It all started in the summer of '04, when I was just 6 years old. My mum dropped me home and left me to face my abuser alone.
He was drunk, I was scared, we were alone. "Smile for me Princess," he said to me. He had a huge grin on his face whilst I was standing there, puzzled. I loved my step-dad with all my heart, so I smiled, the normal smile I would smile everyday. He smiled big, eyeing me up and down. Clueless, I giggled and jumped on him. "Let's go upstairs to my room," he told me, and I agreed. He carried me up the stairs and took me into the largest room in the house, locking the door behind him. He slowly lowered me onto the bed and began to undress me. I was confused, so I sat up. "I don't want to do this daddy," I told him, frowning. He layed me back down and told me not to worry. I was frightened, but I just stayed put. Very soon, I was stripped. I tried to get back up again, but I had soon realised that I had done something wrong. "Stay there!" He shouted at me as he pinned me down to the bed. A tear rolled down my cheek. He had never shouted at me before, and I was so puzzled, he had never shouted at me like that before. He was my step-dad and I'd never heard him shout this loud. "What are you doing to me?" I questioned, as he dabbed his fingers into me. "Just feeling, to check if there's anything wrong. Just as the doctor would do, don't you like it?" he asked me. "Well no daddy, it's painful and it really hurts," I said, really upset by this point. He began to undress himself, and for the first time in my life, I had seen a penis. I knew something was wrong, because my mum had once told me that; "if daddy ever gets naked infront of you, scream." And so I screamed. As loud as my little throat could cope.
He held his hand to my mouth so that I wouldn't scream again. I became frustrated and began to kick, I knew I shouldn't have but I had no other option. He tied my mouth with a bit of cloth and stretched my legs open. I literally was completely clueless of what he was trying to do. Very soon, which seemed like too soon, he began to try and insert his penis into me. I has no idea what I had done to be put through such a painful punishment. "Daddy stop it!" I tried to shout, but coluldn't. He began moving around inside me and I felt dirty and disgusted. I felt as if I had just fallen into a deep, dark hole and coluldn't get out. I was totally helpless. My face was so red, I could feel it, and I had no way of stopping the pain, so I just laid there whilst he did whatever he wanted with me. I was cryin silently, when suddenly I heard a loud bang on the bedroom door, I was more than relieved. Little did I know that a simple bang on the door wasn't going to save me. "GO AWAY!" I remember him shouting at the top of his voice. "If you don't give me what I want Niah," he spoke out to my mum, "then she fucking will!" He was laughing. I was in so much pain that I couldn't even move. I didn't understand what he was doing, doctors defiantly didn't do this to me, so why was he doing it if he was being like the doctor? I gave in and just closed my eyes as he entered me again, hoping to some how just die, laying there where I was. "Mummy, is daddy hurting her?" I remember my brother asking my mum. There was a sudden silence for about two minutes. Next thing I know, my brother was banging on the door, so hard that I was hoping it would just break and fall, not knowing that he wasn't half as strong for that. My step-dad tried to ignore the banging, but it soon became too much for him to bare, and he opened the door as he roared.
He grabbed my brother and pushed him against the wall. "Can't you see how busy I am?!" He shouted, punching the tiny little figure who was supposed to be his son. He hit him repeatedly, and then got him to the floor and kicked him continuously. My brother meant everything to me, and I was feeling his pain. I tried to scream but I couldn't. My mum jumped infront of my brother, trying to stop the beating, but she too became badly beaten. He punched her right in the nose continuously, as the blood splattered everywhere. "Look at the mess you've made with your diseased blood!" he shouted at her. "Lick it now!" He demanded. She shook her head, but that was by far the worst thing to do in a situation like this. He became angry and kicked her to the floor, making her bleed from numerous places. She looked up at my brother and must have made some sort of hand gesture because with that, he came running in the room to get me. Just as we started running down the stairs, I realised that in the pain I was in, I wouldn't be able to far at all. So I decided to give it a shot at helping my mum, who was curled up into a little ball of helplessness. I ran back up the stairs, and my heart began pounding even faster. I stood there watching as he hurt one of the most important people in my life like he had a right to. I was crying so loud. "Daddy please stop," I cried. "I'm not your fucking daddy! When the fuck will you understand that?!" He bellowed as he turned to me, and with that, he hit me across the head. I fell, unconscious
| Email this Novel
| Add to reading list