My nerves are actually on edge and I'm
shivering as I type this annoying piece of literature. I am a
homosexual and I'm not going to lie, its an interesting place to
be. This shaking and resistance to typing this blog is not
because god is telling me to "choose" a better lifestyle, it's
because I hear to many horror stories and think about how many
people will awkwardly approach me in the future to ask about it.
I write this out because coming out is something that for certain
reasons needs to be done.
It's not as bad as it seems, every
hour hearing someone say fucking faggot, or thats gay. You kind
of get use to it after a while. The hardest part for me is trying
to convince people it isn't a sin or a choice for that matter. It
has been this way since the first time I stepped in the boys
locker room. Homosexuality deals with sex, that doesn't mean I'm
a perverted dement who needs counseling. Unfortunately it has
lead me down several dangerous paths.
Now that we know I am gay I usually
get the question, Why? Again it wasn't a choice. The best
explanation I have for it is because I have two older brothers.
This does not mean I'm saying having two older brothers and their
aggressive behaviors made me passive and weak. I am however
saying I accept the "older brother theory", which suggests that
the more brothers you have the more likely the womb condition
will create a gay baby.
Why is it necessary to admit this? It
prevents awkward moments in the future for the most part. If
people know they begin to understand what it is. I honestly
without a doubt don't want your sympathy, ok maybe a little. I do
want people to believe it isn't a choice and to take each persons
case individually and not as a representation of what every
homosexual is "capable" of doing. By that I am referring to the
switching of ones sexuality.
There you have it, I can't believe I
finally said it in a somewhat public form. This is what it is,
being homo really isn't all I ever think about. I however talk
about it a lot because I deal with it everyday. It's like the
girls who gossip about all the cute guys they want. Accept when I
bring it up its usually viewed as a little, well, queer.
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