Tynee (R.I.P)

I still wake up every morning reaching for the top of your head. & Remembering all over again that you're gone forever and dead. & Knowing it wasn't your choice but the choice if someone else. & There was really nothing I could do about it. 'Cuz if I could rewind the sands of time I would've stayed up all night that night. Just to make sure you didn't go out of the front door of that house. Because even though you would've died anyway , maybe, it might've bought me some more time just to sit you down and REALLY EXPRESS to you how MUCH I loved you. Because even though I told you it everyday, every second, I NEVER said it enough. & Losing someone as precious as to were to me was really tough. & I had a leak I the pipes of my eyes for years. Sitting around thinking the repairman would never come to patch up MY tears. Checking at your grave everyday hoping somehow we made a mistake and you were still alive down there. Praying to god that this was just a nightmare and you'd get to see me get to highschool. But you didn't and this is reality. & In a way you were my first love and I lost you before I had you. And now I'm a sophomore and I'm glad you, Got to move on to the next stage of your existence, Even if you, Didn't get to see me move on to mine.