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Cystic Fibrosis

Poem By: gacademy
Memoir


This poem is dedicated to Ashley Miller, my cousin. She passed away last year. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Oct 1, 2006    Reads: 84    Comments: 3    Likes: 0   


She had cystic fibrosis
Or as some call it,
Sixty-five roses

She went into the hospital
Wasn't anything new
Was already on the list for a transplant
Not much else they could do

They all were so sure
That she was coming back
But she never did
Due to the lungs she lacked.


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Comments:

i see this poem as having too much potential but i believe that you could have used words with emotion and power to hit directly to the centre of life.

e.g. she had it
and others may voice it
as sixty five roses

she went into the institution of life
it was supposed to be the last time
for she was on the list for a transplant
what more they could they offer?

they were certain
that return was eminent
and the last time it was
for the lungs, she lacked
and cystic fibrosis consumed her.

Posted: Nov 2, 2006

Author Comment:

Wow. You're a lot better at wording these things than I am. You see, that was the 2nd poem I had written in dedication to my cousin. I guess my inspiration wasn't all that great for this write, but you really did a good job re-writing it.

i like your version. you said what you felt at the time.
snowbelle

Posted: Jan 9, 2008

naidne
(not registered user)

i have this desiese and i thought this was a very touching poem and i am glad u have written that

Posted: Feb 10, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm glad that you enjyoed it. Thanks for commenting.



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Other writing by gacademy She Was a Mermaid Too... Where Will You Go? MUGD My Escape Sleeping In More..



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