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Article that originally appeared in Urban Pie Magazine.

Submitted:Jun 30, 2011    Reads: 30    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   

Because most people are woefully ill-informed these days about anything that happened more than five minutes ago, we here at Urban Pie have decided to provide our readers with an encapsulation of historical events as a public service to the historically challenged.
This week: Joan of Arc's victory at the siege of Orleans (April 29, 1429).
What do you do if you are the Dauphin of France and half your country has been taken over by English pig dog types? Well obviously you hand over command of your army to a teenage girl who claims to talk to God, hey what have you got to lose right?
Amazingly Joan of Arc succeeds in breaking the siege of Orleans against the English invaders, despite their superior force in numbers. She attacked first via the Loire River, surprising the besiegers and then managed to isolate the English forces and pick them off in groups rather than face them as a single force.
The English commander Talbot was so humiliated he attacked the French forces the following day in a headlong cavalry charge that once again, despite superior numbers ended in crushing defeat for the English.
Later when asked why she had such confidence the Maid of Orleans remarked, "God like totally told me I would win," or whatever the old French version of that phrase is.
So why are teenage girls today wasting time chasing boys at the box social, or whatever it is they get up to, when they could be raising armies and lopping off the heads of English pig dogs? The mind reels, although Joan of Arc did end up being burned at the stake, but that's a small price to pay for immortality.


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