My father was not a gentle man,
when he was angered I was the one that fell under heavy hand.
I live under strict discipline,
my soul did waver but never did i bend.
When I sat alone and trapped,
my mind wandered free,
I saw my body as an empty shell.
My eyes did move and my mouth did speak,
but never was I there.
I fled to a place only I could be.
A place of moderate happiness,
and the creatures filled my fantasies.
When he saw my glimmer of a smile,
he tried to warp me until a that was left was suicidal bile.
I was worthless,
I was used,
I was what he refused.
To hang myself,
to slit my wrists,
to fall from my window from a second story height,
all I did think.
I was to cowardly to try.
I hid my pain,
I hid my sorrow.
I could only hope someone would miss me on the morrow.
After a while the beating hurt less,
after a whilemy heart I confessed.
But I was refused,
by the one I had come to.
My hope was shattered,
my peace was gone.
My world shook to pieces,
but I made sure I was gone.
Not in body,
but yes in mind.
I escaped my cage!
If only for a time.
I denied myself the peace of death,
I refused to draw my last breath.
So for it now I still stand,
not as empty as I had planned.
I am strong,
and never again will i let myself fall under a man's heavy hand.
My scars I show as trophies of war.
To prove I did live through what was wrong.