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"Loaded Gun"

Poetry By: RaisinGirl
Memoir



becoming the trigger, and letting the blade lure you is a dirty thing to do....I made a bad mistake...which I hope to never do again, because it is foolish... no matter how bad you feel, it is not a wise choice...


Submitted:Feb 18, 2009    Reads: 113    Comments: 2    Likes: 1   


I always claimed that I was a loaded gun,

though I never thought that I would use it,

but the screams running through my blood,

gave me justice in releasing the sinister bullet...

I should have just said no, and walked away,

instead I woke up, after not having slept at all,

swallowing the sour acid within my sick stomach,

and reaching for the trigger, I pulled in my fall...

A single emotion taking over your empty being,

spreading like a disease throughout your brain,

soon creating thirst for metal against the skin,

and that is how the blade barely graced my vein...

I felt it creep within me, for I was lone and crazed,

I never wanted to skate on this thin, cold ice,

but I was dazed, confused, and a bit suicidal,

so I gave into the lure of the alternative vice...

Becoming that trigger on that tricky, loaded gun,

falling with the ashes, a blackend sun, and such,

Those dirty little addictions feeding your body,

will only black your heart if you let it self-destruct...

I wish not for time to reverse, yet I wish I was free,

I hope I never fall back into this abyss I did once create,

the day I become free of this grotesque withdrawal,

is the day I am freed from the dependency I do hate.





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