Sometime in April or May of 2008
Why can't I just live the way I want. I want to be free instead of trapped in routine. I find amazing to see the lifestyles of dumber species living so simple, but the human brain came and it trapped us.
Our knowledge and capabilities trap us into holding back our feelings and instead of directly working for food we do deeds for others all with no purpose other than a good feeling.
It's really the same a wolf kills it's prey. It stalks it and kills it for survival. It works for it, but a wolf as a species is intelligent and each has a place.
We need food and water and we will do ridiculous things to get it. We will perform like dogs to get what we want.
Those who separate people from animals are goofy. We originated from them and lived along side them.
God is right, the one who discovers God can write their own bible.
Why should I get up tomorrow to do something I don't want to do and why should I worry about that disappointing them? After all, all I need is food and water, and with my human intelligence I can access that with almost no consequence.
Other than the trap of human intelligence. I must obey the law. I must not strive to be different because to be different is suicide.
Something important happened to me in a peculiar way at this time in life. I had completely thrown out being gay to deal with and however shaded that by writing somewhat metaphorically. It could be completely understandable that the saying to be different is suicide is referencing being gay is suicide and coming out of the closet is suicide. However you interpret it I can assure you this is wrong because my thinking had drastically been altered.
Because of my daily frustrations whether it be homosexuality or just people in general pissing me off or even the possibility of pleasing me I started thinking on a broader scale. I no longer started thinking through a microscope to see minor details that had to fit into my life like I had tried when trying to make homosexuality fit with being a Lutheran.
I started thinking through a telescope that looked out into the open. Religion, what is its purpose? Science, what is its purpose? Math, what is its purpose? Those questions correlated with other ideas and that's how I started coming up with my seven things about everything which will not be discussed any further. In a sense this is when I just threw out relationships and gayness and focused my energy to creating a moral lifestyle I could accept on my own as well as others could accept.