CHAPTER ONE: THE ENCOUNTER
well slim what do u want me to do with her i cant do this bymyself anymore! i didnt ask for this shit!
i cant take her to your mother she doesnt even like us!
oh...oh yea! well fuck you! never call here again! (CLICK!)
That was the last conversation i remember my mom having before she packed up my things and took me to the girls home.
lets go baby hogany...
mommy were are we go-----
LETS GO!...my mother grabed me and my bags and we were out the door...i was only 4 at the time and that is were my life started. i was never to see my mother agian untill ten years later when i got a call from a friend of hers telling me i needed to see her right away. i had to request a leave form to go see her i usually jus stay in the home unless they made us go out for feild trips or girls day. which is were we went out to purchase our toiletries tampons pads makeup ect. but i was very curious to see what it was my mother wanted to see me about. maybe she was ready to make amends? or maybe worse. but i was soon to find out.
The day i went to see my mother. i had bad nerves.what was i going to say? i was so angry for her leaving me at that place i always dreamed of me findind her and slapping her dead across the face. i was sure i was ready to tell her a piece of my mind. but then something came over me when i finally found her place of residence.
She was in a hospce house for aids patience. basicaly were they go to die if they wish not to die in the hospital. they send them there to go comfortably. and here i was standing at the door going to see my mother.
a tall blond haired lady with strong green eyes slowly openend the door. she looked a lil annoyed with me standing there. so i spoke up.
uhh uh hi im here to see magnolia james? im...im her...
oh yes mahagony! she said. we were waiting on you i contacted you last week i wasnt sure if u would come. im so glad u made it.
yea...i had to get a pass first and sometimes there slow on doing paper work. um is she okay? i havent seen her in ten years whats going on?
well mahagony why dont you come in and talk to her for your self shes waitn for you in her room. room 107 to the left over there go ahead and talk to her.
my heart dropped for a split second. So many thoughts racing through my head. now i go from angry to sad to confused i just needed to see her and find out whats goin on. i had questions. she had answers.
as i walked down the hallway i notcied it seemed cold and quiet. overly clean. i thought this is were people come to die? it was a door that read maggi. thats wat everybody use to call her i remembered that much. i could smell the same perfume she used to wear. and it brought a tear to my eye. the memories were coming back to me.
but. I wiped my face and changed my demenor as if nothing mattered or bothered me. i walked in and there she was. my mother.
she almost looked the same but i could tell she was sick. she had sores on her face, she was thin, and her hair was gray she was only 31. so i knew it was bad.
i hear a soft voice scatter across the room towards me....
come over here i wont bite.
all i could do was stare i was so lost for words i always said this wld be the day i fuck her up for leaving me. but looking at her all i could do was stare.
how are you honey?
im fine mother. i turned to face her window to diffuse eye contact with her
u look jus like him i swear .....cough!...cough cough...look baby im sor-----
im NOT your baby...u had me and gave me away! i only came to see what was up and now i see extactly wats up! your on your death bed now u want to make a mends?!
i know your angry but i dont have much time and i just wanted to tell u i always loved u i would of came back but....
but what?..as i turned to look at her she must have fallin asleep from the morphine they had been pumping into her for her pain. but what? i thought to myself. apart of me wanted to shake her awake. i needed answers but why do i wanna hug her? why do i feel the need to just kiss her and hold her and cry in her arms to tell her how much she hurt me? i was so torn at this point. i felt the tears forming in my eyes it burned so bad...but not here. i soon got up kissed my mother on the forhead n ran out the door.my mother died three days later..and all i could think of was but what?
there was one thing i knew. i was never going to be like her. im my own woman now..and i couldnt wait to get out that hell hole. yea that be the day.
my mothers funeral was small and brief, but i got to meet my cousins i hadnt seen in awhile and my moms only sister marylin my mom and her was the talk of the town in there day so beautiful with there long natrual curls and curves pretty brown sun kissed skin. i was blessed just like them and i saw were i got my figure from it kinda made me giggle to myself a bit. i notice a boy in the aile across from me he and i favored each other so i knew he was my aunts son mahkye next to him were his two sisters magic and mistic. they were the cutest twin sisters i ever seen i used to be jealous of them i wanted a twin so bad. they had two diffrent personalities but were thick as theves never saw them apart.
as mahkye made his way to me i began to feel clamy and nervous i took a deep breath but by the time i tried to exhale there he was with his hand reached out for mine. he had grown up for sure. his athletic built told me he played sports in school. he was 2 years older then me and he to had curly hair like his mom but he took after his father who i was told to be a cuban man. aunt marylin was no joke i see. she had three beatiful kids. but then why did my mom get rid of me? i couldnt help but think about what she said or was tryn to say before she died. it was eating me alive i needed to know the truth to as of why my mother would give up her only daughter at 4. but now was not the time
hi mahkye im mahogany.
girl i know who u is come here!
he gave me a big hug. we missed u lil cuz hope to see around more often.
yea me to. so who is all fam here evn tho i dont see many here.
well cuz we all fam thats yo cuzn barb over n that row. over there thats ya cuzin vinny he from new york but him n aunt maggi was close.
so u was close to my mom?
yea your mother was an amazing woman i didnt know why she took u away but my mom always said we were to young to understand so i just stopped asking.
i do now she talked about you and she wasnt the same when you left. but lets move past that and start over cuz? huh? wat do u say?
well im still in that hell hole i gotta be back in 4 hours the gave me a 6 hour pass today cuz of mom but i cant be late. will you keep in touch? we can talk and write
sure cuz id like that. gimmie your info so i can write ima write you today
i was a bit hesitant for the fact that i hadnt seen them in years and it jus all seem so unreal to me this jus happened overnite it seemed, but he was the only tie i had to family so i gave him the address
and two days later i got my first letter.
wasup how are you! i told ya i would write haha....
well i just wanted to let you know i cant wait till you get out of there so we can kick it! i missed my lil cuzin
is there any thing u need my mom says jus let her know ok!
also...the twins said hey and keep your head up in there....
well love u cuz n write back soon
i was starting to feel warmth inside my heart like love. something i didnt know of in a group home noone shows you any love just feed you till u 18 then u out the door. well im ready to go now...i dont see how ima make it 4 more years in here...
this hell hole...