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The diary of a criminal

Novel By: Asfi
Mystery and crime



The novel follows the life of a dangerous terrorist, as he realizes the purpose of his life. It is a comedy novel, though some parts may contain violence. View table of contents...


Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Submitted:Dec 17, 2012    Reads: 14    Comments: 0    Likes: 1   


Day 25

"This wine is at least three centuries old," I said, proudly holding up the bottle.

"Wow. How much does it cost?" Bryant said, smiling.

"A lot more than you've ever earned in your life," I said, chuckling "Wanna sip?"

"Eh, no," Bryant said, grinning "I'm not interested in a wine like that. Of course I want it!"

Chuckling again, I pulled out the cork and poured two glasses. Then I placed the open bottle on the table beside the couch.

Bryant picked up his glass and took a deep breath.

"Ah," he murmured "Cheers to me."

"Cheers to me," I snapped in reply "I bet you've never even seen this bottle in your life before. Let alone, taste it."

Still smiling, Bryant lowered his head, thinking hard. Then he looked up at me.

"Cheers to Ash," he said, raising his glass.

"Shut up and drink," I replied, angrily.

We both took a sip and Bryant chuckled.

"Wow," he whispered "Oh, wow."

I smiled and raised the glass to the lips again when I was rudely interrupted.

"Sir?" a servant said, walking up to me.

"What?" I snapped.

"Um…there's a call for you. It's the prime minister of the country."

"Ask him if he needs a doctor," Bryant said, laughing.

"I'm coming," I said, placing my glass on the table and standing up "I'm coming."

I stood up and started to follow the servant. From behind me, Bryant started following me.

"Why are you following me?" I asked him.

"I don't know!" Bryant replied "But I'm coming anyway, buddy."

I started to walk again when Bryant called out.

"Hello, Ash. What are you doing here? Look! The prime minster called for you!"

I turned around to see the girl walking around in the living room.

"Hey," I said, pointing at her "Go to your room! I'll deal with you when I'm back."

Then I walked out with Bryant following me.

Unfortunately, by the time we reached the phone, the prime minister had hung up on the other end.

"Oh, too bad," I mumbled. Then I turned to my operator "Did you change the number after the call?"

"Yes, sir," she replied, nodding "But I don't get it. How did he get your number?"

"I gave it to him," I said "but now you've changed the number again."

"Well, sir," she said, matter-of-factly "You're the one who told me to change your number after every call."

"Hmmm," I said "Well, maybe another time."

I walked out of the room to see Bryant waiting outside.

"Did you ask him why my clinic was shut down?" he said.

"I missed the call." I replied simply. "But let's go back now and enjoy our drinks."

When we walked into the living room, the first thing I noticed was the girl sitting on the couch. The second thing I noticed was the bottle of wine on her lap. The third thing I noticed was her raising a glass to her mouth.

"No," I screamed, running to her "My wine!"

"Ash!" Bryant screamed, too "What do you think you're doing?"

I snatched the bottle and glass from her and glared at her.

She smiled at me in reply. Her eyes were half-closed and she looked sleepy.

"Awww," she said "I wanted more."

That was first time she actually said something to me. I stared down at her with shock and she giggled.

"Ash," Bryant cried again. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her "How much did you drink?"

"Dunno," she replied, smiling "But that was awesome. It's so funny."

Bryant looked up at me with terror in his eyes. I looked down at the bottle and gasped.

"She drank half of my expensive bottle!" I screamed. I grabbed the collar of her sweater and pulled her closer to me.

"You'll pay for this," I growled.

"Are you gonna hit me again? That's not cool. My nose still hurts where you had hit me." She mumbled calmly.

"Oh, I'll show you," I screamed, pulling back my fist.

"Evan, stop!" Bryant screamed, grabbing my arm "Wait. Let her go."

"Why?" I snapped at him.

"Just let her go. Trust me." Bryant said, smiling.

Staring at him with confusion, I let go of her.

"Oh, I'm free," she cried, waving her hands over her head "Thanks, Doc. You're my knight in a shining armor. And I'm a princess. But if I'm a princess then I should have long hair or everyone will call me a prince. But who cares? Everyone already thinks I'm a boy! Hahahaha."

I glanced at Bryant and he glanced at me. Then he turned back to the girl who was now standing beside the fire.

"If I'm a princess then I should get going. My kingdom is very, very poor. I must save the dragon!" she screamed in a deep voice.

I burst out laughing while Bryant chuckled.

"Oh, my God," Bryant said with a hand on his chest "This is dangerous yet hilarious."

"Democracy has never been a funny matter, boys." She snapped, turning to us. "Stop laughing."

I laughed even harder. If I'd known this would happen, I would have given her wine a long time ago.

"I'm a bird….no…I'm a butterfly," she said, flapping her arms and then started singing in a new language.

"What language is she speaking?" I asked Bryant.

"I don't know. I think that's Arabic." He said, thinking hard.

I pulled out my cell phone and held it out close to her.

"There is an application in my cell phone that tells me every language." I explained to Bryant.

"Urdu," Bryant cried when he saw the results on my phone "She's speaking Urdu. Amazing!"

After a while she started singing in another language.

"Now that's Spanish," I said, checking my cell phone again.

"She knows English, Urdu and Spanish." Bryant cried happily.

"Ha!" the girl said turning to us "I know French and Chinese too! Once I tried learning Thai but I lost interest in it."

I stared at the girl in shock.

"Oh, my God," Bryant cried "What else do you know?"

"Well………" the girl stretched out the 'well' in a funny tone "I know how to….um….walk!"

I shook my head, smiling.

"This is a great way to get entertained." I whispered to Bryant.

"I always wanted to be a psychologist," she said, leaning against a wall "It's a funny subject. You get to…like…uh…work on the brain and stuff. And then I also wanted to find a good cure for Hepatitis. It's a bad disease. It takes away your loved ones."

"What do you know about the spy squad?" I asked at once. I realized that if she didn't know what she was saying, then it might be easier to make her tell secrets.

"Well, they……" the girl stopped in mid-sentence and became as still as a statue.

"Well?" I cried, impatiently "Where's their headquarters?"

"Bathroom," she whispered in reply.

"What?"

"Gotta…..go now. Thanks for watching, folks. Tune in next time for another cool episode." She whispered and then ran into my room.

We ran behind her as she ran into the bathroom.

Bryant peeked inside and then came back shaking his head.

"She's vomiting, isn't she?" I said.

Bryant nodded in reply.

"There goes my expensive wine," I said with a sigh.

After a while, she came out. Her skin was paper white and her eyes were rolling at the back of her head.

"Thanks….for…watching…folks." she mumbled and then fell down, unconscious.

***********





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