I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to do what I did. It was an accident but who is going to believe me? No one ever believes me. "You're untrustworthy," They say. But how could they possibly know me? Some of them have never met me throughout my entire life and they are already making assumptions about me.
"I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't mean to," I mumble to myself.
I hear a familiar voice repeat my name over and over. It's ringing through my ears, concern carried with it. The voice almost seems cold but I know that it cares. Does it know what I did? Will I have to explain? I look in the direction of where the voice came from.
"What happened to you?" He asks.
"What do you mean?" I close my eyes searching my mind for answers.
All of a sudden I can't remember. What happened, what did I do? Why am I so anxious? Why do I feel so scared and afraid? All of the questions unanswered, waiting for some sort of solution.
"Look at you," He waves his arms in my direction. "You're all dirty. Is that--is that blood?"
I look down at my body. My white shirt was now a deep brown and red color. I raise my arms in front of my face, twisting them left and right. It was red, fresh red, thick liquid on my arms. Cole was right, it was blood. My clothes, my hands, and my face is covered in it.
Flashes of different images quickly flash through my mind. I remember now, I remember what I did. I remember why I am scared and I remember that I have consequences to face. I look up at Cole with a weary expression. I am scared but I have to tell him before anyone else has the chance to.
"Cole," I step towards him. "I have to tell you something."
"What happened?" He is scared, I can see it in his eyes.
"First, answer a question," I ask with hopeful eyes.
"Okay," He nods.
"What about me? How do you feel about me?"
"W-what? Why?" He stutters.
"Just answer it please."
"I-I," He averts his gaze for a brief moment and looks back into my eyes. "I love you, Katie but I'm confused. About--"
"I know why you're confused but that's all I need to know." I smile at him and press my dirty hand to his cheek.
"I love you too, Cole."
Without hesitation, I kiss him on his lips. He did not hesitate either. The kiss got deeper and I started to pull away. That is all I need to know from him, did he love me? Cole does love me and now I can go away feeling somewhat happy. I look into Cole's eyes and step back, my face darkening.
"You might not love me after you hear this," I look away.
"What is it." Cole starts to step towards me and I quickly spin around.
"I," I take a big, shaky breath. "I killed someone."
"You what?!?" I close my eyes tight and take another deep breath hearing Cole step back in surprise.
"It was an accident," I start. "But in a way, I guess it was on purpose....I mean, no! I think it was an accident."
"I don't understand," Cole whispers.
"I didn't know what to do. It all happened so fast." I close my eyes again and replay the scene through my mind.
"I killed them and now I'm sure no one will listen to me."
"Who," He asks.
"The police," As I say those words I hear a faint siren. They were coming for me, they knew I was hear. I turn around and look at Cole again. "It was an accident, Cole. I didn't mean to."
"But," Cole takes a deep breath. "It doesn't change anything."
"It doesn't?" I ask, my heart fluttering in my chest.
"No," He smiles. "I still love you, I always will."
"Me too, I love you too!"
I run to Cole, throwing my arms around his neck. I can hear the sirens get louder as the cars come closer but I don't care. I press my lips to Cole's and kiss him as long as I can. I hear the screeching sound of tires abruptly stopping and the opening of car doors.
"Put your hands above your head!!!" The voice yells. I step back and raise my hands in the air, whispering one last "I love you" to Cole.
I feel a pair of hands bring my arms behind my back. Cold metal touches my wrist and locks around them.
"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you....."
The room is cold and I can feel the soft breeze through my clothes. I look down and see an orange jumpsuit on my body. I look up feeling the bright light invading my eyes. I try to reach up and shield my eyes from the light but my arms wouldn't move. I was tied up. Where was I?
I squint my eyes and look around. Metal bars surrounded the room and I see two men standing on the opposing side. I look to my left and see a room with a one-way mirror. All of a sudden, I realize where I am. I wasn't going to see Cole again. I wasn't going to feel his lips on mine again, I wasn't going to be able to tell him that I loved him again.
"What do a have to say for yourself?" I hear a deep voice ask, assuming he was the prosecutor.
"It was an accident! I didn't mean to! You have to believe me!" I plead. The prosecutor stepped into the light and I could see a defiant look in his eyes.
"There was no accident about his death," He breathed venomously.
I look towards the man on the side and see him mouth the words "I believe you." I knew he didn't, he didn't believe a word I said. Even if he did, that wouldn't change anything. The other man already made up is mind, he has already decided. There is no changing anything.
"Any last words?" The prosecutor asks.
"You wouldn't believe me if I had any," I say turning my head to my side and closing my eyes.
This is my last minute, my last few seconds. I replay everything that happened this night through my mind. The guy, the murder, the blood, and Cole. Everything flashing before my eyes in a matter of seconds. This was is, this was the final stand. My judgement day.