Why what you dumb fuck?
"Why can't they have meat loaf?" Kaleb looked at the guy next to him, the one obsessing over meat loaf. The only why he wanted to know was, why is this guy sitting here? Instead he just shrugs and continues eating what was served, chicken. Chicken seems to be fucking everywhere now.
"I mean, everyone likes meat loaf, wouldn't logic have them wanting to please their patients and serve meat loaf". Seat man sadly pokes at his chicken. "It's all a ploy to make us miserable, I know it".
Does he even know this guy?
He saw Ryan Martin walk by to get seconds, he won't get any. That doesn't stop him from asking every day; can't get it through that fat head that they won't double stuff that fat stomach. Chris Tavern sits in the corner like he did every Thursday and chewed on his plate, once he accomplished eating his cup holding orange juice; not one drop of OJ entered his mouth.
Even in a place housing the insane, people that are supposed to be out of the ordinary are just broken records in life.
Nothing ever changes.
Kaleb got up, threw out his microwave chicken and walked through the room of drooling blank faces. What made this place bearable was the bliss of truth, besides the staff no one faked. Everyone here was fucked up and they never hide it.
Seat man didn't notice his absence, just kept asking why.
Group theory was in an hour; Kaleb had it with Frank Montez, Seth Woods, Murphy O'Brien, and some queer called Swifty. Kaleb swore to any god up there that if Mr. Swift hit on him one more time he'll break his fingers. He wouldn't be able to masturbate, that'll surely kill him. The worst part about those sessions is that quack, Dr. Hector Bourges. Kaleb liked to call him, in his head of course, Hector the Molester. Supposedly he molested a nine year old girl back in Vermont. That's not why he can't stand him; he hates that smug look on his face as he knows that he is the only barrier between them and the door.
Wondering the grounds for a bit would calm him before seeing the good doctor, he missed his sister.
Dr. Bourges looked long and hard at each of the men around him for the current session. Seth Woods, the shy boy convinced he was abducted by E.T., not general aliens just Steven Spielberg's E.T. Swifty looked like a five year old overstuffed with fat, admitted on his own accord after he became depressed from his boyfriend leaving him for a body builder; losing weight rather than checking himself into an institution for depression would have been easier. Murphy and Frankie were too boring to think about. None of that mattered anyway today, today the Bourges focused on Kaleb Magill. Skinny little ginger, practically a mute.
He looked at the doctor, waiting for him to continue.
"How about we talk about you today, why you were transferred here."
Why does he always focus on that, so he attacked his previous doctor at his first institution; he had a reason for it, he wouldn't have tried to bite a man's ear off for no reason.
"Can you tell me why you felt the need to hurt your former psychologist?"
Why can't he figured it out himself, he's the expert apparently, all he did was stare at him waiting for him to accept he still won't talk and move on to the next poor bastard.
"You jumped on a doctor one night in your previous hospital. Can you tell me why, you attack a man that wasn't even your doctor, and you never saw him before. Why did you see him as a threat?"
He was just the first doctor he saw that night, nothing special about him. A violent attack on staff had to happen that night; Doctor Declan Traiger was just convenient then. Kaleb always hated doctors, at the age of five he turned the shot needle around on his doctor to try and stab him with it.
Yes, no, move on already.
He finally moved on, "Murphy, let's take off where we left with you". The session went on till the clock struck 2:15 p.m. Time for socializing in the common room.
April 24 4:10 p.m.
It's been 3 months 5 days 27 minutes and 2 seconds he's been here. The other place has a better paint job . Seat man is seated next to him again, poking at his lasagna, "Why don't they have meat loaf?"
Kaleb liked to talk every now and then, keep them on their toes
"They had meatloaf yesterday" voice croaking from non-usage, "they can't have it every day".
Seat man turned to him with shrunken eyes, "They should have it again". The seriousness of his statement made Kaleb want to laugh out loud, do an LOL. He settled for laughing inside, LIS. What a bunch of losers he was stuck with, why? A few nurses began walking to the front and through the double doors, leading to the office. Kaleb looked through the door and saw that a new patient was on the highway to hell. They escorted a girl in the hallway, brown hair with eyes so dark they were black, face with almost nothing there. She doesn't move or blink or nothing, just stand there staring at the wall. Kaleb wanted a closer look but the steel doors denied him this. After sorting all the junk they needed to sort she was led to the common room.
It was normal for one nurse, Debra, who would tell the others the newbie's name; Debra came in the room with the girl and said aloud "everyone this is Ruby, a fresh face". No one cared or even heard her, no one looked up.
She looked at Kaleb without blinking and sat at the table on the other side. He couldn't stand to hear the meat loaf bitching another minute and got up to move, ended up at her side.
"What to know why I'm here?" Damn those black eyes could burn through cement.
She shrugged, "Ok, I won't tell you if you don't want to know", turning back to the wall and stared at it. Silence between them broken with her murmuring singing.
"ONE TWO Freddy's coming for you"
"THREE FOUR better lock your door"
"FIVE SIX grab your crucifix"
"SEVEN EIGHT gonna stay up late"
"NINE TEN never sleep again".
This repeated for a while, eventually stopping the signing with the comment "I love Freddy".
Kaleb wanted to speak. "That's the guy from Elm Street right?" Voices of people that never speak sound horrible to their own ears.
She smiled though "Ya, he's so cool, creepy as hell but cool. Love his gardening claw".
April 26 11:00a.m.
Ruby sticks with Kaleb most of the time, no one else ever talks to her, he enjoys her company. A calming presence. Today he has an appointment for a private session with Bourges, requested by him.
"What's with that meat loaf dude? Why does he love it so much? Just a slab of greasy meat. Meat is murder, we should never eat it" She turned toward seat man, seated next to them. "Stop clogging your arteries with meat". He was too absorbed with poking at the mashed potatoes to hear her.
The girls aren't supposed to be with the boys in the morning hours or the night hours but Ruby sneaks out to see her only friend here. Always around, he didn't mind at all.
The time came for his private session.
"Kaleb I understand you requested this". He simply stared.
"May I ask why? What do you wish to discuss?"
Time to speak
"I want to talk about my sister".
It's funny, he could tell Bourges wasn't expecting him to speak; almost jumped out of the chair at his voice.
"Oh, your sister. Ok what about your sister?" He wasn't expecting this to be a real session with the quite ginger.
"She's dead". Why sugar code it, they're in mental building anyway.
"Is her death troubling you? May I ask when she died?"
"It was a while ago, but yes it still troubles me", he leaned closer to the doctor, "troubles me quite often".
"I can't seem to cope without her, I need her". He changed his gaze target to a spot on the wall and stared. "Someone took her away from me, and that's killing me".
It been three hours since his session and he's waiting, waiting ,
waiting for something to happen. Ruby sits next to him, asking
why he never talks, asking what's wrong. He turned to her, "I
never talk because I have nothing to say". She laughed "how
profound". A screamed echoed through the ward, high pitch, a
woman clearly. Lots of noise rudely interrupted his thoughts,
people running and yelling. "Oh My God, Oh My God, Hector! Oh God
Hector!!" The shrieking remained loud and piercing down the hall.
A whole crowd surrounded the office where the cause of the
commotion was; even some patients broke from their haze to notice
Kaleb looked over at Ruby, who was trying to look over at the drama from where she sat, "What'd you think happened?"
He just shrugged.
One of the nurses walked in where the patients all were, some red smears on her white uniform. "Ok everyone, time to go to your rooms. We just have to have everyone out of the area".
Kyle Morgan looked up from his checker board, glanced at the clock then at her. "But, its only 5:00 p.m. not time to go to bed yet".
A fake, strained smile was applied to the nurse, "Mr. Morgan, the time is changing for today, just for today. Everything's fine, ok".
"What do you mean the time is changing? The time isn't 5:00 so we can't go to our rooms yet". Kyle Morgan was going to rip his hair out soon.
"Well today it's not going to be five o'clock it's going to be now" that was cue for the staff to come and take every patient away to their rooms, having to explain it to those not paying attention.
Kaleb wondered what they'll do.
Hector Bourges lay on his back with blood covering the front of
his coat and a portion of the floor, what looked like to be two
stab wounds in him.
Nurse Hanna Moore stood in the doorway of the office, crying with both hands blocking her face. The staff doctor, Isaac West seemed to be inspecting the body, with the ambulance on its way with the police what the fuck else would they do? Not that the ambulance would even do anything at this point.
"Had to be one of the patients".
"Of course it was one of those psychos" Nurse Hanna Moore screamed, arms flailing around. "Who the fuck else would have done such a thing?!"
Isaac West knew it was only a rhetorical question but he still felt like answering, "Well technically it could have been anyone in the building, I mean this place has more than just patients here and every one of them is capable of holding a sharp object. He did sleep with Nurse Evens then not call her, could have been her".
"It wasn't Sarah you dumbass".
"Ok, Ok calm down Jesus".
"Don't tell me to calm down, there is a dead body in front of me" she cried harder.
He stopped listening , "Damn I knew a few patients hated him but I didn't think they would actually act on it".
Hanna might have shited a cow. "Isaac half of the people here were admitted for potentially violent behaviors!"
"Ok, will you calm the hell down, come on". He pulled her out to sit somewhere in the hall, just to not hear her crying.
The police came through the doors after seemingly an eternity . Inspecting the body, questioning the staff, asking for private session records, patient files with violent history, yadda yaddda yaddda.
He could hear them out there, walking around. Figuring out what
to do. They'll probably in here soon to question the patients, or
at least the functional ones. Eventually one nurse came in,
walking around to select a few; Kaleb was the seventh person
selected. Led to the hallway and seated in chairs not there
before. The girls came out from their side, only eight of them,
Ruby was the fourth in line. They sat in a row as one by one they
were led to the front office, could of appeared to be an
execution but behind that door were police officers ready to
interrogate us, might as well of been an episode of Criminal
"Red" came out with a pissed off frown, Lori Thracher came out sobbing with snot flooding out her noise. Kaleb was picked after Mike Watson.
Walking in he heard Nurse Kira Lee inform the officers of he "This one suffers from Selective Mutism, barely talks to anyone". Why does everything in the world have a label?
He sat in the chair in front of officer lardo without instruction and waited for the questions.
"So, Mr. Magill, you're aware that Dr. Bourges was found dead this afternoon".
Kaleb only nods.
"Good, now we just want to ask you some simple questions. We just want to rule you out from our suspect list, we know you probably didn't do it but its procedure, Ok?"
Cleary the 'good cop' in this scene.
"Ok, you had a private therapy session with Dr. Bourges at 3:00 p.m. this afternoon, is that correct?"
"Can you tell us what you talked about?"
Nurse Kira Lee spoke up "that's private information between patient and doctor".
"Well seeing how that can no longer be a problem since the doctor is dead, I am asking".
Kaleb waited to answer, he was a selective mute right? "It is the anniversary of my sister's death".
"Oh, well I'm sorry about that, but I must ask how long did your session last?"
Like he actually remembers. "Maybe 30 minutes long, I don't talk much . Didn't last long".
"Ok, now did you see anyone on your way out of the office?"
What a stupid question lardo, "Of course I saw people, this is a hospital with the main doctor's office close to the common room, there's always people".
Officer Steven Wells, a.k.a. Lardo, didn't like sarcasm during his questioning time. He forced a smile while Kaleb made a fake look of innocence. "Haha right, well did you notice anyone looking suspicious?"
"People here are suffering from mental disorders, half of them look suspicious." He was laughing aloud on the inside.
Officer glared now, "how about someone that had a thing against the doc?"
Kaleb put on a confused look "Everyone hated him".
Nurse Kira Lee piped up, "that's not true Kaleb, he was a well-respected doctor".
Officer ignored her, "Ok um Mr. Magill let me rephrase that, did you see anyone, no umm.... do you know any patient here that would act out on hatred against Dr. Bourges?"
He threw them a bone, shook his head no.
"Ok, one last thing Mr. Magill I would just like to talk about the reason you were transfer to this facility. You attack a doctor at the one you previously were at, tried to bite his ear off". He pulled out a file, why does the police always pull out a file about a person while they ask them something? Is it to show they know all about you?
He stared blankly
Officer tried again "You were involved with an attack on a doctor before".
Kaleb was getting bored "I know I was involved I was there".
Officer Lardo was about to snap the boy's neck.
Patients walked in and out through the night till it got too late
for some of them, Stacy Hamilton began screaming that if she's
not asleep by midnight the harpies will snatch her. The police
thought it'd be better to finish this the next morning. After
escorting Sierra Reese out while she recited the lines from
Titanic, they left.
Escorted back to bed they all followed the nurses like the good little dogs they were treated as. Ruby appeared next to while everyone started leaving. "They must not have questioned you long, in there for only a little while" He shrugged but commented, "I'm probably on their suspect list anyway".
"Oh yes, no doubt based on your attempt to eat someone's ear, you're so weird". Kaleb never said anything back.
He never told her about the ear thing though.
April 27 10:15 a.m. they are waiting, waiting for the police to
come back and continue the C.SI episode, no one liked them here.
They disrupted everything. Murphy O'Brien sat in the corner
looking at the door on and off for at least an hour, he was
The reasons for his jitters were answered at 10:43 a.m. The police walked through the door and he jumped out his seat with a whole hearted confession.
"I did it, I killed him", falling on the floor wrapped in his robe. "I did it", crying like brand new baby fresh in the world, "I'm sorry I didn't mean too!" After the shock of it wore off they hauled off the ground to be placed in the head office area.
Nurse Kira Lee kneeled in front of Murphy while he sat like a rag
doll in a chair, holding his arms around himself.
"Murphy, did you attack Dr. Bourges?"
He nodded frantically, sobs escaping "y-ye-ss". He began rocking back and forth.
Steven Wells studied this mess happening in the front of the room, "Son, how did you do it?" Asking about specific details still remained a quick tactic to tell if he did it or just having a mental attack.
Murphy stopped rocking and looked hard at the floor tiles. "I stole a knife from the kitchen and stabbed him with it" sob "I didn't mean to really kill him".
"What time did this occur?"
More sobs, "I don't know, it was after that red head left the office, I guess maybe three or something".
"Where did you stab Dr. Bourges?"
He seemed confused "In the office?"
Wells wondered if every nut job in this nut house had a head full of rocks. "No I mean with the knife".
He got even more upset "why aren't you arresting me? I'm a murderer".
"Can you just tell me how you killed him, I forgot, please".
"Ok" sobbing "I pushed the knife here" he pointed "and here" pointed again "and then he fell over gasping". The places he pointed to were the same spots where Bourges was stabbed.
Murphy began to shake with his tears "I had no choice, he put the chip in me, wouldn't take it out" sobs "I wanted it out but he wouldn't do it, why wouldn't he do it?"
"I didn't mean to hurt him I just wanted to make him take it out but he wouldn't, it happen before I knew what I was doing".
Kaleb heard Murphy O'Brien's screaming voice across the ward. He
confessed apparently. Ruby, seated next to him, had a pitiful
look plastered on.
"Poor boy, doesn't know he's not interesting enough to have a chip put in him. Oh well, he's a ticking time bomb anyway".
She's right, Murph was paranoid, emotional, and when he isn't freaking out about being tracked by the government he barely moved.
That's a bad threesome.
Kaleb knows he won't get arrested, too unstable mentally. At most good old Murph will be sent to a new facility for the criminally insane where he'll live with real dangerous men; most of those places are never coed.
For the next week Murphy stayed up in the upstairs ward, the solitary corridors.
May 4 2: 33 p.m. the staff has been interviewing doctors, looking
for one that will look past the untimely death of the one they'd
Kaleb's head was enflamed, a haze surrounded his sight; he felt like he was in a dream. Couldn't think or even see straight. Seat man poked at his Alfredo pasta. He had some where to be, he kept a promise and intends on keeping it. The obstacles keeping him from keeping the promise are giving him a headache, fucking nurses hovered over every living thing in the building to make sure no one was shaken up; they're nut jobs not helpless children. He'd wait till they went back to their usual surveillance schedule, which is non-existent. Normally for a place meant to watch and care the staff members didn't supervise anything very long. As long as someone knew the schedule of nurses, guards, doctors, that walked around, knew the layout of the building and had stolen an access card earlier that evening, they wouldn't have a problem sneaking around. Kaleb walked about without the slightest disruption. He made it up to solitary, hardly anyone was there. Only one guard makes rounds up there every now and then, he was currently asleep in his office chair.
Hardly anything scared Kaleb Magill, so he didn't feel the slightest shock when Ruby practically jumped on him from behind, laughing like a mad woman. He just felt a bit annoyed.
"Shut up, I'm trying to be quiet here".
Laughing continued "Oh sorry" laughing "don't want to wake up the big bad wolf?"
Kaleb shrugged "even if he catches me it won't matter. I just gotta act loopy and he'll send me back to my room".
She ran down the hall jumping to try and touch the ceiling "yep, crazy always works".
They found the room Murphy O'Brien was in, laying under the bed making whimpering noises. At the sight of his red headed 'friend' he crawled out and sat in a ball on the floor.
"Kaleb, you actually came" he looked so relived.
"Course I came, I promised".
Murphy's eyes pleaded and swam in tears "are you really going to take it out?"
"Yes, I am" walked over to where he sat and crouched next to him. Ruby stood by the door observing with black eyes.
Kaleb pulled out a small knife he stole from a procedure room two days ago, planning to use it for chip removal in Murphy's neck; at least that's what he said he'd do. He walked behind Murph, crouched behind him to level with the back of his neck, asked him to point where the chip rested and got to work. Making an incision here and there, tried not to hurt the shaking mess he was operating on as much as he could looking for an item that's not there. After 15 minutes and 23 seconds he claimed he had the device and pulled it out, Murphy wanted to see it but Kaleb pretended to smash it "it has to be destroyed as soon as it leaves the skin". He let him hug him in complete relief, murmuring thank yous after thank yous.
Kaleb pulled himself out the hug, looked him in the eye and said "now what do you tell them if they ask about your neck?"
Hesitation, he was thinking, "I say that I did it myself, with my nails". Kaleb nodded, "that's right, they won't question. They never question the actions of nut jobs".
"Thank you". God he looked so pathetic like this.
"A deal's a deal Murph".
Ya, deals a deal, Murphy confesses to the murder and Kaleb frees him from Big Brother. Ruby smiles from her spot, "ya deal's a deal Murphy boy".
"Hey do you ever think that the reason they separate insane
criminals from regular criminals is because they are afraid that
the insane ones would influence the regular ones? You know? Why
separate them? Why give the regular criminals more freedom than
the insane ones? Is it to punish them for being not socially
normal, that they dare be abnormal mentally?"
Kaleb listened to her but never answered.
"I mean regular murderers do it by choice but are favored slightly more than us because they function better, you know more normally. But mental illness causes you to not think in the right mind so they didn't totally have a choice. Yet the regular bastards can do some service and take years off their sentence while the people that can't help how they are can only leave when deemed 'fixed'. Those regular ones are more likely to re-commit the same crime they did before and …"
Ruby stopped abruptly. "Sorry, I used to read a lot of Michael Foucault".
May 6, 12:30p.m. today Murphy gets transferred, Kaleb felt a tab
bit guilty as the day went on but Ruby wouldn't have that.
"Someone told me that anyone in Rostand House that shows even the
slightest improvement are sent back to their old hospital or are
just somewhere better with fewer violent people. They want to get
rid of as many patients as they can there, Murphy won't be there
long, and he's not currently violent.
That didn't make him feel any better.
He got over it soon though; Murphy was so quiet while he was here his absence wasn't noticeable.
The day after he left someone came in, a new doctor; Dr. Hans Schoenewolf, clearly German.
Schoenewolf, simple minded but caring wanted to get to know all
the patients individually before he started treatment, group
therapies, activities, or assessments; barely looked at the files
the nurses handed him, he wanted to create his own. Took days to
have a one-on-one with everyone but he eventually did them all,
Kaleb had his on a Thursday afternoon, Ruby also on a
"Kaleb is there anything specific you'd like to discuss with the remaining time we have" this was said after Mr. German man talked to him enough to get a basic diagnosis of him., which wasn't much due to the Selective Mutism Kaleb apparently had.
When he didn't talk the doc decided to bring up subjects, "how about your live back at home, before you were here?" waiting "No? Ok well how about your sister, some nurses told me you've had issues involving her, I understand she passed?"
He just nodded a yes.
"Are you still having trouble coping?"
Kaleb couldn't help but smile a bit, "You could say that"
"Do you feel as if she's still with you".
Kaleb looked behind the doctor to where Ruby sat in a chair behind them and repeated "You could say that".
Today they had meat loaf. Ruby walked around the room, more like
danced while singing "Please Mr. jailer" off tone. She stopped by
him, slide in the spot next to him, changing the song to "Hit the
Road Jack". She was a horrible singer. "You're a horrible
"So what, no one cares". She groaned, "That meat loaf looks good, hadn't had that in 15 years. Wonder if it still tastes the same".
"You know, not all meat loaf tastes universal, depends on who makes it".
"Whatever I still want some". She started at it again. "By the way, I was just wondering when are you going to tell the doctors that you've been seeing your dead sister for years? They might be able to finally help you".
He looked at her annoyingly, "You aren't even real, why you are giving me advice I don't understand".
She laughed "Because suspiciously you wanted to hear that, you just have to have someone else suggest it. Oh and while you admit to imagining your's truly you might also consider telling them who really did off Hector the Molester".
"Why would I do that?"
Those dark eyes bored into him "because deep down you want everyone to know he got what he deserved".
"Kaleb, its ok, ok just calm down". Hector the molester nervously
moved away from his patient; knowing that person with mental
disorder that has that look in their eyes is not a good thing.
Kaleb got closer and closer to the man he loathed for 15 years,
the man he only known for 3 months but knew everything
He got as close as possible without the danger of Bourges getting the jump on him, he then recited what been replaying in his head forever. "Today a local doctor, Hector William Bourges, was arrested for the abduction and sexual assault of a nine year girl. Ruby McDonna was abducted from her bus stop in the early morning two days ago and was found this evening by the police, hidden in Mr. Bourges house. Nine year old Ruby was safely returned to her family", it was a news broadcast. Bourges looked like he saw a ghost, might as well have. Now Kaleb thought it was the best time to answer the million dollar question ,why.
"Ruby McDonna was my sister".
"Know why I said was, my sister? That's because she killed herself four years later, when she was thirteen, couldn't take it anymore".
Bourges looked frozen, paralyzed with fear, knowing fear.
"You took my baby sister away from me". He pulled the kitchen knife he was holding up higher, for it to be seen perfectly. "And now you will finally pay".
Kaleb always had a reason; everything he did was to get to this hospital, to kill this man. Any sane man would of probably have stalked him and done the deed in a dark alley somewhere but Kaleb isn't purely sane. He wanted him to die here, in his precious hospital not to mention helping the insane served as a type of community service and his sentence was shortened. Getting sent to the hospital in Connecticut knowing that the man he wanted was at the hospital two towns over where patients are sent when they show violent behaviors. He made sure he was sent to Arias Mental Health hospital because if he attacked someone they would send him to the closet facility for violent treatment, Berkeley house for Mental Illness, where Hector Bourges was.
"Why did you change it to Magill, sounds like a fish?" Ruby sat next to him on the bed looking the way he imagined she'd look if she reached twenty eight.
"Saw it on Breaking Bad, the lawyer character changed his name from Magill to Goodman. He was my favorite character."
"Why not just keep McDonna?"
"He might of suspected something, he might have known you had a brother named Kaleb; a Kaleb McDonna coming here might have connected some dots in his head".
"I think you just wanted to do something from one of those dumb crime movies you like so much".
He turned to look at her, studied her face for a minute, "Why are you always here, not that I don't like you with me but, why?" She smiled "because you need me, you can function on your own". Pausing for a moment then continuing, "You know I'm not really here, I'm in your head."
He shrugged "I know".
"Then why do you keep asking me why I'm here, you're the one that won't let it go".
"I just felt like asking".