You Deserved To Live.
My fondest memories are with you
You always knew how I felt
Be it tears or laughter
You’d know in a heartbeat.
We had the best days under the sun together
You’d follow me like the loyal thing you were
You’d mess with me, tease me
But you never abandoned me.
You were the friend I always had
Even when my human companions were afar
You didn’t judge, didn’t accuse
You just let me be myself.
You spoke volumes with your eyes
They let me know you loved me
You always let me know you were listening-
The swish of your tail and a nudge with your nose.
We grew up together through good times and bad
Your company I could always look forward to
If I were sick you would stay at my side
And in the mornings egged me to rise.
You saved my life before either of could even understand
The sanctity of our bond
You held on, I didn’t let go.
You saved me from a sure collapse- death even.
It took years for me to realize
How incomplete my childhood would have been
Had you not been with me
And taught me the lessons you did.
Compassion and empathy for our mute fellow-creatures
You instilled in me before I even knew those words
I try to keep your legacy alive, I try to fight
Whenever I see a voiceless creature suffering for no fault.
You are missed so much
I couldn’t let you know just much
For here, my human sense falters and strays
I can’t tell you how much I love you.
I see you in my heart, I see you in my loneliness
No human can ever fill that up
Your silent companionship
Even all the gold and precious stones can’t compare.
I will never stop feeling guilty
I’ll never stop being ashamed
Even though I try to justify in foolishness
The taking of your life.
Your life that had become a part of my soul
My silent friend, my most loyal companion
Too soon we let you sleep
Too soon we let you go.
I couldn’t afford to give you the kind of home
A big-hearted canine deserves
With open fields and grassy lawns
To watch the night stars from and lull to sleep.
It wasn’t what we humans label money
That forced me to take your life
It wasn’t the lack of it
Nor did I lose my heart.
You got sick too often
You would be in a lot of pain
Silent, aching breaths as you lay
On the floor in a pool of your own drool.
It would always rip my heart
I would want to cry but I would hide
To see you suffer so much and not be able to help
Made me feel like a merciless tyrant.
You deserved to live, my little love
You deserved to run and play and jump
Be happy like the four-footed gleeful creature
You were made to be, you were born to be.
I could never stop the pain and guilt
I always remember when I see you in my heart
The terror you must have felt that day
There is no justifiable counterpart.
You deserved to live
The many years that rolled in after
You deserved to live
Even against man’s foolishly made odds.
No creature deserves to feel the kind of fear
You did when they came
Like a scuttling, simpering coward I abandoned you
I couldn’t watch the light leave your eyes.
I couldn’t stand to know that
Those few minutes were to decide your fate
I couldn’t stand to see your life force dying out
I couldn’t, I couldn’t.
And left us, you did.
I miss you so much
More than I thought I’d prepared myself for
How foolish, how stupid, how naïve of me.
I get told my passion is inspiring
That I am a true supporter of your rights
That I don’t give up
That I am stubborn enough to cause change.
What they don’t know
Is that this is my retribution
My penance, my responsibility
For the time I didn’t take a stand.
I know I am late, I’ve been too slow to awake
But I am standing strong now
I refuse to turn a blind eye though I am helpless at times
For every life taken undeservedly, we pay in some way.
I wish I could still have you.
I wish I could have had you longer
I wish I had more stories of you to tell.
I wish I had had more days with you.
I can’t change the past
But I can try for the future
I refuse to turn a blind eye
I refuse to be a mute and mindless spectator.
I refuse to not fight when I can
I refuse to back out when I can take a stand
I refuse to not see what they must endure
I refuse to walk away from it all.