the rape story

when people see me

they think i'm as happy as a child playing

but they don't know the secrets that are within

the flashes of the past i have at night

they don't know i'm as lonely as pluto

there not there at night when i have those dreams

of the dark past

of the evil

that hurt me

and took my innocencce

they don't understand that it cann't be fix

you can't repair what has been damage permantly

they tell you let go of the pain and hurt

God will heal

sometimes i  believe God can not take away the image of the

evil man violating me

out of my head

but then they don't know of those images

of this evil monster raping me over and over in my head

just like  the first time he did

i know he's dead and gone

but i wish he's gone to hell

i know i'm not supose to wish

that

because i'm saved

but i'll tell you

i don't want to go to heaven

if he's there

i just want to fly away

just like birds  in the skies

and  run freely

like the wild beasts in the forest

i cann't do that if i see him