Right! For everyone who's been hiding under a rock and doesn't know, I'm a Muslim convert. I converted on 1st Feb 2013 and took my Shahadah (declaration of faith) on 9th Feb 2013. The only major problem that some people seem to have is not with anything I do/have done, but with my fiancé and the fact that he's not a Muslim, nor am I going to make him convert to Islam.
Now, let me put it like this. I chose Islam. My fiancé did not choose Islam. He is learning about Islam and supports my decision 100%, but he is not going to be a Muslim unless he chooses to. That is a choice only he can make, and is not something that anybody else can or should decide for him. I am not going to make him convert and I am certainly not going to call off my wedding just because my fiancé's not Muslim!
One massive issue I have with this is that we go on about female Muslim converts having a choice about Islam and their decision to wear the hijab, but never consider male Muslim converts and the element of choice that comes with their conversion. Muslim women make a huge noise about how they want people to realise that they chose Islam, and that's a worthy cause, but nobody thinks about Muslim men. Here's an example: my fiancé has a female relative who is a Muslim. She married a non-Muslim man. They are still married, many years on, and he is still not a Muslim (she is still a Muslim).
I give you this example to show you that Muslim women have their own minds and do not need to base their lives upon that of their husband's. If my fiancé chooses not to convert, then that is his choice. If he does, then that is also his choice. I have my own needs, wants and mind and so does he. I am not some dumpy housewife who bases her entire life on what her husband wants to do, where he wants to go or what he wants me to wear. I am a British woman who was raised to think for herself and to do what she wanted to do regardless of what her boyfriend or husband wants. I was not raised to say "Yes husband" or "No husband" to everything, nor was I raised to convert people. Islam does not preach conversion, nor does it require conversion - I have spoken to many people who say that whilst conversion is preferred, it is not essential.
I know that the Quran says that "a disbelieving slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you" [Quran 2:221] and many people say "but how will you raise your children as Muslims", and I will answer that now. I am not raising my children as Muslims. I am not raising them to have any religion whatsoever. They will be raised to know right from wrong and to do the right thing, and when they are old enough to choose for themselves, they can choose what faith to follow. That is, and always will be, their decision and not mine. Call me a sinner if you want, but I think it is a greater sin to force religion upon someone than it is to let them choose their religion.
One woman, Ani Zonneveld, wrote an article about this very subject (http://aslanmedia.com/aslan-media-columns/ummah-wake-up/item/217-can-muslim-women-marry-non-muslim-men?-yes-we-can#.URa5JR11GSo) and I agree wholeheartedly with her. My faith is not defined by who I marry, nor will it ever be. My children will not be raised to believe in anything until they are old enough to choose. Note the word choose.
The other thing people haven't taken into consideration is that my fiancé is an agnostic. Yeah, I said it, he's agnostic. We are getting married in a civil ceremony and that is the end of the matter. If you want to believe I'm sinning, you go for it. However, don't you think if more non-Muslims married Muslims, we could all live in harmony and everyone would be tolerant? After all, marrying into your own religion only breeds an insular society, and insular societies are often targets of intolerance (the Mormons spring to mind). By marrying outside our religion and learning to co-exist successfully, surely we can breed more tolerance and more understanding?
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