of life.
e.g. she had it
and others may voice it
as sixty five roses
she went into the institution of life
it was supposed to be the last time
for she was on the list for a transplant
what more they could they offer?
they were certain
that return was eminent
and the last time it was
for the lungs, she lacked
and cystic fibrosis consumed her.
Posted: Nov 2, 2006
i like your version. you said what you felt at the time.
snowbelle
Posted: Jan 9, 2008
i have this desiese and i thought this was a very touching poem and i am glad u have written that
Posted: Feb 10, 2008
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