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Cornell Application Essay

Essay By: moni
Non-fiction



I wrote this in response to the question "Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study."

please give me your most brutal feed back, i need to make sure this essay is perfect before i submit it


Submitted:Jul 30, 2009    Reads: 1,450    Comments: 6    Likes: 2   


Wearing my dark blue pilgrim dress, my second-grade self gazed up at the construction paper on the wall. That day, Mrs. Benzley had told the class to draw a picture and write a caption of what we wanted to be when we grew up. There was a row of twenty-five pieces of colorful construction paper, all with large pictures of veterinarians, singers, firemen and astronauts. There was one, though, that I was standing under, which was slightly different. The picture was nonexistent, instead there were icons scattered about the paper, which was strewn with five times as many words than the rest. Crooked, juvenile handwriting said "When I grow up I want to be a director, an architect, a chemist, a business woman, a zoologist, an artist and the first woman president." It wasn't a wish or a dream, it was a statement. Funny, how it could seem so much more concrete than the deep sea diver next to it, and yet be such an unrealistic declaration.
I looked around, feeling a little out of place. How was I going to decide my own fate? Everyone else seemed not to give their future a second thought, but I stood there feeling torn. I wanted to be an architect, I could create beautiful buildings. On the other hand, what could be a better job than playing with baby animals? Still, the desire to mix chemicals together burned through me like a corrosive base. What, then, was I going to do with my life?
They say the average college student switches majors three times. I have not started college and I have jumped from actress to writer to everything in between. Luckily, the older I get, the longer I stick with an idea; it seems sure to me that I will major in Government. I no longer desire to be president, but working in public policy seems to be my niche. I have had the opportunity to work on club councils and become an officer and even president of a few school clubs. I have consistently volunteered throughout high school, and I have applied for the Navy ROTC Scholarship. These experiences have lead me to believe, above all other aspirations, that working in government, be it local or national, is what I will be happy with.
It was, therefore, with a great leap of my heart that I read about the Cornell College of Arts and Sciences. The small classes, the dedicated teachers and the highly achieving students make me yearn to be there, experiencing and growing. Perhaps this individualized curriculum appeals to me so strongly because I have conditioned myself to crave it. With my personal experiences in the IB Program, I have come to appreciate this sort of learning. It was, in fact, this idea of valuing each students' own preferences that prompted me to apply to Simon's Rock College this past spring. Upon acceptance to the early college, I had to consider my future and decide my fate. It was with a heavy heart that I turned down the two merit-based scholarships they offered me. I decided to continue high school and finish working towards my IB diploma; but when I delve into my reasoning for not attending Simon's Rock I realize that, as perfect as that school seemed, there was in fact something better out there, something that I wanted more.
When I imagine myself at Cornell University studying with a group of brilliant peers, walking from class to class on the picturesque campus, I get a feeling I can hardly describe. It comes from that effervescence in your chest that you felt on Christmas morning as a kid. You feel the bubble inside you swell with each passing day, just waiting for the night when Saint Nick will come. Christmas Eve makes the spot in your chest consume all your emotions, but when you finally wake up on Christmas morning, all you can feel is numb bliss. Strange as it may sound, Cornell inflates these feelings. There is simply nothing I want more.
If I were to be selected to attend Cornell University, I would take advantage of all it had to offer me. I would form meaningful relationships with my peers and professors. I would choose the classes that will help me to grow and develop the most, rather than be forced into a set of core classes. I will have a long two years to help me pinpoint exactly what my major will be, I may even chose to double major in an unrelated field (something I look forward to considering). Perhaps I will choose to study abroad and learn about other forms of government and policy making.
In short, I could not honestly tell you I will not again switch my goals, but I can say with certainty that whatever it is I decide to pursue, I know that Cornell is the ideal choice for me. It is dedicated to its students' development and intellectual soundness; its unique history has enabled it to perfect the learning environment and create the most exceptional experiences for its students. I await Christmas morning so I can run down stairs youthfully and see if my wish list to Santa Clause was fulfilled; I want to see if an acceptance letter to Cornell University rests in my stocking, I want to feel the numb bliss.
NEW VERSION:
Wearing my dark blue pilgrim dress, my second-grade self gazed up at the construction paper on the wall. That day, Mrs. Benzley had told the class to draw a picture and write a caption of what we wanted to be when we grew up. There was a row of twenty-five pieces of colorful construction paper, all with large pictures of veterinarians, singers, firemen and astronauts. There was one, though, that I was standing under, which was slightly different. The picture was nonexistent, instead there were icons scattered about the paper, which was strewn with five times as many words than the rest. Crooked, juvenile handwriting said "When I grow up I want to be a director, an architect, a chemist, a business woman, a zoologist, an artist and the first woman president." It wasn't a wish or a dream, it was a statement. Funny, how it could seem so much more concrete than the deep sea diver next to it, and yet be such an unrealistic declaration.
I looked around, feeling a little out of place. How was I going to decide my own fate? Everyone else seemed not to give their future a second thought, but I stood there feeling torn. What was I going to do with my life? The world is lush with opportunity, what career will define my drive, my passion, my natural inquisition?
Luckily, my future fell upon me last summer as I prepared to begin my junior year. I decided that the STAND Club (Socially Together and Naturally Diverse) at my school needed a facelift, so I spent hours planning events, making calendars and creating posters and banners. When the first STAND meeting arrived, my heart puttered, unsure what to expect. However, my nervousness ebbed away upon seeing the classroom full of students looking up at me. Their eyes told me that they trusted me; they came here to hear me share my ideas, and they respected me for it. I conducted that meeting, as well as the rest of the meetings that year, with poise and confidence. Seeing the success of The National Day of Silence and National Mix-It-Up-Day on my campus brought me an addicting joy. I loved experiencing the impact I had on the campus, so I joined other clubs and became officers of them too. I even started a club that provided GATE students with the opportunity to have educational experiences outside of the classroom. The experiences I had in leadership roles affirmed the notion that I would someday work in public service. I have gotten a sense of fulfillment from these activities that has not presented itself to me any other time. It was not a question, therefore, that I would apply to Cornell University.
It was with a great leap of my heart that I read about the Cornell College of Arts and Sciences, specifically its Department of Government. Cornell's unique division of the four subcategories of Government creates an in-depth understanding of the workings of the political system. Unlike other colleges, Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences offers a method to thoroughly learn all aspects facing the modern agent. This allows for the development of theories and policies that would create the kind of positive impact that excites me so much. Learning from renowned professors such as Benedict Anderson and Peter Katzenstein, whose phenomenal accomplishments are not only reflections of their own teaching capacity, but the prestige of the entire department, would allow me to gain unparalleled knowledge of political theory and philosophy. I have a true passion and intrigue for the workings of our country; all my ideas fester in my head waiting to be revealed to the world. I know that I can express these, I just need Cornell's Department of Government to show me how.
Perhaps this rigorous curriculum appeals to me so strongly because I have conditioned myself to crave it. With my personal experiences in the IB Program, I have come to appreciate this sort of learning. It was, in fact, this idea of valuing comprehensive education that prompted me to apply to Simon's Rock College this past spring. Although I was offered two merit-based scholarships to attend the early college, I decided to continue high school, finish working towards my IB diploma and apply for the NROTC Scholarship. I chose not to attend Simon's Rock not because it wasn't an excellent fit for me, but because something better loomed in my future.
When I imagine myself at Cornell University studying with a group of brilliant peers, walking from class to class on the picturesque campus, exploring the seemingly infinite library, I get a feeling I can hardly describe. It comes from that effervescence in your chest that you felt on Christmas morning as a child. You feel the bubble inside you swell with each passing day, just waiting for the night when Saint Nick will come. Christmas Eve makes the spot in your chest consume all your emotions, but when you finally wake up on Christmas morning, all you can feel is numb bliss. Strange as it may sound, Cornell inflates these feelings. There is simply nothing I want more.
If I were to be selected to attend Cornell University, I would take advantage of the unique opportunities it has to offer me. I would form meaningful relationships with my peers and professors. I may choose to study abroad and learn about other forms of government and policy making. I will participate in clubs and events on and off campus; I can rally the students together to better the community. I can engage in deep and thoughtful conversations that will intrigue the students and professors. I will discover new ways to learn and explore concepts. Mostly, though, I will not waste a second of my precious four years there; I will savor the short time I have to learn and grow at such a prestigious institution.
In short, I know with certainty that Cornell is the ideal choice for me and that I will contribute everything I have to it. Cornell is dedicated to its students' development and intellectual soundness; its unique history has enabled it to perfect the learning environment and create the most exceptional experiences for its students. I await the metaphoric Christmas morning so I can run down stairs youthfully and see if my wish list to Santa was fulfilled; I want to see if an acceptance letter to Cornell University rests in my stocking, I want to feel the numb, youthful bliss.




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