You Deserved To Live.

 

You Deserved To Live.

 

My fondest memories are with you

You always knew how I felt

Be it tears or laughter

You’d know in a heartbeat.

 

We had the best days under the sun together

You’d follow me like the loyal thing you were

You’d mess with me, tease me

But you never abandoned me.

 

You were the friend I always had

Even when my human companions were afar

You didn’t judge, didn’t accuse

You just let me be myself.

 

You spoke volumes with your eyes

They let me know you loved me

You always let me know you were listening-

The swish of your tail and a nudge with your nose.

 

We grew up together through good times and bad

Your company I could always look forward to

If I were sick you would stay at my side

And in the mornings egged me to rise.

 

You saved my life before either of could even understand

The sanctity of our bond

You held on, I didn’t let go.

You saved me from a sure collapse- death even.

 

It took years for me to realize

How incomplete my childhood would have been

Had you not been with me

And taught me the lessons you did.

 

Compassion and empathy for our mute fellow-creatures

You instilled in me before I even knew those words

I try to keep your legacy alive, I try to fight

Whenever I see a voiceless creature suffering for no fault.

 

You are missed so much

I couldn’t let you know just much

For here, my human sense falters and strays

I can’t tell you how much I love you.

 

I see you in my heart, I see you in my loneliness

No human can ever fill that up

Your silent companionship

Even all the gold and precious stones can’t compare.

 

I will never stop feeling guilty

I’ll never stop being ashamed

Even though I try to justify in foolishness

The taking of your life.

 

Your life that had become a part of my soul

My silent friend, my most loyal companion

Too soon we let you sleep

Too soon we let you go.

 

I couldn’t afford to give you the kind of home

A big-hearted canine deserves

With open fields and grassy lawns

To watch the night stars from and lull to sleep.

 

It wasn’t what we humans label money

That forced me to take your life

It wasn’t the lack of it

Nor did I lose my heart.

 

You got sick too often

You would be in a lot of pain

Silent, aching breaths as you lay

On the floor in a pool of your own drool.

 

It would always rip my heart

I would want to cry but I would hide

To see you suffer so much and not be able to help

Made me feel like a merciless tyrant.

 

You deserved to live, my little love

You deserved to run and play and jump

Be happy like the four-footed gleeful creature

You were made to be, you were born to be.

 

I could never stop the pain and guilt

I always remember when I see you in my heart

The terror you must have felt that day

There is no justifiable counterpart.

 

You deserved to live

The many years that rolled in after

You deserved to live

Even against man’s foolishly made odds.

 

No creature deserves to feel the kind of fear

You did when they came

Like a scuttling, simpering coward I abandoned you

I couldn’t watch the light leave your eyes.

 

I couldn’t stand to know that

Those few minutes were to decide your fate

I couldn’t stand to see your life force dying out

I couldn’t, I couldn’t.

 

And left us, you did.

I miss you so much

More than I thought I’d prepared myself for

How foolish, how stupid, how naïve of me.

 

I get told my passion is inspiring

That I am a true supporter of your rights

That I don’t give up

That I am stubborn enough to cause change.

 

What they don’t know

Is that this is my retribution

My penance, my responsibility

For the time I didn’t take a stand.

 

I know I am late, I’ve been too slow to awake

But I am standing strong now

I refuse to turn a blind eye though I am helpless at times

For every life taken undeservedly, we pay in some way.

 

I wish I could still have you.

I wish I could have had you longer

I wish I had more stories of you to tell.

I wish I had had more days with you.

 

I can’t change the past

But I can try for the future

I refuse to turn a blind eye

I refuse to be a mute and mindless spectator.

 

I refuse to not fight when I can

I refuse to back out when I can take a stand

I refuse to not see what they must endure

I refuse to walk away from it all.