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Two hitmen are in an elevator, going to the top floor of a skyscraper and pretty soon the subject of spirituality comes up.

Submitted:Dec 20, 2010    Reads: 46    Comments: 3    Likes: 1   

Connor and Willie walked into the lobby elevator and Connor pressed the "Close Door" button before anyone else could join them. Both men wore sharp black suits with long black overcoats and black gloves. Connor bore a red tie, and Willie a dark blue one. They looked like a couple of well-to-do businessmen. They were not businessmen, though, they did have business to tend to. The doors closed and Willie pressed the penthouse button, a whole sixty-two floors from where they were now.

Connor was Caucasion, and he had his light brown hair was brushed forward and spiked up in front. He had only whiskers for facial hair. Connor was just about six feet tall but not quite there. Willie had an ocean wave fade going for him, and he was shaven clean. He stood a little over six feet tall and had a small diamond earring on his left ear.

They both pulled out pistols and silencers and attached the latter to the guns. For a few moments they were silent as they clean, silver elevator carried them slowly upwards.

"What's this guy's name again?" Connor asked, breaking the silence.

"I think it was Steven Hill, or some shit," Willie replied.

"Yeah that was it, Steven Hill," Connor concluded.

It was quiet for a few moments.

"You know," it was Connor who broke the silence once again, "we've pulled off like three jobs together, but we've never really had time to talk, you know? I know nothing about you."

Willie shrugged, "I never really thought about it. But yeah, I guess you're right. What you wanna' know?"

Connor frowned and shrugged, then laughed a bit, "I don't know man; you got any family?"

"Yeah," Willie nodded, "I got three brothas and two sistas. My momma died a while back, God bless her soul. How about you?"

"Uh...I got a mom. My dad died in a car crash when I was two. I've got a sister."

"That's nice, man," Willie replied. "Well, sorry about your daddy, but I meant your momma and sistah."

"Yeah, and you too. What about your dad?"

"Never knew the nigga."


"Don't be, I ain't sorry. I grew up to be a decent mother fuckah just fine without his bitch-ass," Willie said with contempt.

"You kill people for a living," Connor countered with a half-smile on his face.

"Man...shut up."

Again, more silence. The elevator had been rigged to keep going up, never stopping for anyone else until it had reached the penthouse. They were only on the fifteenth floor.

"So you believe in God?" Connor asked.

"What? Oh, yeah I guess," Willie replied without much interest. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering, 'cause you said 'God bless her soul' when you were talking about your mom," Connor explained.

"Well," said Willie, as he shrugged and looked at Connor, "my momma always took me to church when I was a kid. You know, hearin' the gospel, listenin' to the Reverend, all that good shit. I never really paid attention though - it scared the shit out of me when niggas' eyes would roll into the back of their head when they were touched by the Reverend." They shared a laugh, it felt good for both of them, letting go of some of the nerves that held them down before the job.

Willie continued, "No, but yeah, I never really paid any attention to what the hell was goin' on, I was a kid. I know the basics, God made everything, and Jesus came to tell us about him. What about you man?"

Connor was still laughing a bit, but after a few seconds he said, "I'm actually a pretty devoted Catholic."

"A Catholic huh?" Willie replied with a nod. "I don't get the difference between all of the different types of Christianity."

"They're all really similar," Connor replied nodding, "yeah, I don't know everything about the different types, but what seperates Catholicism from a lot of them, is that we receive Communion, you know, the whole 'Jesus in a cracker' belief."

"Wouldn't that be like, cannibalism or some shit - eatin' Jesus?" Willie asked with a grin, his white teeth in heavy contrast with his dark skin.

Connor shrugged and laughed a bit, "Yeah I guess so, cannibalistic Christians. What's what Catholicism really is."

They both laughed and then simultaneously looked up to see what floor they were on. Floor thirty one, halfway there.

"My momma always told me," Willie said, "anything bad I ever did was givin' me a better chance to go to Hell. That true?"

"Well, no, not really; it's complicated," Connor answered, checking his pistol.

"We've got time," Willie suggested.

"Alright, well," Connor began, "every sin that you commit puts you in Purgatory for a while, and so that time stacks up with every sin you commit. Purgatory is kinda like being in between Heaven and Hell, you know. After you do your time in Purgatory, you can go to Heaven. Or you can confess your sins to a priest and you'll be all cleared up."

"Just like that?" Willie asked, interested.

"Yeah, just like that," Connor answered with a definite nod.

"That pretty damned convenient," Willie laughed. "So how do you get into Hell?"

"You seem pretty determined to get in," Connor grinned.

Willie shook his head and smiled, "No man, I wanna' know what not to do."

"I know, I'm just screwin' with you," Connor replied. "You believe in God, right?"


"Then don't worry, the only way you go to hell is not believing in God. You're good."

Willie nodded and licked his bottom lip before smiling, "That's good to hear my man, good to hear."

"But, now that you're not ignorant, you've got a duty. You need to confess some shit before you die, or you're going to be in Purgatory for one hell of a long time."

They both laughed and Willie nodded and said, "Aight, sounds good. I think I can do that. I got a question for you though."

"Shoot," Connor replied.

"I'm sure you kill someone most every day. Man, surely you don't-"

"I confess every day," Connor nodded. "I do it, 'cause I know that someday, someone's probably going to kill me for the things I've done. And I want my slate clean with God as often as possible."

"Damn man," Willie said, a bit exhasperrated, "that's a lot of confessin'. How do you know the priest won't go and tell the police?"

"They can't, that's the beauty of it, they're not allowed to do that," Connor replied. "If they do, they are released from being a priest. Even if it's the cops they're telling."

"That sounds pretty sweet to me," Willie said, inspecting his pistol a bit. Connor nodded and did the same as Willie.

The elevator pinged and both of them jumped and looked up at the digital counter. It read "62".

They both cocked their guns and made sure their silencers were screwed on tightly. Willie said, "I hope this guy believes in God."

Connor laughed and nodded in agreement, "Yeah, I hope so too. Let's make this bastard nice and holey."

"Holy?" Willie asked confused. "Oh! "Holey"" he laughed a bit, "I get it."

The doors opened and the two hitmen walked into the penthouse, guns raised, ready to make someone holey.


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