Looking up at the night sky, an incredible abyss, filled with non existent sparkles, remnants of fire that burnt light years ago. Breathing deeply, enjoying my crisp clean surroundings, living on every exhilarating breath. I remember how much I prefer the night to day and when I first thought about it.....
I felt self conscious and nervous, a dark shadow, creeping from the pit of my stomach, and into my bloodstream. Taking me over. The last thing I wanted was for someone to care, to reach out and hug my shadow away, to let me cry and allow its escape. Fortunately, nobody cared. I preferred to feel this way. I went for a walk with my brother, leaving the sheep to drone in their shelter. Silence, except for the rhythmic tapping of shoes on concrete. I can't say specifically if I took in my dark surroundings, or if my surroundings caught my curiosity and took Me in, either way, I immediately felt at home. A rarely experienced feeling. I felt safe and comfortable, maybe relieved but not happy. My brother and I only walked around the block, but there were so many things thought and forgotten in that block. I would pass each yard and at each house a front light would be on, a soft yellow glow shimmering through the cold thick vapour filled air. Appearing warm and welcoming, beckoning me closer to it and its false promises. Drawing closer, I felt like running, running, running fast, not looking sideways, stopping only when my eyes can't see anymore due to the tears blurring my vision, from the cold dark night air whipping my eyes. My night, my silence, everything I was running to. I am the only one in that world. My thoughts are free and my mind clear. I enjoy the night, so much that night for a few seconds, things stopped, my Nanna hadn't died that afternoon, my family wasn't in tears and I didn't regret anything. That's why I like the night, I can't quite put my finger on it, but its very different to day. Things don't need to be done, they happen.
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