12:20 Sunday 29th 2007
Well, I've done some more math and I am still hoping my brother won't get involved in this porn fiasco. Mom has taken a nap as if to sleep her problems away. I bet the porn she found was gay porn, but she can't prove it. HA HA! All the teachers will probably be told and so will the kids she teaches. Here is what will happen; she will say I found some not so good stuff on the computer. Then everyone will get the idea. She can't keep her mouth shut. Grrr. Well I have about an hour of work left on homework. If that... And I have 9 hours to do it so.... I guess I will break from math and do gazettes. Drawing and labeling 1 every hour for 2 hours each taking 5 minutes to do ha ha should get me through the day.
8:46 later that same day
I don't think things could have been better. My brother never showed up. I got a lot of work done. Still, I am not finished because I am lazy. I don't think the gay porn is on there anymore. Right now things feel great. Only twelve days left until we get out of this apartment. I got student of the month this past week. The reward was great but I am hard to please.
The reason I wanted to share this journal entry is because not all of the information was disclosed in the actual pencil on paper writing that is found in my journal. I don't recall the date I started crossing out any references to being gay but I decided to lie to myself about my sexuality. I thought I would be able to escape my problems of being homosexual by crossing it all out.
After years of attempting this and various stupidities all things failed, and that’s when I decided for mental security it would be healthier to come out of the closet regardless of its current status in society. That status is of course unaccepted in the main stream. It would only make sense to hide my gayness by crossing it out even if I was the only one reading my journals because it is just to insane to be attracted to the same sex.
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