Knock Knock Knock.
It was the first knock I had heard in five years. The last time I heard a knock it was a false alarm. The sound I heard was actually the branches of a tree knocking into the side of my house.
I'm not going to lie, the knock made me excited, hopeful even. No thoughts. Nothing ran through my mind. I just sprang toward the door hoping I would see life on the other side. I swear my heart dropped into my stomach when I opened the door and saw no one there. It was an eye opener, a little touch of disappointment to bring me back to my reality. I was alone. No one was coming to see me.
Then again yesterday, I was faced with the same possibility of disappointment.
The other day when I heard the knock, I was sitting at my kitchen table, a glass with water between my lips. The knock made my choke on my water in the middle of my swallow. I wasn't sure if I was delusional, or if what I was hearing was real. I noticed the table was fogging where my hand was touching its glass. My hands dampened at the thought of what could be. Rising from the table I started my journey towards the door. With each step I took my hope faded. I could visualize myself opening the door, but the action never occurred.
I could feel my pulse inside my head, each beat wanting to knock me unsteady. My head grew hot, and I felt as droplets of water slid down my face. By this time I had placed my head on my front door, smelling its wooden fragrance. The scent was coming in strong short bursts; at the time I hadn't noticed my breathing had quickened. My hand reached for the door handle ready to unveil what was waiting behind.
I stopped it real quick, and placed my hand at my side where it belonged. History would not repeat itself. I feared what was on the other side of the door. No. Not this time. I would not give in to temptation. I lifted my head from its resting place, and returned to my seat at the kitchen table to finish my glass of water.
An hour later the last drop passed my lips, and I turned my gaze toward the door. What should have taken a matter of seconds took me longer. Hands trembling and mind frozen over with uncertainty, the simplest task was all I needed to distract myself from the unknown.
An hour ago maybe I wasn't alone, perhaps someone came to see me.
An hour ago maybe I wasn't alone, perhaps I had a visitor.