Christmas, Year 2348
A tall, bony woman stepped out of an old fashioned girls boarding school in London talking on her cell phone. It was mid December and the snow was already about a foot high. The woman had flame-red hair that sprouted in different directions and a pair of thick black glasses. She wore a tattered science coat, which was once white and clean but now grey and dirty. Her name was Jenkins and she was a lunatic. A real, nutty berserk teacher who was “bonkers” according to the students, and “mentally strange” according to the teachers.
“Tonight at nine,” she said, “I’ll meet you by the girls bathrooms, yes, yes, second floor. That’s right. And don’t forget the usual – caramel latte with chocolate swirls. Oh, and my electric toilet plunger. Fully charged, please. All right then, yes, see you. Bye.” She hung up and her wild ice blue eyes gleamed and the wicked grin of hers cackled loudly.
At nine o clock, two evil looking minions arrived to the school. Apart from the different coloured jumpers they wore, maroon and navy, they looked exactly alike, which wasn’t surprising as they were known as the “Evans twins”. Outside in the garden stood Jenkins. “You took your time!” She snapped as she took her coffee. It was a caramel latte, but with no chocolate swirl. “Idiot!” She cried, “How many times have I told you – what do I want on my Starbucks coffees?” One of the evil minions, the one with the maroon jumper, stammered, “Uh-h-h…M-m-marshmallows?”. “No!” Jenkins roared, “It’s my chocolate swirl! Stupid creature.” And she threw the coffee on the ground.
That night, in the dorms, a little girl called Penelope Hills woke up with a start. It was ten past nine and a cold wind swept through the window. She frowned and wondered why she woke up – and then remembered that she had left her cardigan back in the changing rooms in the girls toilet. Without any hesitation, she slipped her feet into her purple slippers and tiptoed out of the dorm. Little did she know what was awaiting her.
As Hills opened the creaky door, Jenkins came out a nearby toilet stall. “Why, h-h-hello there, Ms J-j-jenkins,” Hills stammered. She had no idea what her biology teacher was doing in the toilets at this hour, but she remembered that Jenkins was a lunatic and she could be doing any crazy thing. She saw her cardigan on the bench and made a dash for it, but Jenkins held her firmly. “Oh no you don’t!” She said, “Sit down and let’s talk!” Hills thought this was the silliest idea in the world, but she didn’t say no to the teacher. “You! In the navy coloured jumper, come here and start tying her legs. You! Uh, maroon jumper, come and tie her arms.” The two idiotic twins came and started to do as they were told which Jenkins used what looked like an ordinary red toilet plunger until she zapped the entry door. With a poof, it disappeared. Hills started to scream but Jenkins pointed the toilet plunger at her so she shut up right away.
The clock now read quarter to ten. Outside, heavy rain poured and lightning struck. Inside, Hills was shaking with fear and screaming in agony. The lightning plunger had zapped nearly everything in the toilets – mirrors were cracked, the light stopped, even the toilet was zapped into tiny pieces. Now what the insane teacher was trying to do was to figure out the best way to chop her arm off. She had made cuts here and there and was concentrating hard. Hills tried to fight her way out and eventually succeeded, but then one of the Evans grabbed her (who knew he was a good weightlifter?) and threw her to the stalls. Her head cracked against the toilet bowl and blood splattered gruesomely everywhere. Her arm was bleeding and her leg was bent in a weird angle. “Aw man, that’s my best polo shirt!” Evans cried as specks of blood landed on his shirt. The other Evans twin (who was obviously not afraid of getting covered in blood) went over to Hills and chopped her arms off. Then he dug out all of her bones, and cracked them. He chortled with laughter. “Don’t you just love that cracking, popping sound it makes?” He asked.
Now the demented teacher had decided to cover the entire toilet with toilet paper and the evil minions were helping (or rather, making a mess). Jenkins took a lighter out of her pocket, wanting to light her cigarette. But then navy jumper Evans started doing the moonwalk and bumped right into her. The lighter fell on the floor and suddenly the whole room was ablaze. Flames were everywhere. “You moron! You’ve caused a blooming fire!” Jenkins roared. The only escape was a tiny little window, which Hills could not reach as she was bound together by ropes. Everyone was running this way and that, trying to get to the escape. The riot caused sheer pandemonium. The two minions fled the city, and old Jenkins was sent to a lunatic asylum.
And as for Hills, well, the next day she was gone. Police went to investigate the toilets, but strangely, they couldn’t find the door in. The principal walked down the garden thinking to himself, “Surely she has got to be somewhere, but she isn’t. It’s almost like she disappeared from thin air…” He walked in the directions of the exit. Suddenly there was a crunch kind of noise. “What the heck?” The principal lifted his foot. He had stepped on something. It was a Starbucks coffee, a caramel latte.
Her body was never recovered. Some say Hills was taken by aliens on Pluto for scientific reasons away in a UFO. Some say it was chopped into a million pieces by a blind chef and made into sushi. Some even say she was running around like a drunk chicken on steroids and jumped off the top of a cliff into the Mississippi river. But now you know the real truth behind the murder of Penelope Hills.