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Deafening Silence

Poetry By: E Cluff

Tags: Loss, Grief, Family, Hope

I began writing as a means to work through my grief over the loss of my sister, Lesley Day, to cancer. Since her loss I have felt like a piece of me is missing, too. In the process I have taken a deeper look at my family before and my family now and what it all means to me. For a portion of my life I felt like a person without a voice, but I now know you really can hear me.

Submitted:May 18, 2010    Reads: 104    Comments: 11    Likes: 7   

Grief is this vast, open space with no color or sound,

just an empty awareness of no longer me and you.

The silence of your absence is deafening at times.

So much of life is this one-way conversation

taking place in a paradigm of my own creation.

It doesn't matter how much time passes,

when I find myself here it is as lonely for me

as the day you stopped breathing.

Grief sneaks up on me when I feel vulnerable or afraid

and it pounces like a rabid dog, infecting me with its' disease.

For a few moments, or hours I feel myself a child again

lost amid the chaos of life with no ability to interpret its' meaning.

And then life happens,

it is all around me;

even now it calls my name,

"Mom, Mom, where are you?"

And I am here

I am glad to be here

I just selfishly wish

you were here, too


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