Letters Of Regret--Letter #1
For the remainder of the day I was on pins and needles, wishing that time would speed up to the time we agreed to meet. I was in front of my grandmother's house, where I was staying at the time, waiting on the mailman. He had a check for me that I had to have in order to finance my date with you. If you remember I was receiving worker's compensation back then as a result of the car accident I had a few months before meeting you. Unfortunately, the mailman was running very late which meant I was going to be late meeting you. I had no way to contact you to let you know that I would be late. I just had faith that you would wait for me.When the mailman finally showed up I ran into Ike on my way to Karen's house and he told me you were waiting for me upstairs. He told me that I should hurry up because your boyfriend would probably soon come looking for you.
After explaining why I was late, we split up to pick up some things we would need for our first little adventure together. I remember watching you walk away from me and I thought you had the sexiest walk that I've ever seen (you looked just as good walking away from me as you did walking towards me. SMILE) Just thinking about that precise moment still sends waves of heat through me. Again my thoughts of being alone with you started rushing through my mind (I was in full lust mode). Finally, we gathered everything we felt we would need to enjoy ourselves; we jumped into a cab and headed to a hotel. It wasn't a five star hotel, but it was nice enough. Remember it sat on the side of the highway, about 500 yards away from the bridge that separated the Bronx from Queens. The rooms were a nice size, equipped with a nice big bed, mirrors on the walls, TV with adult entertainment and bathroom with a shower. What more could we ask for? If you remember they also had room service for food and drinks, which we took full advantage of. I don't think I ever drank that much before in my whole life.
I can't lie to you, our first date was initially supposed to be a booty call. I just wanted to get at you in the worst way imaginable. After arriving at the hotel, we ate and had a few drinks. I was enjoying your company so much sex was no longer my first priority (who could have known?). I just wanted to know more about you. Without going into any details Karen told me that you had been involved in a lot of dramatic situations throughout your life. Since I was curious to find out what she meant I asked you. You told me "you were raped by a family member when you were thirteen years old". Then while you were living in the Dominican Republic you got pregnant. Your father sent you to New York where your mother was living and you had your first child when you were fifteen years old. Since you had dual citizenship in DR and New York you got connected to some drug dealers and became a drug smuggler for a cartel at the age of seventeen. Then before your eighteenth birthday you stop the smuggling. You told me that you had introduced to the strip club scene while hanging out with the drug dealers you worked for. So getting plugged into the strip club scene was easy for you (plus you had all the qualifications) and you became a stripper from the age of nineteen to twenty-three. While you were working in the clubs, you got heavy into using cocaine. After getting caught up with the drugs you took to prostitution because you weren't able to or just didn't want to keep up with your routine at the strip clubs. Hearing your story filled me with such anger and sadness, that I just wanted to be your knight in shining armor. I remember thinking that if we were back in the dueling days, I would have called out all those that remotely caused you the slightest bit of pain or had a hand in tarnishing your reputation. There was no question in my mind that for you to have endured all that you told me, it took the strength of a strong and remarkable woman, which there is no doubt in my mind that you are.
After hearing your story I figured it was time to lighten the mood, so I ordered a few more drinks. The more we drank the funnier our stories got. We trade stories about cartoons we watched while growing up, mutual people we knew and their crazy habits and some funny situations we both witnessed involving my sister Karen and my brother-in-law Ike. (Your impersonation of my sister Karen was crazy and one of the funniest things I ever heard). I remember we went through a period of laughter that lasted well over a hour, There was a period of time when we couldn't even look at each other without busting into laughter. I laughed at you, you laughed at me and together we laughed at each other. To this day I can't really remember when I had more fun on a first date. As I reflect on that day I think of a Richard Pryor joke "just keep em laughing to keep their mind off the booty." Take you to bed again was no longer my primary objective. (Don't get it twisted it was still an objective (smile)). I was content to just enjoy your company, which I did for the whole weekend.
Bouncing from hotel to hotel, cab rides and keeping our supply of goodies up turned out to be quite expensive. Looking back on it now, the happiest I experienced that weekend with you was worth its weight in gold. I would give anything to be able to go back in time to that day and just stay stuck there for a nice little moment. Friday and Saturday went by real smooth. There was no pressure on you from me for us to have sex. I figured if it was going to happen I wanted it to happen naturally. Before we knew it Sunday night was upon us. We were both lost in our own thoughts. I figured you were worried about having to go home and face your boyfriend. I was worried for you but you said you could handle it, but that still didn't stop me from worrying about you. I also wondered if we would ever have the opportunity to get together again. We share a few pecks here and there while enjoying ourselves, but when you leaned over and kissed me and I felt your tongue slide into my mouth; I knew right then and there that it was about to go down.
When you grabbed my hand and lead me into the bathroom. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to burst. Once inside the bathroom, we began to undress each other and with exposure of your naked flesh the throbbing between my legs increased and began to outpace my heart. I felt like a little kid with a big bag of candy, not knowing what to eat first. Our first shower together was like something out of one of those romance novels. The care and attention that we took washing each other was amazing. Having sex with you for the first time was one hell of an experience, one that I have yet to ever come close to duplicating, even after all this time. I guess you know why I nicknamed you the "BEAST"!!!!!
We made promises to each other to get together again soon, and I know that when we made them we really meant them. Unfortunately you had a boyfriend waiting for you and I had a prison cell waiting for me. I was and had a criminal for quite some time. I enjoyed the fast money, fancy clothes and of course the fast woman that came along with that lifestyle. I was involved in an elaborate check cashing scheme that was very profitable until one of my workers got busted and decided to turn state's evidence on me. Looking back on it now, I just chalk it up as: to being part of the game. If you lice by the sword; sometimes you get cut or you eventually die by that sword. At least I was honest enough to tell you I had to go away for awhile. After meeting you and spending time with you, turning myself into the court was real hard. All I asked of you was for you to take care of yourself, stay out of trouble and for you to stay in contact with Karen. That way I would know how to find you whenever I returned. I wondered if I would ever see you again when we parted. I vowed that no matter what we would see each other again. I REGRET that I had to leave you.
This is how you were when we first met
"ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES, BUT WITH A LOT OF POTENTIAL"
AND YOU STILL ARE AND STILL DO…
MY DOMINICAN QUEEN
I STILL LOVE YOU
MISS YOU VERY MUCH
YOU KNOW WHO
NEVER AS GOOD AS THE FIRST TIME---SADE