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Facts about Twilight: Why it really is worthlessly reading PART ONE

Book By: Rin Erika

This is the book reading report I've done on Twilight last April 27, 2009.

I've received 89% on this one as based by the Jesuit Priests when they read it, my own english teacher gave me an F, but my cousin told me to go complain to the higher administration for the bias my english teacher had made.

Thank you for reading my book reading report, this was edited from 52-pages to 22 pages worth.

Submitted:Jun 13, 2009    Reads: 201    Comments: 16    Likes: 4   

First, I'd like to say thank you to anyone who will come and read this book report I have. This was done last April, in which I had received 89% out from this book reading report in my English subject.

NOTE: please do read about the summary I placed. Please read both of the two parts I have before starting to comment.

-Not everyone likes Twilight
-People who like Twiilght have to and must agree that there are two sides of a coin, and there are people who hate Twilight for a lot of reasons.
-Twilight is vampire heresy.
-Twilight is fiction
-Twilight has turned into a religion (cited by the previous article)
-It's not just me; a lot of websites stated about hating twilight…not that I am obliged to tell it here.

-Everyone loves Twilight
-Twilight is the book of the decade
-Twilight is the ultimate love story
-Edward Cullen and Bella Swan have the ultimate "love story"

First, Vampire Heresy

Heresy - (1) opinion or doctrine at variance with the orthodox or accepted doctrine; (2) any belief or theory that is strongly at variance with established beliefs, customs, etc.

I think it's already well-explained from those definitions that twilight is a vampire heresy. People who give rationale about this fact simply don't just get it.
Example, if you enroll on a mythology subject, the exam comes and a question states that "Do vampires walk in daylight?";
You answer might just be likely, "Yes, they even sparkle.", do you think you'll get a point out of that?


-There is a load of anti-twilight people and materials off the internet; BUT they are not enough to match the wave of twilight lovers.

-Vampires don't sparkle-if they do, they can fill the world with rainbows and unicorns, even pixies.


The Plot:

Bella goes into the place, Forks, Washington with his dad. She left her mom because…(I don't care about the details). She goes into school…and meets Edward. Edward is not even popular at school, Bella thought why everyone didn't notice him. They interact, and has found out Edward's a (fake) vampire, which from the ongoing pages, it was mentioned he will sparkle. She found out that he's a vamp when Edward saved her from that car coming at her…which is, if it weren't for her clumsiness. That made Bella fall in love (which is a lame reason) with Edward. Edward fell in love in return, and a scene from the movie almost went to sex (so, is this the main reason why a lot of people like Twilight?). He hungers for her blood, obviously (this is the only factor that states Edward is really a vampire, secondary to being a faggot.) Another set of vampires came and attempts to eat Bella (Of course, it's their nature), their only reason if I think, for sport, and second, they are vampires…closer to what real vampires do; thus Edward rescues her (for the sake of common sense or to end the whole first book of nonsense-he has to rescue her.) and there you go, the end of twilight story.

It has sequels which all of you know, the books new moon, eclipse, and breaking dawn.

The Result:
-There's nothing much going on, right?
-The book ended with more or less 400 or 500 pages worth of that insignificant story.
-The book is focused on two characters alone, Edward and Bella-and the rest of the other characters as mannequins. Claiming it as a good "in-book" is just as slanderous as it is.

Love V.S. Infatuation
Love: profound tender, passionate affection for a person
Infatuation: foolish or all-absorbing passion; an unreasoning or extravagant passion; state of being completely carried away by an extravagant passion.
Defense of twilight lovers: twilight is a romantic love story novel
Answer: Do you think what Bella Swan is doing is an act of love? Edward Cullen keeps abusing her mentally and emotionally, is that love?

Cut the chase-no descriptions of Bella's ways, Edward's ways, no or just an ample amount of adjectives and adverbs about Edward's beauty, yeah he's beautiful, even Bella said it, well, Robert Langdon's pamphlet he wanted so much on Angels and Demons would even be thicker than this Twilight story that made 498 pages worth. Simply, by equivalent ratio, that's approximately 496 pages worth of nonsense, and 2 pages worth of what the story is all about.

Adjective Definition: defines a noun; simply, any word that defines.
Adverb Definition: modifies a verb, adjective, or other adverbs.

Where are the Adjectives and Adverbs MOSTLY Used:

For Edward Cullen, of course.
His: face, eyes, smile, teeth, voice, breath, laughter, scent, chest, movement, muscles, skin, limbs, handwriting, and driving skills.

Reality Check: Have you read erotic novels? They are very much the same as how to define a person, starting from the head. It's what sensual novels are meant for--to give the reader the outlook of the character and fantasize it. Well, Twilight lovers DO fantasize about Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.

Please: kiss a granite, marble, or limestone, and if it makes you faint, then I suppose Bella Swan is right when she said about Edward's lips are similar to those types of stones, it's cold and similar to a marble, hard and whatever else she stated.

If kissing a marble is also great and tempting, please share your experiences, thanks.

Why is it Plotless?
-obviously, there's no book that has that kind of plot summary, which you can call as definite. A good book worth 500 pages with definite plot can all the way point and rationalize the story well enough (eg. Harry Potter series, the first 100 pages of the sorcerer's stone already stated what Harry is to become). Twilight, which has 498 pages didn't even make sense until the 350th page out of the 498 pages (some people say 372nd page), as mentioned from a website (not cited).

It's like with the first 350 pages; the reader will keep on wondering if this Edward, the so-called vampire will eat Bella, that's all.
(It's something similar to this; I think it's Tom and Jerry? You will wonder if Tom will eat Jerry during the first minutes of the show. Tom & Jerry is far more entertaining in reality. Scooby doo and every disney animation may just be the same, hence Twilight is just the same as level of the 2D animated cartoons.)

With the adjectives and adverbs on Edward's look, you cannot call that the plot of the story.

Plot Definition: aka Storyline; it keeps the main story focused. It also keeps the story dramatic for the literature.
Twilight made it dragging; it's not dramatic at all; as dragging as you're using a car to pull a jet plane.


Edward Cullen is a faggot:

The definition of a faggot is NOT necessarily meant as a third sex or a woman trapped in a man's body, or a man acting as a girl and thinks he's a girl. Therefore, do you know that a lot of words can come up with multiple meanings or terms? "Faggot" is one of those terms.

Any guy can be called faggots or gays whenever they lost the appeal that makes them guys or males.

Fag, gay, girly, all these words define how impractical or ludicrous he must have looked like. Here are a few lines Bella Swan proudly stated that made him look more of a "beautiful Edward Cullen" that the twilight lovers liked and loved:

"I couldn't imagine how an angel could be any more glorious."
-Whatever. A man compared to an angel is just as "fagging". Let's just say Edward is more handsome than an angel-yeah…right…whatever. This novel is plainly rumbling about words with no research regarding the meanings, such as what is an angel and what is a vampire.

"He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. (Along with the I don't know how many pages these definitions have been repeated over and over.)"
-Perfectly still…that's what a marble statue is. Sculpted, incandescent, scintillating-yeah, he's glowing! Glow in the dark. That's why,

"Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline."

"The meadow, so spectacular to me at first, paled next to his magnificence."
-It just states Edward is beautiful, not handsome. Bella is always snobbish to what the nature is, like she mentioned that Forks was just all green. She's one of the people you can call plastic, hence superficial.

"Because, through the heavy water, I heard the sound of an angel calling my name, calling me to the only heaven I wanted."
-Whatever. Are you on drugs, Bella Swan?

The adverbs and descriptions about him made it more gay-ish, for example, how come, if he's a vampire, let's say with vampiric nature, ever get to be so lame?

Vampire Definition is too broad, but all vampires should be ruthless, and blood thirsty. Vampires are weak to crucifixes as well as silver, and holy water can also be added. They die if being hit in the head or by heart with a wooden stake or an iron. They are weak mostly to garlic and salt, and cannot be exposed to water, more over, cannot be exposed to sunlight. Hence, they sleep during daylight and wake up during nightfall to quench their thirst for blood.

(Starting from this point until the end of this article, the facts go hand in hand with the twilight sequels as well)


More about the faggot issue:

Obviously, even if people rationalize just like Bella does that Edward is godlike and very handsome (or beautiful), then:

-How come Edward was treated like a social outcast from his school? I'm not really fixing on this statement, I could care less. He acts more of a geek without glasses, right?

-Edward Cullen lived for 100+ years, why is it that he never even tried kissing someone? Well?

-Edward Cullen lived for 100+ years, even the oldest religious human would probably be devirginized already by that age.

-Edward Cullen lived for 100+ years, with that spun of time, did he really not make at least, not even once had a girlfriend? I mean, Bella said he's godlike, all girls faint on his beauty, now, where's the backbone for that? Surely, world war 1 and 2 hit the earth, along with the 1950's crisis, the Vietnam war along with the gulf war, and the twin towers fell…with all those events for 100 years, what the heck was he doing, doing manicure and pedicure?

-Edward Cullen is a vampire, not a moron or an animal-I think. His actions are more of being insecure, yes that's the term, and males besmirched out to as faggots (losing appeal as males, remember, not the third sex I'm pointing) are always insecure.

-Edward Cullen, absolutely what kind of a guy would, you know, for 100 years? He doesn't have a girlfriend. Isn't it humiliating for being a guy, if he ever thinks he's still a guy?

-Edward Cullen as stalking and being creepy. Stalking for watching Bella sleep for like, months, years? I think maybe Bella's blanket falls every so often in the mornings, whatever or whoever made it happen.

-Since Edward Cullen is insecure, and as much as jealous… One part in the movie was when Edward growled to Jacob when Bella was talking to him. Bella just conversed with Jacob, and nothing else, or if there is, let the best man win. THAT is how a man should act-not just priming jealousy and growling. Having watched that movie wasted two hours of my life and two dollars and 15 cents worth of one movie ticket.

-Edward Cullen, starting from the twilight until the Breaking Dawn novel, clearly withholds Bella for sexual intercourse. Alright-wait, the explanation is clear: he is "attracted" to Bella's blood, he's a vampire, and he is in love but keeps controlling Bella.

The Result: the whole story is very much disorganized and it's not even planned out. This is a guy thing-given the "social trend" of the matter, he's a fag. The twilight lovers can easily say that Edward is different and respects Bella's chaste, and whatnot, or can be defended that the Twilight novel isn't a sex-based story, BUT Bella keeps inviting Edward, and he keeps holding out, thus he's a real fag. The faggot term applies well that it doesn't need to be third sex, but a guy who lose his male appeal-so much.


Bella Swan is a Mary Sue, she could also be your "popular mean girl"

-She is superficial, obviously.

-The way he wanted attention to Edward is, what, you call this as the B-word in 5 letters, and then add to its end with letter "y".

-She doesn't care much about her surroundings or what people think, that's what a popular airy mean girl is-Bella is just a mean girl with Mary-Sue's goody shoes, or clothing. Well, at least she made a new genre. Hence, these were a good mix of combo for her.

-An Anti-twilight survey goes well that from the Twilight book to the Breaking dawn one; the reader will have to read approximately 1,500 pages worth of Bella's thoughts alone. Now, what happened to the plot? I think with the four books combined, even if I say each book of the series is worth 500 pages, minus the 1,500 pages is already pointlessly reading.

-There's a popular thing going around that she committed suicide when Edward ditched her as I don't know and I don't care what really happened to that…but the fact she wanted to commit suicide means, she's dense.

-The way she always describes Edward Cullen in her mind is purely how someone who is horny keeps saying; you know what, get a dictionary, and decode into simple terms about those scintillating terms or whatever difficult words written-the trick goes that once the words are simplified, her thoughts actually can be seen as nonetheless, the acts of hormones-and the 1,500 pages worth.

-Hormones are different from pheromones, for there is no "mating season" in humans, unlike animals. That is, if you consider Bella and Edward as otherwise.

Mary-Sue Character Definition:
A Mary Sue Character in literary criticism and particularly in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as wish-fulfillment fantasies for their authors or readers. Perhaps the single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly. The author may seem to push how exceptional and wonderful the "Mary Sue" character is on his or her audience, sometimes leading the audience to dislike or even resent the character fairly quickly; such a character could be described as an "author's pet".


Edward Cullen's abuse:

"First off, a guy who abuses a girl is nonetheless, a faggot."

"Second, tell me after reading this if Twilight is a romance novel"

Jealousy - His jealousy (more than anything else) that instigates his abusive acts. He admits at some point, in which the main reason for not wanting Bella to see Jacob was in fact, his prejudice and jealousy, and that's hardly the only instance of his jealousy. Let the best man wins, and not jealousy is more intriguing for a romance novel.

Emotional withholding - Edward chose to leave Bella at the beginning of the New Moon novel, which made Bella wanting to commit suicide. There were also other instances which supports to this, such as Edward always preventing his emotions out-making Bella emotionally suffer.

Lack of intimacy - The intimacy issue is a trickier when it comes to Edward and Bella. First, in terms of physical intimacy: the fact that Edward controls every single chaste little kiss AND withholds sex is incredibly controlling. That he does so supposedly to protect her is negated by the fact that he's more than willing to have sex with her once they're married, even though she's still a puny, fragile human (and she does get hurt). Their lack of emotional intimacy (again, with the above point about emotional withholding) is just as damaging (as referenced by Bella's zombie-state in New Moon).

Sexual coercion - Bella wanted it, not Edward-how lame is that?

Broken promises - at the end of Twilight, Edward promises to stay with Bella no matter what. Yet at the beginning of New Moon, he massively overreacts to the supposed threat of danger and decides to break that promise, rendering Bella suicidal. Maybe this isn't traditionally abusive, but it's unnecessarily damaging.

Control games and power plays - All the above points serve the idea that Edward's prevailing character (served by his jealousy) is controlling. I don't care how 'powerful' and 'omniscient' and 'old and wise' Edward is, when you're in a romantic relationship with someone, one partner cannot be completely dominating and the other submissive. It simply isn't healthy, particularly when it's supposed to be this 'great love of all the ages' and representative of an equal partnership.

Thanks for reading, to be continued on its PART 02


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