EMPTY SHADOWS OF THE PAST.
Just standing looking into the mirrow my heart missing a beat, checking my appearence was what i wanted, would i make an impression, will he feel a little sad at what he could of had, well now i am going to find out.
I slipped into the back of my neices car hair all pinned and curled my makeup done with such care and delicacey, my long Pink dress with twirls of gitter new shoes and bag what lenghts i had gone to . I asked my self after all these years do i still hold a torch in my heart for this man.
We arrive my neice kisses me goodbuy and tell me to have a nice time, music playing flowers everywhere lots of poeple all dressed in there best, my heart was thumping a little i was going to be able to talk to you this time as you were coming alone, as she had not been invited,
I mingled with the guests talking and laughing turned my camcorder on took shots here and there some of the small children geting up to misscheif and looking for anything that was funny or diffrent, I walked round the old mansion, decorated in flowers every where the room where the service was going to be held was a picture all the chairs covered in white with large lilac ribbons tied in at the back to keep the covers on the chairs, an arch of bloons and two spetacular flower displays either side of the alter that had been set.
I heard that you had arrived i walked to the main entrance the Vintage car drew up deep red with steams of white ribbon form the front, I switched on my camcorder watched you get out of the car then you helped you beautiful daughter who looked just like a princess in her pure statin dress, You looked so proud, i kept my distance and just watched.
The seraminy was so wonderful and your sister and her family had arrived my best freind of thirty years we talked joked and it was turning into a great day, you smiled at me and we chatted about general things, the day passed and the everning drew my son arrived with his girlfreind so i felt so pround when i looked at both of my strapping sons dressed in there suiits i felt so happy.
Ruth my dear freind had to leave a little early as she had her grand children and as it was 9pm so they had to be put to bed i kissed her and said i would see her tomorrow, at the barbaque.
Sitting in the cool of what had been a really hot day chatting with my son and his girlfreind you came and sat next to me then i turned and my son has dissapeared that just left you and me sitting under the stars with music from the disco playing, what do i say.
It has been 14years since i was in your precence alone just you and i sat looking at each other, how did i feel so mixed up, we chatted about your lfe with your new love of 2 years and the wedding, we talked and talked i gave you some advice like you did me many years ago, i could see in your eyes you were not really happy, so she does not do families, I asked you "what's going to happen when the grand children come as you only have one daughter", you answered "i do not know", you told me of all the arguements you had had for three weeks because of the wedding, in my heart i felt for you, we chatted for 2 hours then it was time for me to leave but i took your had and led you to the dance floor you held me so close kissed my cheak, my heart missed a beat and i knew you cared still, but I know it is too late for us.
I kissed you a freindly good buy and we all left, i now sit here writing this my heart is sad tears fall, how can i still love you after all this time, or am i crying at what should of been, i do'nt know all i do know is i still feel the pain in my heart today as that was just yesterday...............................