Colored Pills

We were wrapped up on the loveseat with the yellow fleece blanket watching leather clad vigilantes on the Matrix. Red pill/Blue pill. I didn’t understand that movie then, and I can for sure say that I still don’t. All I know is that given the choice now, the latter is the way to go. "You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe." Would be so much easier, wouldn’t it? Being able to change anything you choose not to accept, anything you feel doesn’t fit into your idea of what you expected for your life. Psh, where's my God damned colored pills?

You were dating that Aaron dude at the time. Wow, he was a trip, huh? Remember that dumb thing he did while listening to music? Those lame hand gestures, kinda like gang signs. and throwin his head back and forth so his frizzed out blonde hair went everywhere. Ha, what a loser. He was hott though, I'll give you that. And really sweet underneath it all, too. I remember you telling me about that time he came over while you were cleaning your room and you tossed a buncha stuff at him to put in the trash. Then you went to his house a couple days later and saw one of your old barrettes clipped on the edge of your picture near his TV. Aww, that was really cute, although I think I mentioned something to you about it being slightly creepy too... lol.

With the Matrix credits rolling, he got up and popped in another DVD: The Blair Witch. I actually went to the theater to see that when it first came out and it scared the shit outta me. Ok, so yeah, you know I'm kinda a wuss when it comes to scary movies but shut the fuck up. Watching it that second time in his living room, it really didn’t seem to terrifying. About halfway through, me and Anne started getting antsy. You and Aaron were all entertained on the couch being all cutesy and shit -puke-. Ya know what has always grossed me out? The sound of kissing. The spit and mouths and.... ugh. Well, ya'll were doing a pretty good job of wiggin me and your sister out so we started badgering you to leave. Finally we convinced you two to take a drive with us.

So many night spent out on those back roads. your headlights not nearly as bright as the stars. Your little Cavalier hugging the corners of barely paved roads, peaking over the tops of hills and around the corn fields. Letting Sublime loudly fill the car (Aaron doing the dumb hand thing) and me and Anne in the back seat mocking him. Two glaring balls of light in the front from both your cigarettes and the rest was darkness. Old Farm Road 94, now THAT was what we called the "boonies." The road lined with trees, each like the next, mile after mile.

******

But wow, you knew how to piss me off! That early summer day back in 2000, eating Cheetos by the pool and listening to the static hum of the radio. You were wearing that ugly orange bikini that showed off the scars on your side. God, it was so disgusting how you'd poke your finger in them and laugh. Ha, ok, so it was kinda funny but seriously gross.

Anyway, I don’t know what was so great about that Erick guy, but damn, we were fighting for his attention, huh? I know I've always had bad memory, but from what I do recall of him... no! Dark brown haired Mexican kid with acne scars? Not really my idea of the kinda boy either of us would be arguing about.

We weren’t supposed to be driving out of town. We totally knew that, but I mean, we were just driving Erick home, who really thought we’d get caught anyway?

We pulled up to his house (in the none to nice part of town,) and you got out to “tell him goodbye.” Oh my God, when you leaned over to kiss him, wow, I do believe my nails wanted to meet your eyes. As soon as you got back into the car, it was on. Catty name calling, cuss words here and there, Anne in the backseat telling us to chill and that he “wasn’t worth it anyway.”

We pulled up to the four way stop, a white truck to your left. You braked, waiting for him to go but, he didn’t. Fuck that, we were in a hurry to get home and some idiot wanting to dilly dally wasn’t gonna fly. Then you went… and so did he.

He hit the front of your car, making it spin sideways. There was a huge crush and the BAM of the airbag, sending dust everywhere. As soon as the car came to halt, things were silent. “This CAN’T be happening,” Anne said, making her seem even younger than her 12 years.