Leaking through the marvel of a page of thought,
And gathering on the tides of sin--
A sweltering self-hate is born.
I cannot stop these tender echoes of shame
That consume my countenance like a livid flame.
Oh, I am taking this too much to heart, aye?
“Why are you making such a big deal over this?”
I seek to be understood.
Apparently, just like a robot,
You take what I feel as an annoyance—
Too complicated for the circumstance.
You’re trying so hard to tame what is lurking beneath
You’re trying so hard to suffocate your desires in the midst of
This is how you make me feel.
You want to take everything and control it—
Throw it into a little glass bottle
That is destined for a distant shore,
And babble that I am not worth your time.
Do you need me?
Do you need this?
I allowed you to see the weaker side of me,
And you abandoned the moment
Like running from the plague
As if it were on foot.
I feel unwanted.
Flames erupt from my deepest past;
Tears double in force.
I feel rejected and put aside.
Forgive me for feeling like I do,
You, Mechanical Thing.