HOW TO LOVE MY SON
In the year of 2009, just as the decade was ending, we must start anew. The past and its pains, hurts, and failures have to remain there as they form a bad precedent for what we are trying to do now. We are older, battle weary and aching for peace that normalcy and consistency brings.
I hope, in the form of lists, so as not to get sidetracked by sidewinding fucked up scenarios pulling at my suspicious mind:
1. Love him above yourself - recognise as i do that the best of you is embodied in your children, that life is not yours to command and how many moments left with him are not set in stone somewhere you can find.
2. Love everything about him - love his baby ways for they will disappear faster than you can blink, love his independence for this is a sign that you are doing something right, love his 10000 questions for his curiousity will sustain him when you are gone
3. Love yourself for wanting to be a part of his life - Single moms are ubequitous, but daddies are precious pennies in the swirling rush of modern life. Read more, try more, become more so that you have more to share with him
4. Love your own father and mother - at least be grateful for the happy accident that created you and the mistakes they made and the things they did right by you. Forgive them as you make your own family - it isn't easy and it doesn't get easier
5. Profess, provide and protect him - tell him you love him till he takes that for granted, be the source of all good things to him, and defend his name as it is your own at all times
6. Teach him to love - deeply emphatically, minus conditionalities. Let him know that women are to be protected and honored at all times, that he is more than himself but the son of generations, that he is child of God and His word is non-negotiable
Let us pray now. Hold my hand and remember how much you love me now.
Bless us two. Give us the strength not to fight, give us the wisdom to know better and forgive us our mistakes as we will make them. Guide us in your way and give us a sign when we are off course. Bring into our lives mentors and well-wishers to support and encourage us along the way. Please be there for us when we are afraid, unsure, anxious or worried for our son.
Bless our efforts to provide the best for him.
Yours in faith,
Father and Mother
Day to day - what shall we do? Communicate, discuss, disagree, wait and see.
You hold my world in your hands; you hurt him, you hurt me
You are my friend; and i am yours - remember that
when the night air whispers something else
when the winds of change, dust up the past
when i laugh in the face of your brilliant plan
when you shake your head at me in silent wonder
And now we are off!