Tags:
love,
poetry,
life,
death,
poem,
pain,
sad,
sex,
hate,
sadness,
loss,
hurt,
dark,
fiction,
heart,
family,
death,
crime,
fight,
rebels
She denies them and is now terrified. I sneaked around the corner to avoid being seen. I still managed to peek. She screams for attention as her soul...
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Submitted: Aug 14, 2008
Reads: 129
Comments: 10
Likes: 2
As I walk down the street of my neighbourhood, I see a bunch of guys going into an alleyway in disguise. A frail old lady passes them by. The guys turn around and follow her; they harass her for her handbag; she denies them and is now terrified. I sneaked around the corner to avoid being seen, I still managed to peek. The old lady screams for attention, her old soul gets punched by one guy, she is knocked to the ground, flat on her back; one guy grabs her handbag and searches thoroughly. I cannot believe my eyes or ears, this can't be happening, but it is. It is happening right in front of me, if only I could do something. Another guy rips her top off, he pulls down his pants and begins to masturbate. The third guy is laughing whilst pinning her down. That was it! I couldn't take it anymore! I couldn't bear to think of that woman in pain, I had to do something. I came out of my hiding and shouted 'hey! leave her alone!' I hurried over to help the old lady. I was on crutches with one leg bound in plaster, I could only go so fast. The guys saw me, laughed andwalked over to me. At this point I didn't care about anything. I just wanted to help the old lady, her pain wasresonating in my ears. Before I knew it, all three guys circled me, I was kicked, punched and got beaten to a pulp. The last thing I remember was seeing the guys...taking swings at me with my own crutches. I must have passed out, as I woke up I felt the crutches on top of me. I slowly opened my eyes, moved away the crutches, and looked for the old lady. I saw her. She was still laying in the same spot, where she got knocked down. I was crawling over to her, in absolute agony I was in, pain was striking all over my body. 'Are you ok?' I yelled out.
'Hello... help me' was the reply I heard in a croaky and weak voice tone.
Finally I got to the old lady, I saw her face, she saw mine. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, my lips were quivering, I was whimpering. I lifted her head onto my lap, I pushed her hair back and stroked her face, she looked at me and said 'thank you my dear', in her frail little voice as she struggled to takeher last breath of air.
My tear drops showered her forehead, as she slowly closed her eyes. My world came crashing down and my heart was thumping when I came to the realisation that it was my Grandmother whom just died in my arms...
Written - 14th August 2008
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Comments:
SOME STORY - with the TWIST. - BRAVO
Posted: Aug 14, 2008
Aw, I hope this wasn't based of real life? It's a great poem, a nice build up - I slowly got hooked into it. The last few lines got me and my heart sighed! Good job! ~ Nixie
Posted: Aug 15, 2008
oh, my gosh! I didn't realize it was a poem! okay, so no more chapters?! Shouldn't she go and kill the guys now?!
bwahahah.
Posted: Aug 15, 2008
So sad..... so horrifyingly true too. In my opinion if the world continues to go on as this, we might even see an incident like this (so pray that we don't.)
But a very good poem. I want to read the others now, as I'm hooked. :-)
Posted: Aug 16, 2008
The ending - so sad, but perfect... It's like taking a regular poem or a story and turning it up about 4 notches. You really took hold of my emotions with the last paragraph.
Posted: Sep 16, 2008
Has anybody here read khalid hosseini's Kite Runner? In it there is a very similar scene. Except for there is a little kid in it, and the the guy who sees it happening doesn't do anything :p Nice one. But we gotta see the bigger picture here: there aren't that many good people left now.
Posted: Sep 17, 2008
Aww talk about heartbreaking, the person seeing their grandmother die in their arms, after being beaten up by some punks, i would have done the same thing, if i saw a buch of punks beating and torturing and elderly person, its just sad to think that this sorta thing happens for real in this world.
All in all, a very moving and heartwrenching piece. But very good as well.
Posted: Sep 18, 2008
It just makes me think of how sad a world that we live in, to know that even though it is only fiction, things like this happen all over the world, and no one does ever hear the cries for help.
I didn't notice that it was a poem. It didn't seem to have the same flow that I am used to with your other work, the raw emotion. It's a good piece of work though. Keep it up!
Posted: Sep 18, 2008
Man, this is a good short story, it does show how reality can sometimes be cruel, be it fiction or not. In the real world, even heroes get jacked up...good stuff!
Posted: Oct 4, 2008
Wow. It was great. => So sad, but so moving. Awesome job on this one.
Posted: Oct 7, 2008
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