Spinning Sideways

At first I laugh And then I cry Searching for The reasons why My sleep, my tears My mind, my fears Keep racing by so fast Spinning I ask aloud And silent then Why I can't Remember when My joy, my wife My kids, my life Became a distant past I try to keep My public smile I work the room I walk a while I laugh, I sell It works so well I really have a blast But In the end I always see The way to find The real me I love, I live I earn, I give My best, I'm home at last