GOD is always great.
During this admission ive found the temporary reprieve that ive been looking for. Its been on my mind for reasonably sometime now - - the need to be away from work and just be alone with my thoughts. The quiet, the uninterrupted sleep and the silence glorious silence.
It doesn't mean that I dislike my daily routine but sometimes you fall into a rut and just go about it mechanically, not really being there in full mind body and spirit, but just a shell of yourself. Sometimes I just need rest. Fulfilling rest. it's a bit weird this time spent watching tv, channel surfing for kiddie cartoons, eating and gorging even nothing else on my mind but sleep and if they would be bringing me hot soup for dinner or lunch.
Time for rest, regain my center and refocus my perspective on what is personally essential.
What really comprises the essentials? Others could mean money, control, business, fame, popularity. Others put more family time as more important, yet still others find it closest to their heart to give and share to the less fortunate as one of their life's essentials.
With valuable time and space on my hands, I got the much needed chance to reevaluate and reassess my personal essentials and where I was on keeping them.
I look back and recall that ive always had my family on that listing no matter what, I consider myself utterly blessed since the little ones found their way into my life, making a bit of a clutter in my organized sked albeit a delightful muddle. They constantly amaze me, confound me and astonish me by sometimes giving me a glimpse of what small me was back in the day hahahah
It humbles me to have this chance to mold them into persons, it comforts me to be able to give what I see as needs for my parents, it makes me lighthearted to truly make this family happy.
I am also in high spirits at having found work. Truly exhausting, confusing, tiring, maddening work of this call job. At this point of growth at work, im happy to say I see progress in myself with the routine and the demands of the ever changing accounts and benefits hahaha it doesn't baffle me as much, it doesn't make me uncertain as much. I can truly say ive gained a bit of ground in wp.
I like the freedom at having work, being able to give when I want to and share when I need to. Tho parental support is always there and for which by the way I am utterly grateful, there comes that point wherein we feel responsible for ourselves and our future and with that thought we strive on our own to be independent and be as self sufficient as possible.
I keep rare and few but true friends over the years, some have gone and some stay despite the distance and changing time skeds and priorities. And with life's dynamism im seeing that old may not necessarily equate with true in some cases of forged bonds. But ive always affirmed time and again that life will always find a way of giving us what is best and in the process of giving us that best, it will always take away what is no longer good and beneficial and replace it with positive and far better ones. An end is never a sad thing then because it will only be the start of something greater.
My me time has given me space to get back to another of my essentials - my personal novenas. I have already felt the pangs of guilt at not having rendered my prayers for the different people groups that I have on my list and this illness gave me back that chance. This quiet gave me my prayer peace and calm.
Im choosing to keep my essentials, im seeing that these make the very essence of a contented person - - rich in what matters the bare essentials.
As I explore what is around me to be able to give me more time for these essentials I remember my dear friend mitch said - going out of the comfort zone and taking a risk - haha very apt and significant quote indeed. Crossing fingers I will miss you much Mitchikoy.
Life as dynamic as it is gave me this opportunity for my me time - for which im really grateful not everyone gets the chance to reassess in this bustling place.
I give out thoughts of gratitude to the universe and to my Maker most of all for this personal space.
Im also appreciative of the people who came to share of themselves and their time - Lance and Adi, Ralph, Antonia, Chrislam, E.Z, crystal, heather, and yves. For sparing time on a family day chai I am grateful to have had you come by and see me.
thank you for the message of concern Jannie you know that you are always my first tl and a really great mentor to me.
I know if you were in Cebu you would also not hesitate to come Jayne my condolences go out to you and Chad as well. For the unending support, I am humbled to keep you as an old friend Noy.
Mai thank you for your call to let me know that I was on your mind. Lorely my dear soul sister, I sorely miss the laughter and I know you would have been that person to keep me company the entire hospital stay that would keep me in stitches because of all that you are to me.
Shauna thank you for the concern, im excited to see you and the c.o.r.e. people again for food and laughter during some downtime.
Jo M thank you for the message i do hope to see you soon in cebu gwapa hugs!!
Thank you for the prayers honey it is very much appreciated. Thank you as well sme choanne and tl chulius for coming by im always thankful to God to have placed me with great people on the team - - the original homeys as well as those who have joined us from team alex. We have blended into a beautiful harmony :D
We miss you homeys we keep you in our prayers for the best things to come to you all - steve, carlo, beyam, adi and donna.
Thank you too so so much Anna for the time, the company the laughter. I cannot ask for more candidness than that.
Ive missed writing so! Right now my handwriting seems to have dwindled into mere unintelligible scribblings but nonetheless im feeling like ive gone thru a box of the chocolate KK's as I furiously pen all these thoughts down.
Ive started writing on the 3rd and I close this on the 6th as I prepare to gather my meager belongings and get ready to go on home. Just my mere reflections, as is apt for the season, that are set free onto paper, by no means binding anyone to these except my own emotional catharsis.
2012.3.6 763 chh