Ever remember something you tried so hard to forget? For many reasons I tried to shake that memory off. Yet, now it's back, only because you're back in town. Why did you have to come back? Haven't you destroyed me enough?
It all occured months ago. I had just turned twenty three, and I went to the bar with some friends for drinks. Which they offered to buy, considering it was my birthday and all. We had our fun, our laughs, and our jokes. Yet, it was getting late and I had a job to go to tomorrow morning, and I certainly did not need a hang over. I would be fired. I am a preschool teacher. I already was going to be cranky since it was already about one in the morning and I had to be at the school by 5 am.
I said my farewells to my friends as I left. It was dark, and getting darker. I waited and waited for the bus to arrive, but it never did. So I figured I would walk home. I only lived about five or six blocks from the bar, so it wasn't that far away. I started to walk. I heard leaves crunch behind me, yet I never looked back. I was withdrawed from everything since I was so tired, and a bit buzzed. Sex on the beach was my best friend, and yet my worse enemy at the same time.
I had seen the bushes move which is what made me increase my speed. Then all of a sudden a hand covered my mouth pulling me into the bushes. I bit the hand and tried to escape as who ever grabbed my leg and pulled me down. I screamed, but he covered my mouth again. Which smothered my cries for help. He started to rip my pants off, and then my panties. I sqruimed trying to get away from his grip. He then unzipped his pants, and stuck it in. The more he was inside me the more I paniced and cried. I didn't understand why this was happening to me. I tried to get away more and more, but he was much stronger than me. He continued to do his business and when I looked at his face, I realized who it was. I knew my attacker. He then hit me, and came inside me. He zipped and pants and ran. I laid there still, not wanting to move. I was still shocked by what happened and who did it. I pulled my panties, and pants up and continued to walk home. Not telling anyone what had happened or who did it.
After three years of trying to forget, you came back into town. I was doing my usual morning route, and stopped to get coffee, as I seen you there I walked inside slowly and got into line. You looked at me and smiled. As your wife walked out the ladies room. "Oh my gosh, Sarah Trillems, what a surprise seeing you here." As she hugged me, motioning for me to come sit with her family. I stopped being friends with Jackie the night her husband raped me. She didn't know what he did, but it stilled bugged me to be around her, cause I knew he would be somewhere lerking.
I placed my order and went to sit down with Jakie and Mark. He stared at me, and I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking about. They called my name to get my order, and Jackie jumped up "No worries Sarah, i'll pay for you, you wait right here." I wish she didn't say that so I wouldn't have to sit here longer with him eye balling me. "Do you have an issue Mark?" I questioned him, as my voice remained cold. He smiled "No, just staring, why are you insecure for some reason?" He asked amusingly. Like he knew what he did, like he was proud of himself. "No i'm not insecure, if anything i'm a victim of a proud man, who shouldn't be too proud." He winked at me as Jackie sat back down and handed me my coffee. I stood up "I hate to be rude, but I must really be going now." I left in a hurry. Seeing his face really stuck a nerve.
Later that night I got a phone call from Jackie's house. "Hey" I answered. "Look bitch, you try starting anything and I will end you." Mark said hanging up. I laid in bed thinking about what he said until I fell asleep. I woke up to being tied to my bed, and my pants and panties off. Mark was ontop of me, doing his business again. I tried to yell when I realized there was tape over my mouth. I felt the tears rushing down my face. He went deeper and harder. Thrusting as hard as he could until he came again inside of me. I felt so filthy and I felt as if I betrayed Jackie in some type of way.
Before he left he untied me and thanked me for being so good during the time he spent on top of me. I stared at him, my eyes burning from how many tears I cried. He kissed me on the forehead and left. Like the sicko thought we had some type of imaginary twisted relationship. I let him get away with it the first time, which I shouldn't have. This time I called the police. They came in no time, and did a rape kit which they found fluids, which belonged to Mark. They got his warrent for DNA and proved it was his. The ropes showed I was tied, and the marks around my mouth show that I had tape covering it for a long period of time.
We had to go to court. It didn't last long, with all the evidence we had against him, he got put away for life. Jackie blamed me, and didn't want anything to do with me. I didn't blame her. I put her husband of five years away, and the father of her two children. I was nothing to her anymore. I got my justice, yet I was still scared to walk at night alone, so I try to never go out. The memory of what happened to me haunts me, and it makes me question every move I make. I no longer can trust anyone, not even people that were close to me before this happened. I was valided, and I was scarred. I was left with a memory that made me feel so filthy everytime it reenters my head. It makes me scared for my life, like every one is going to hurt me. I know I can't keep being scared of life, but I can't shake the memory of my innocence being stolen right from me on one forshaken night.