My nerves are actually on edge and I'm shivering as I type this annoying piece of literature. I am a homosexual and I'm not going to lie, its an interesting place to be. This shaking and resistance to typing this blog is not because god is telling me to "choose" a better lifestyle, it's because I hear to many horror stories and think about how many people will awkwardly approach me in the future to ask about it. I write this out because coming out is something that for certain reasons needs to be done.
It's not as bad as it seems, every hour hearing someone say fucking faggot, or thats gay. You kind of get use to it after a while. The hardest part for me is trying to convince people it isn't a sin or a choice for that matter. It has been this way since the first time I stepped in the boys locker room. Homosexuality deals with sex, that doesn't mean I'm a perverted dement who needs counseling. Unfortunately it has lead me down several dangerous paths.
Now that we know I am gay I usually get the question, Why? Again it wasn't a choice. The best explanation I have for it is because I have two older brothers. This does not mean I'm saying having two older brothers and their aggressive behaviors made me passive and weak. I am however saying I accept the "older brother theory", which suggests that the more brothers you have the more likely the womb condition will create a gay baby.
Why is it necessary to admit this? It prevents awkward moments in the future for the most part. If people know they begin to understand what it is. I honestly without a doubt don't want your sympathy, ok maybe a little. I do want people to believe it isn't a choice and to take each persons case individually and not as a representation of what every homosexual is "capable" of doing. By that I am referring to the switching of ones sexuality.
There you have it, I can't believe I finally said it in a somewhat public form. This is what it is, being homo really isn't all I ever think about. I however talk about it a lot because I deal with it everyday. It's like the girls who gossip about all the cute guys they want. Accept when I bring it up its usually viewed as a little, well, queer.
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